Anonymous beestboy 7w

You look just the way you were meant to and im sure the people who love you wouldn’t want it any other way

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Anonymous beestboy 7w

Hey! So I’m currently sobbing rn this made my night lolll I was expecting hate or trolls in the replies

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Anonymous beestboy 7w

Thank you so much for this, I really needed to hear this

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Anonymous beestboy 7w

I’ve definitely been trying to get better with this the whole summer, there are definitely some days where I just look in the mirror and I’m like wow maybe im too harsh on myself

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Anonymous OP 7w

Ofc! I had an old girlfriend before who was very similar so I know how hard this can be for some people. Just know you’re not alone in your feelings, and in your humanity. Maybe you can talk with other women like a support group or try digging deeper in a true journaling session with you and your thoughts. I think ur bf has a point that someone made you feel this way or communicated a message to you that got internalized as a belief that you have today.

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Anonymous beestboy 7w

Whatever it may be, just take it easy, don’t be hard on yourself, and it’s one day at a time :)

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Anonymous beestboy 7w

I 100% think so as well, I just can’t remember who it could’ve been that made me feel like this? Maybe an old rls? Or family? Or maybe even myself..?

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Anonymous OP 7w

It was not yourself. An exercise my first therapist taught me was trying to identify the voices of the thoughts that occur in my head. Maybe this can be of help to you. For instance just be present in mind next time a scenario pops up where ur bf might see u without make up, that sends a signal to ur brain and usually a thought pops up telling you how you feel. That hatred. Isolate that thought and identify who it sounds like

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Anonymous beestboy 7w

This is genius. Thank you for taking time out of your day to give me genuine advice and insight on my situation. I wish you the best!

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Anonymous beestboy 7w

I usually have old relationships that echo the same qualms to me that my mother used to echo to me as well growing up. They became things I now echo to my self. So it feels like it’s me who’s thinking it but really it was my primary caregiver that hammered a belief into me, and I eventually chose partners that would reinforce that belief, rather than one that wouldn’t . So while u may have had old rls, usually it’s because of an early experience

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Anonymous beestboy 7w

Can you expand on the last section of your comment?

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Anonymous OP 7w

Okay so let’s say my mom is mean and calls me names right. (Experience) I’m going to believe (belief) that my mom is correct and therefore I deserve to be called mean names. (Thought) This will make me feel unworthy and not deserving of love so I then decide to date people (behavior) who remind me of these things. Then I will have an experience of these mean name calling things with someone else all over again, thus completing the cycle. Eventually, I start to think I am a bad thing and deserve

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Anonymous beestboy 7w

To be called that. The belief has become internalized. Now I’m going on a whim here and not saying this happened to you but I’m gonna paint a picture of what could have happened to get u where you are now, maybe you can fill in the blanks.

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Anonymous beestboy 7w

And I’m not a therapist so I can be entirely wrong about all of this lol. But let’s say as a kid u saw someone u look up to call a woman (or you) ugly and how a woman should be pretty(experience) and that teaches u the idea (thought) that if you’re not that you won’t be loved. So in the case with ur bf u feel (emotion) that he may abandon you or see you as less worthy so u need to put on makeup (behavior) . The difference here is he loves u either way

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Anonymous beestboy 7w

So it’s breaking the concept of the cycle and thus it leaves u here on YY feeling confused and broken because this is going against something you’ve believed to be true for so long (if I’m not pretty enough, I won’t be loved, and I’ll be abandoned, left alone.) AGAIN idk u fr im just going off on very limited info. I say u do some soul searching and taking this with a grain of salt but really stay present with urself and identify if what you’re thinking is really your ideas or someone else’s

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Anonymous beestboy 7w

I think you just helped me out with figuring out why I feel like this. Sorry it took days to respond I needed to take everything in. But i heavily believe my sister has something to do with this. I can recall so many times when she’s made nasty and backhanded comments about me that I’ve been internalizing and believing that “this is how my bf might see me” “I don’t want him to see me as that” type of thing.

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Anonymous OP 7w

I also on top of that have a really hard time believing what people on the streets tell me, ppl online,friends, and so on tell me bc i image issues and lack insecurity in myself. But it can also depend on the day lol. I think I just really need to get the help I need

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Anonymous OP 7w

Yea that’s totally reasonable especially if it’s a big sis someone who is supposed to look out and care for you. Totally reasonable tbh . How have u been feeling since?

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Anonymous beestboy 7w

Yes it’s my big sister (7 year age gap). I’ve been doing okay, I wish more progress could be made but over the years I find keeping up with myself helps me with feeling better naturally. For example doing my eyebrows, it’s a small thing but it does wonders to how i feel about myself lol. I feel like a whole new lady and I can be in the mirror just observing and reassuring myself of my beauty.

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Anonymous OP 7w

Yes I really recommend talk therapy! It’s important to have an outsiders opinion that is well versed in this sort of thing. I used to struggle with self image and sometimes I still do but I have been blessed to find that I’m just the way I am and that’s fine. Regardless of how you look you bring a bundle of light into this world that no one else can replicate, and that alone is beauty in itself 💖

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Anonymous OP 7w

I totally get you! I used to have a lot of insecurities around my big brother also 7 years older than me lol something bout that 7 😭😭

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Anonymous beestboy 7w

Omggg lmao that’s crazyy😭 if only they knew how much of the things they said carried onto our lives.

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