Anonymous #2 1d

Dawg what

71

It actually really is that deep.

709

It is that deep tho that's why these things are happening. i'm just providing reasoning as to why some trans people may not mention their identity off the bat.

408

Anonymous #13 1d

Yea that's just fully unacceptable and wrong I get the fear of being judged or not being seen as your desired identity but they were just not thinking about your feelings at all and being selfish to save themselves.

50

Anonymous #11 1d

very good point, however, hiding trans identity, especially in the dating world will breed violence. it is unfortunate that one would have to clarify their identity but I view it to be very similar to if you are dating someone and you can’t have children, or you really don’t want children, it’s something that can make or break a relationship and should be told early on.

256

Anonymous #13 1d

This I get. It’s fine to not tell someone until the second date or whatever, but there’s no excuse for this

45

Anonymous #10 1d

im sorry but in college dating you shouldn’t have to disclose whether or not you can have children early on

225

Anonymous #2 1d

Nah some of them look more woman, than women

-18

Anonymous #18 1d

it’s a general statement

27

Anonymous #20 1d

I agree, give them their own app. Same with bathrooms.

-12

Anonymous #20 1d

“normal folk” is fucking crazy. so what you’re suggesting is isolating trans people to their own app because they have no place being with “normal” people?

71

Anonymous #6 1d

yess especially bathrooms! because no one should ever have to be scared to be who they are

9

Anonymous #20 1d

Exactly, alot of trans people have bathroom anxiety. Giving them Their own bathroom eliminates that and offers a solution.

-9

no they mean cisgender.

81

Anonymous #18 1d

also remember college is not just freshly 18 year olds. grad students and people returning to school! many people find their spouses here. hookup culture is majority but not every relationship.

71

Anonymous #15 1d

Truly a disappointing take. Trans people are PEOPLE first, idk why we have to segregate them like wtf😭

34

Anonymous #6 1d

They have that anxiety due to people being hateful, if ppl would just mind their business it wouldn't be an issue

39

Anonymous #15 1d

um yes? if they aren’t safe why subject them to being attacked!! its not isolation it’s a way to keep them safe

-2

Anonymous #11 1d

? I agree it’s a safety thing, but wouldn’t it be safer to disclose that before you even go on the date?

105

Anonymous #20 1d

Bro it's quite literally isolation. That's like saying black people are being hate crimed so much let's put them in separate schools and bathrooms! Like no ppl we aren't going back in time tf

43

Anonymous #20 1d

They do have their own app lol

10

Anonymous #11 1d

I sympathize with women who dont want bio males in their bathrooms. It can be uncomfortable for all parties and telling women to “mind their business” is a bit insensitive

-9

Anonymous #11 1d

bro you say they aren’t safe on dating apps w predatory people so when i suggest they have their own app i’m crazy that doesnt even make sense no one should ever have to feel unsafe solely based on how they live their life

3

Anonymous #11 1d

Giving them their own bathrooms gives everyone a safe space.

-8

Anonymous #11 1d

Its not segregation. Its why we have male and female bathrooms. Because biologically we are different. We also have gender neutral bathrooms already too.

2

Anonymous #29 1d

ohhh i didn’t know thank u for letting me know

1

Anonymous #20 1d

This is one of the apps they have but I don’t think there’s enough ppl on it so they don’t only use that

12

Anonymous #20 1d

it’s 100% isolation.

16

Anonymous #11 1d

Its not race though. Its by sex.

2

Anonymous #32 1d

nobody said that, i’m pretty sure most people would wanna know in a conversation prior to a first date to know what they’re getting into, the fact you think that is entitlement is crazy to me

36

Anonymous #15 1d

literally no it isn’t it’s providing a safe and comfortable space for them, are u not understanding that it’s OPTIONAL to go onna different app???

9

Anonymous #20 1d

I'm saying they aren't safe announcing to EVERYONE on that app that they're trans, not that the entire app is fully of predatory or hateful ppl. Ur insinuating that so much so that they need a whole other app when they don't, they just need to be mindful about the information they're sharing which is the whole point of this conversation

14

Anonymous #32 1d

wtf are u talking about. I want to date a girl, I shouldn’t be tricked into thinking she’s a girl when she isn’t lmao

25

Anonymous #28 1d

why does it matter lmao?? you don’t withhold that type of information from someone you’re hoping to deal with romantically. some people don’t want to mess with trans ppl, etc. this is why so many trans ppl endure violence from deceiving people.

1

Anonymous #37 1d

Why do they not want to mess with trans people? Why is it trans people’s fault that transphobes exist?

38

Anonymous #16 1d

This is just wrong. Tell people before they devote time to the relationship.

-22

Anonymous #6 1d

dont let people think that this opinion is wrong bc it isn’t, its “stop violence against women” until we start putting in measures to actually stop violence against women

1

Anonymous #15 1d

So normal

-18

Anonymous #39 1d

you’re devoted to a relationship by the second date lol?

204

Anonymous #26 1d

It’s not literally lying unless someone outright says they’re cisgender when they’re not. Sure it should be discussed early on in the relationship for the sake of openness, but not putting it on your profile is totally understandable

42

Anonymous #20 1d

People are saying that it shouldn't be an option that's the whole point they just want trans ppl on their own app, and out of their spaces which is odd.

15

Anonymous #6 1d

Hey guys actual trans person here. Having our own restrooms absolutely the fuck does not give us our own “safe space.” I’m a bio trans man. The whole part of being a man is that I’m a man. Not some “secret third thing” that needs another restroom. I don’t want my “transness” to be called to light, I just want to piss and shit like every other man in the men’s restroom. Shouldn’t be so hard to understand

24

Anonymous #28 1d

Some people want children..?? And preferences? Wdym why

40

Anonymous #11 1d

mind you they already have apps just for them, it’s a choice if they wanna be on a regular dating app then that’s their choice, wtf is so wrong with giving them options?? i didn’t insinuate anything i literally flat out said it and apps like that exist because people in fact use them to feel safe, as they should

1

Anonymous #39 1d

If you’re devoting time to a “relationship” on the first date that’s kinda crazy

88

Anonymous #20 1d

Trans dating apps are mostly full of old men who are not trans and want to fuck trans people. They’re unusable

24

Anonymous #43 1d

Again, if someone is taking time out of their day or money to see someone and connect. You should be up front. Tell someone on the app. Also, why meet someone and then risk them being violent bc they didn’t know??

2

Anonymous #41 1d

But were you a girl first?

8

Anonymous #39 1d

Should I also divulge my family’s cancer history and my T1 diabetes while I’m at it? My medical history isn’t the concern of someone I’ve been on one date with. Get a grip

59

Anonymous #27 1d

absolutely would be safer!

23

Anonymous #38 1d

Shut up 😌

19

Anonymous #8 1d

Exactly thank you, womens voices matter too. Especially if they are uncomfortable and voice an issue. I think everyone should be comfortable the way they are, this shouldn’t even have to be an argument

11

Anonymous #45 1d

Why?

19

Anonymous #41 1d

YESS THANK U WAS WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO COME IN AND SAY THIS.

25

that was an example of information you should share before you go on a date, if you can’t have children, super religious, trans, etc. not an invitation for you to make a nasty comment.

33

Anonymous #27 1d

some will target trans people in particular so it can be safer to disclose after a match

98

Anonymous #41 1d

Your medical history and DISEASES and DISFUNCTION is not the same as “hey I was born a woman/man, if that makes you uncomfortable we should stop now” lmfao tf? Comparing diabetes to not being able to have children or the correct anatomy someone wants for intimacy is insane

100

Anonymous #47 1d

This is valid. Just be like “hey im trans btw”

60

Anonymous #47 1d

Right

2

Anonymous #26 1d

gng, you’re already wasting your time on a dating to begin with. but, I agree that it’s misleading.

9

Anonymous #33 1d

because if i’m talking to a guy that i think is a guy (mind you im straight) and i find out it’s a girl, i’d be mad. not so much that he’s really a girl but the fact that he lied and had me believing something that wasn’t even true.

18

Anonymous #6 1d

Saves everyone time . And if they don’t want u after disclosing that then they are not the one for you

36

Anonymous #45 1d

he’s not a girl hope this helps

35

Anonymous #39 1d

no they mean cisgender, also you’re really calling yourself out lol

48

Anonymous #14 1d

This is why no one likes yall omg

-5

Anonymous #39 1d

considering your other comments it doesn’t seem like anyone should respect your opinion ngl

18

Anonymous #30 1d

the omission of truth is still wrong btw

-7

Anonymous #45 1d

Trans men are not “girls”, though?

38

Anonymous #39 1d

Nobody likes ignorant ppl bro gtfo

27

Anonymous #41 1d

right so when u go into a bathroom god forbid all the stalls are taken and there are only urinals you’ll be shit outta luck, which is why we are simply saying there should be resources to help y’all fucking idiot

5

Anonymous #47 1d

You’re disregarding what I say because I’m right 😭 awesome. “I don’t wanna hear it” because I make valid points such as basic honesty

36

Anonymous #11 1d

It’s not ignorant to have preferences

19

Anonymous #39 1d

because we call out people who say we’re lying about our gender? lmao you just keep getting worse

13

Anonymous #45 1d

Like… “talking to” romantically? Or just as friends? Bc I understand the romantic side but if you were just friends it’s really none of your business what’s inside someone else’s pants

8

Anonymous #14 1d

Just say woman or man, by definition in the dictionary. And then “trans woman or man”

-19

if you’re gonna be a transphobe then you don’t have a say in this convo

20

Anonymous #47 1d

No, you bring it up just to be spiteful and ruin a good conversation where good points are being made. You completely ignored what that person said to be snarky

0

Anonymous #46 1d

romantically!!!!! even as a friend just say you’re trans and move on but like ESPECIALLY romantically

5

Anonymous #39 1d

Lmaoo

-3

Anonymous #6 1d

men don’t need an excuse to go into women’s restrooms and be predatory, they do that anyway lmao. the idea that trans women are only trans so they can harass cis women in the bathroom is absurd

32

Anonymous #9 1d

trans women are women y’all are just fucking weird

42

Anonymous #47 1d

Bio woman here, no😭

-7

Anonymous #47 1d

This entire post is transphobic, this conversation is like 90% transphobes telling each other it’s okay to be transphobic. It sucks lol

16

Anonymous #33 1d

We could have a conversation about why people deserve to know lmao

8

what are intersex people then

36

Anonymous #14 1d

If you did research you’d know intersex are still classed as male or female at birth

-10

Anonymous #8 1d

trans people don’t harm women, they’re actually multiple times more likely to be victimized than cis women. y’all just make shit up to get mad at.

29

Anonymous #47 1d

“Don’t harm women” is objectively false bc there have been cases but yall don’t care

-6

This is not true. You can just walk into a bathroom regardless. Men do it all the time. Why would someone go through the effort of taking hormones and changing their entire life just to do what men already do?

30

Anonymous #6 1d

youre either a man assuming he knows how women think or a woman assuming her opinion is the only one that matters lol

19

Anonymous #33 1d

Because some of them are NOT on hormones. People are counted as trans for just makeup or clothes when they haven’t done medical things yet, so people have faked and hurt women

-5

Anonymous #39 1d

so because women harm women that means women are dangerous to women? ok bro 😭

12

This is true sometimes but cant be said for the whole group. Alot of women are uncomfortable with trans women in their spaces, and sports because they have a power imbalance over females because they were born male. There definitely is a double standard between trans men and women.

-1

this is just wrong lol you think “most” men are gonna go through a fake transition just to be a creep?

22

Anonymous #14 1d

Do you need to look up the cases?

-7

Anonymous #39 1d

there’s no such thing as a bio woman unless you like reducing your womanhood to having a pussy. which is offensive to women who actually embrace who they are lol

47

Anonymous #14 1d

Also Lily tino holy moly

-6

Anonymous #6 1d

Actually just false, trans women have no bio advantage over cis women by the time they’re allowed to participate in sports. Look it up there’s study’s on this.

22

Anonymous #6 1d

I think that this should be respected and given their own space so that nobody is uncomfortable or unsafe. Then everyone has access to recourses and safety. I have never heard anyone ever complain about having a gender neutral bathroom.

3

Anonymous #47 1d

I am a woman and what??? Womanhood is being female, and it’s beautiful and complicated. How does that have anything to do with a vagina?

-2

Anonymous #30 1d

genuinely every time trans people come up people bring up the same arguments bc they’ve fallen for propaganda. now they think they’re pundits on trans issues bc of it and it’s genuinely disgusting to watch

36

Anonymous #6 1d

Who ever said anything about it being vagina based

24

Anonymous #47 1d

They aren’t just “women” women are adult human females. They are “trans women”

14

stay mad people like being themselves, trans women are women and they enjoy womanhood plenty <3

27

Anonymous #6 1d

define female

21

Anonymous #6 1d

“Trans women in sports” debates are 100% bigotry. Peer-reviewed scientific study says that trans women fall into the same strength and endurance ranges as cisgender women

23

Anonymous #33 1d

You cannot be fr

3

Read actual science if you want to know the truth. Reality doesn’t agree with the voice in your head.

27

Anonymous #39 1d

you only mention lily tino because she popular lmfao. yes i think she’s a predatory piece of shit but can i get one example that’s not off tiktok??? lmao

23

Anonymous #39 1d

it’s not because you’re right it’s because you’ve proven you know jack shit about trans people, you’re opinion is completely removed from reality.

44

Anonymous #6 1d

cisgender is more specific, that’s how qualifiers work

44

Anonymous #38 1d

my brotha just anotha me

12

Anonymous #33 1d

To clarify: they fall into the same physical ranges after about 1-3 years of HRT. The BJSM has a great study on this

20

Anonymous #33 1d

I’m sobbing I do research on this exact topic and #33 is literally correct. I can and will cite sources. Y’all are just sad it doesn’t fit your narrative

17

Anonymous #39 1d

you realize that doctors acknowledge that sex assigned at birth is a guess, right? they literally measure the length of an infant’s genitalia and if it happens to be above a certain length they’re “male” and below that they’re “female.” it’s entirely arbitrary and beholding yourself to it proves you haven’t done any research on it.

37

Anonymous #16 1d

no thats something you need to tell someone before the first date. Yeah it sucks a lot of people will probably unmatch with you but why would you want someone who doesnt want to be with the real you anyways? Why hide it at first and try to get them attatched when they might not even swing that way? It just seems sus as fuck

36

Anonymous #56 1d

so should transphobes

16

woww. You seem to have some deep rooted hatred in your heart. like seriously, are you okay? they made this choice FOR themself so they could feel more comfortable in their body. the point is their body doesn’t match their mind. They don’t accept their current body, so they change theirs into one they feel most comfortable in it. It isn’t for you, it’s isn’t for others. it’s for themself. please think before spreading negativity as such, it’s a bad look for you. get well soon <3

30

Anonymous #56 1d

you should have a separate dating app since no one wants you

29

Anonymous #31 1d

me when I suffer from severe availability bias

36

Anonymous #47 1d

When I choose to match with women I don’t want a bunch of dudes popping up on my feed lmao

-4

Anonymous #47 1d

An adult human female, google it.

-7

Anonymous #47 1d

thisss^^^

11

Anonymous #6 1d

you can’t define a word with the same word 💀 try again

35

Anonymous #47 1d

Trans women are trans women. A different type of women, still women, but different. There has to be a classification. Especially in dating which was the whole point of the post

1

Anonymous #41 1d

Sorry maam

-5

Anonymous #6 1d

tall women are different from short women are different from rural women are different from city women are different from college women are different from… yet they’re all still women. trans women are women. it’s a modifier.

42

Anonymous #60 1d

thank you

8

Anonymous #20 1d

Dude. There are people who specifically seek us out because they hate trans people so much… Forest Murray was open about being trans on dating apps he still got killed through one… we’re risking death more if we’re open from the jump. Just world fallacy

21

Anonymous #56 1d

when people choose to match with other people they don’t want someone like you popping up on their feeds lmao

25

Anonymous #47 1d

They are trans women, u gotta specify

-2

Anonymous #14 1d

Your chromosomes and genetic makeup make you a male or a female. No amount of hormones and therapy is going your way to change that.

4

Anonymous #6 1d

everyone’s a different type of woman so you’re gonna need to explain your reasoning on why trans women in particular need to plaster it on their profile

34

Anonymous #39 1d

Should men also disclose their penis sizes and whether or not they’re cut on the first date? Should women disclose their breast sizes and whether or not they have an innie or outie, or a condition like vaginismus on the first date? Just to make sure they’re people you’re sexually compatible with/attracted to

63

Anonymous #47 1d

just hop on a gay dating app it is not that hard.

-2

Anonymous #6 1d

in that case i’m a tall, skinny, brown eyed, brown haired, small nosed, broad shouldered, size 9 shoe wearing, pink enjoying, college going, cat loving, employed woman. is that how you want me to start introducing myself?

21

Anonymous #6 1d

right so they can get hate crimed like hush

5

Anonymous #6 1d

trans people are those who identify with a gender other than the one they were assigned at birth (AGAB). AGAB is determined by doctors looking at the length of your genitals and guessing based on that. it has absolutely nothing to do with chromosomes; in fact, 99% of the US population doesn’t know what chromosomes they have.

20

Anonymous #39 1d

you’re contradicting yourself babe. “if you were born with a vagina you’re a girl” so what about an intersex person with both a vagina and testes who is assigned as male at birth? what then?

21

Anonymous #14 1d

being born with a vagina/penis is also objectively not how doctors assign sex

27

Anonymous #47 1d

this thank you

6

Anonymous #6 1d

bro doesn’t understand the definition of cis and trans as descriptors, hold air head

23

Anonymous #63 1d

if you inform them BEFORE the date then the opportunity for violence is decreased. tell your tinder date you are catholic and saving yourself for marriage at the end of your $150 date and see how they react..

52

Anonymous #10 1d

right? Like it seems like you’re purposefully putting yourself in harms way especially if you’re a trans woman going out with a cisgender guy. We all know they dont react very kindly or calmy to stuff that upsets them

19

Anonymous #49 1d

No one said u gotta display it on your profile but yes you should be informing the other person before you go out

1

Anonymous #55 1d

multiple people have said this but I’m glad you think it’s a dumb idea

14

Anonymous #60 1d

Alright bruh you having genitalia that someone could have literally no interest in isnt the same as having a different favorite color. Thats weird asf

-3

Anonymous #55 1d

said they should display it*

5

Anonymous #55 1d

you realize bottom surgery exists

22

Anonymous #63 1d

#6 is actually one of the few people saying stuff like that who is actually open to discussion so they don’t really deserve the insults

-1

Anonymous #60 1d

exactly, i really only find it necessary to disclose if it seems like the relationship will become sexual!

26

Anonymous #14 1d

No. Your clearly exaggerating it. It’s something as simple as “trans women”

-1

Anonymous #64 1d

THANK YOU all these people talking about “tell them before the first date” why are we assuming we’re gonna fuck on the first date like ???!!! unless it’s been explicitly talked about

24

Anonymous #6 1d

what’s the difference between me introducing myself as a tall woman and me introducing myself as a trans woman?

13

Anonymous #47 1d

“open to discussion” and they’re under every comment spewing transphobic rhetoric lol

33

Anonymous #47 1d

U can pull someones genetic data and tell by bone structure, marrow, cell makeup, health history, and genitalia that they are a male or a female. Intersex exist too, but usually they have a dominant chromosome that determines their puberty and which will be more dominant. Not all the time but still.

-2

Anonymous #6 1d

Trying to undefined females and group males into females hurts women. When women fought so hard against males for some independence and equality

0

Anonymous #56 1d

straight trans people and they’re not gay

35

Anonymous #6 1d

that’s objectively not how it works for the vast majority of the population since, again, 99% of the population has never been karyotyped. trans people are transitioning away from their AGAB, which, again, is fully separated from chromosomes. you can’t say sex = chromosomes since that implies 99% of the population doesn’t know their own sex.

9

Anonymous #47 1d

What is a cis women?

-2

Anonymous #65 1d

a woman who aligns with the gender she was assigned at birth

23

Anonymous #14 1d

I’m explaining AGAB to them rn let me have this </3

12

Anonymous #47 1d

It issss gay😭 yall think it’s like flipping a switch. It is not.

-8

Anonymous miamorcito 1d

highkey the only rational opinion in this thread 😂✌️

1

Anonymous #39 1d

if you see someone you like on a dating app who says they don’t want sex or can’t have kids and you still like them, then later find out they’re trans and suddenly are grossed out, the problem might be you since being trans affects nothing in that situation

39

Anonymous #6 1d

gender is a construct and that’s a fundamental part of feminism

26

Anonymous #14 1d

nevermind you were right

26

Anonymous #65 1d

Those apps/sites are usually infiltrated by chasers/fetishizers and people who want to commit violent acts against trans people unfortunately

45

Anonymous #47 1d

LMFAO

19

Anonymous #65 1d

it’s not even about the love they may or may not find as trans women. trans women face disproportionate levels of violence from men for their identity, so advertising themselves as transgender to the thousands of people using these apps is a danger. she shouldn’t have to display it but she should disclose it to the person she matches with as soon as possible.

11

Anonymous #47 1d

So just a women?

-2

Anonymous miamorcito 1d

Hmmm ok that make sense them disclosing it sooner is probably the best thing for them.

3

Anonymous #65 1d

they are just women, yes. trans women are also just women. cis and trans are adjectives

24

Anonymous #61 1d

Dang that’s sad I never realized that.

28

Anonymous #65 1d

generally no, it sounds nice but you can’t reliably prove someone’s trans on a large scale so they always get filled with creeps

31

Anonymous #47 1d

Ok, because I always hear people argue about cis women and everything so I just want to know.

1

Anonymous #44 1d

bro I doubt you know your chromosomes. 99% of the US population has never been karyotyped.

25

Anonymous #47 1d

That makes sense too.

11

Anonymous #56 1d

I don’t think you know what these words mean, and I recommend not using them until you find out

14

Anonymous #47 1d

Well i have a 🍆 so i certainly know im XY

-6

Anonymous #47 1d

My girlfriend has a 🐱 so i certainly know she’s XX

-6

Anonymous #47 1d

Alright this is disingenuous A bungalow is different from a skyscraper, they’re both buildings A red bungalow is different from a blue bungalow, still both buildings. One of the above distinctions matters much more than the other when shopping for a home. You don’t take weighted categories and pretend they’re the same to make your argument.

0

Anonymous #67 1d

and you don’t claim something is weighted more without backing up your claim. so back it up.

14

Anonymous #33 1d

this. you can be predatory without going through life changing efforts. if one is to do it they will do it regardless. women can be predators too, bathrooms aren’t safe places.

25

Anonymous #8 1d

that’s not how omission of truth works btw

30

Anonymous #47 1d

Height and sexual makeup are not the same, even to you. You are much more likely to go up to a stranger and comment on their height than anything sexual. You would be much angrier if your kid was harassed for their gender or sex, than for their height. Height is readily apparent, gender or sex may not be.

7

Anonymous #44 1d

there’s XY women with vaginas and cis men born with vaginas. there’s also asymptomatic genetic chimera with both. there’s more to it than the the sexual binary that you treat like gospel.

19

Anonymous #10 1d

I know you’d think so, but the numbers say the opposite, informing them before has resulted in a lot more assaults than informing then after, there’s a reason it’s done

28

Anonymous #66 1d

It’s transphobic to not want to date trans ppl now…….

-1

Anonymous #67 1d

you’ve successfully explained how the two categories are generally different but you haven’t explained why one universally matters more than the other.

12

Anonymous #70 1d

Objectively speaking, yes.

6

Anonymous #47 1d

There isn’t a way to do that without collecting data. I’m not sure this particular topic has been researched, and you can easily reject analogies I use I could also say being a sexual predator universally matters more than having blue or green eyes and you’d say there’s no proof

0

Anonymous #21 1d

I think you mean after-hand i’ll see myself out

41

Anonymous #21 1d

Well at least meeting her was safe. It’s always better to meet someone unarmed

45

Anonymous #66 1d

They truly had a grasp on the situation. Unlike the girl

17

Anonymous #70 1d

if you’d date someone who said they never wanted sex but wouldn’t date them if you found out they were trans, that’d be transphobic. if you’d date someone who did want sex but not kids/couldnt have kids, but wouldn’t like them if you found out they were a trans person with high-verisimilitude bottom surgery, you’d be transphobic. the only reason that makes sense would be genitals/wanting bio kids, but if neither matters and you wouldn’t date them SOLELY bc theyre trans, you’re outing yourself.

28

Anonymous #65 1d

I never hear people argue abt cis women but yeah that’s what they are

8

Anonymous #67 1d

the height thing was the weakest example, but there’s significant, identifiable groups who care more about height than someone being trans. if someone says they can’t have kids, then theres effectively no difference to their partner whether or not they’re cis and sterile or trans with bottom surgery. in cases like that, height will (or should) matter to many more people than something intangible like being trans.

21

Anonymous #67 1d

also I wouldn’t say there’s no proof to that so idk why you said it

6

Anonymous #47 1d

For some people this is true, but certainly not most people. Even if they don’t want kids, most people have heterosexual preferences, and most trans people don’t have reconstructed sex organs.

1

Anonymous #18 1d

Early on yes, but for me in my relationships, early or not, I always make an effort to mention I want kids in the future, not in five years, but eventually, because when I’m dating someone, I don’t want to give them false ideas about not wanting kids when I do y’know, it’s one of those things I don’t feel the need to hold off on mentioning. Because I’m not talking about having kids with them specifically, but in general, does that make sense?

25

Anonymous #73 1d

yeah that makes sense and good on you for advocating for yourself

10

Anonymous #47 1d

You asked me to prove my earlier comment that being trans matters more to people than being tall, so I assumed you’d ask me to prove a slightly similar comment

1

Anonymous #67 1d

it’s also not anyone’s business what genitals you have unless you’re specifically looking to have sex

16

Anonymous #74 1d

can you explain why someone wouldn’t be attracted to any trans person

7

Anonymous miamorcito 1d

Please tell us, oh rational one, what the difference is between telling someone when talking through the app vs telling someone when texting off of the app or on an early date

10

Anonymous miamorcito 1d

pure vagueposting 😭 but ik what you mean, queen

11

Anonymous #47 1d

I dunno man probably the same reason why you wouldn’t be attracted to someone shorter than you are someone that is way taller than you or vise versa. I will say that sexuality is a lot deeper than whether someone I just tall or short but again some people just aren’t comfortable dating trans people. 🤷🏾‍♀️

13

Anonymous #74 1d

being trans is more intangible than being tall or short so it makes less sense to me why smth like the label “trans” can evoke or stifle attraction, do you mind explaining your pov

7

Anonymous #47 1d

True, but when dating, are people not looking to have sex?

4

Anonymous #67 1d

not always, many people specifically say they don’t want to have sex. beyond that tho, a lot of trans people have bottom surgery. that makes them effectively the same as someone who’s sterile. if they disclose that they can’t have bio kids, that shouldn’t affect attraction, no?

12

Anonymous #67 1d

being trans is an intangible thing that shouldn’t affect attraction on its own. it may affect someone’s fertility or ability to have sex, but if they can disclose the effects of being trans then it shouldn’t matter if they do or don’t disclose if they are trans

12

Anonymous #47 1d

Yes that still effects attraction

-1

Anonymous #47 1d

Yes it definitely matters if they disclose it. Not disclosing it is fucked up

-2

“I didn’t read this thread but this person’s an idiot bc I decided so” nobody asked you, and being trans isnt a “problem” or an insecurity, dumbass.

17

Anonymous #47 1d

What a fairy tail to live in

-6

Anonymous #56 1d

yeah you seem a bit separated from reality, I hope you get better soon ❤️‍🩹

20

Anonymous #47 1d

Well I personally never really understood the whole reasoning or processes of transitioning from one sex to another and at least for me that lack of understanding would seriously affect how I’d view a potential partner. And depending on where a person is within their transitioning they can be deemed as less attractive for some people. Not trying to be rude just stating the truth. There are people out there who are attracted to trans people, but that just isn’t me.

5

Anonymous #74 1d

I’m also an atheist and would loose attraction to someone who is super religious because they just isn’t my lifestyle

3

Anonymous #75 1d

Some people aren’t into that. “Early” on a date means the person has already cleared up valuable time. I don’t think it’s necessarily “rational” but it reflects the amount of respect one has for the other

8

Anonymous #18 1d

In all kinds of dating, information should be disclosed. Even children because some people view children as a huge part of their future. And nobody wants their time to go to waste.

6

Anonymous #69 1d

that’s very unfortunate. the justice system is also fucked as we know, you can be jailed for sexual assault if you don’t disclose that information which is wild as many child predators don’t even see jail time.

9

Anonymous #14 1d

“You guys should drop your norms and cater to 0.01% of the population”

-9

Anonymous #47 1d

Being the gender I was born as is separated from reality? What weird times we live in

5

Anonymous #74 1d

not understanding it is a valid reason if you’re worried you’re not prepared to have them as a partner, though I do recommend reading an article abt trans people if you can. I used to be like that but fell in love with someone I found out was trans, and learned more abt it out of curiosity + wanting to know if we were truly incompatible or not. also, no one would blame you for not being attracted to certain features. it’s more so about understanding those features aren’t inherent to being trans

17

Anonymous #47 1d

also the “read an article” thing isnt meant to say you’ll be attracted to every trans person afterwards lol, it’s just a general thing since knowing more abt others is always a cool experience

15

Anonymous #47 1d

I agree with you that in the event that a trans person presents fully as their preferred gender, people that don’t want kids will be attracted to them. But most people, a lot of them on this thread, don’t see it the same way. Not everyone likes silicone breasts or even BBLs, and having those things does affect attraction. It’s partly that most trans men and women have not had bottom surgery, but also that surgery can be off-putting https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9621289/

1

Anonymous #47 1d

Bro how? they are literally right… I get you guys are trying to be put on an equal basis as “cisgender” people but if I am attracted to a masculine presenting man with a penis and low and behold the guy I am talking to doesn’t have a penis ima be a little shocked ngl. Sex is really important for someone people…

12

Anonymous #74 1d

I don’t think it’s reasonable to expect someone to disclose all their POTENTIAL dealbreakers FIRST thing. Like if my first text on a dating app was “hey so just so you know I’m super messy, scared of intimacy, and I’m rude to waitstaff. Oh also I’m going to say I love you after the first date” that’s not expected of anyone else

14

Anonymous #76 1d

there’s about as many trans people as there are redheads, but you can keep making up numbers if it makes you happy

18

Anonymous #67 1d

I use the example of silicone and BBLs here to show that not everyone finds cosmetic surgery attractive, not that trans people usually have those surgeries.

1

Anonymous #61 1d

Comparison is off - saying you are a girl and hiding you’re trans is INTENTIONALLY misleading and lying. Having a condition or unattractive features when it was never mentioned is UNINTENTIONALLY misleading. The intent is absolutely taken into account when you look for a S/O; it shows respect and truthfulness. If that’s “transphobic” to you, the problem lies with you.

-1

Anonymous #74 1d

bottom surgery exists, also there’s many sex-related things you would never ask someone to plaster on their profile. and most of those things don’t put them at risk of hate crimes.

33

Anonymous #79 1d

in this day and age of bigotry if you can avoid violence you should do what you can to avoid it. we can all work towards being more accepting but it is only realistic to avoid those situations in the first place if you can.

3

Anonymous #61 1d

You can if you fucking want to but that is literally not the point dog. Being trans is different from being a regular man or woman because of the transitioning part. Your boob size, or you suffering from a genital condition is not a choice being trans is.

-11

Anonymous #77 1d

Forcing people to conform to letting trans individuals keep it hidden is inconsiderate for other peoples values. And that’s why phobias get enhanced towards the LGBTQ+ community. Love is love, and i’ve met a lot of ppl who are accepting of mine and other lifestyles, because they’re not being forced to be okay with it. Be respectful.

-4

Anonymous #10 1d

I don’t think we should victim blame trans people who are attacked. That being said, i don’t see how disclosing you’re trans a little bit into the conversation versus first thing affects physical safety.

8

Anonymous #47 1d

Cool? You don’t see me listing “not redhead” on my dating profile LMAO

6

Looks like I can’t dm you directly or anything, do you want me to send them here? Link embeds don’t work in comments but I’ll do my best

1

Anonymous #79 1d

My argument is the same, a little bit into the conversation is perfectly fine, doesn’t need to be the first thing they say, that would be unfair and unreasonable. that conversation should happen before a physical meeting though.

5

Anonymous #14 1d

Don’t be fucking dense. The categorization of cisgender is completely unnecessary if the terminology of “transgender” is already there. A woman is someone who is born a female at birth and a trans woman is someone who is born male at birth, end of story.

-8

Anonymous #77 1d

trans people shouldn’t be forced to put themselves at risk by conforming to other people’s desire to waste slightly less time. and there’s so many dealbreakers that aren’t disclosed on someone’s profile, and no one takes issue with that.

19

Anonymous #79 1d

by no means victim blaming, just people protecting themselves and being aware of your surroundings and who you are spending time with, the same thing us women are taught!! bad things will happen but we can also do our best to be vigilant about what we’re doing.

1

Anonymous #74 1d

waahhh waaaahhhhh

18

Anonymous #67 1d

the main issue isn’t that the majority of trans people have X or Y, it’s that people assume that EVERY trans person has X or Y, and this EVERY trans person has to disclose on their profile because they MUST be that way.

23

Anonymous #74 1d

trans people exist regardless of what words we throw on it, suck ya motha

13

Anonymous #40 1d

When you sign up for a dating app, you choose a gender - woman or man. That would be considered to most to be saying they’re cisgender when they’re not. I get you don’t see it that way, but most people don’t see trans women as “women”. That’s a can of worms that I don’t want to open, but it should be known. Not acknowledging that is incredibly facetious

0

Anonymous #47 1d

Right, but most people talk about it early on to set a tone for the relationship. There are people out there who keep stuff hidden about themselves to be toxic to who they get with, but I think if you are transgender, it is something that should be said somewhat early in the talking stage if they don’t disclose it anywhere. I’m not saying first date type of thing, but waiting to become OFFICIAL and then stating you’re trans seems insensitive to me because, again, people’s values are different.

1

Anonymous #32 1d

I am absolutely entitled to MY time. I don’t want a relationship with a trans person and I have every right to know if someone I going to potentially be involved with is trans. Tf?

4

Anonymous #47 1d

Nah they are trans women 🤷🏾‍♀️

-2

Anonymous bluesmiley 1d

Yeah, she has to hand it to them. Though I suppose she could be forgiven for not doing that

15

Anonymous #66 1d

JAIL😭

7

Anonymous #47 1d

A women is someone who was born female at birth. I have no issue with including the trans women experience into womanhood, but trans women are not biologically women.

4

Anonymous #57 1d

Cool, I don’t fucking care man. Don’t involve me in that shit. Do whatever the fuck you want to with your life but don’t involve me.

-3

Anonymous #16 1d

I really don’t think this should be a second date conversation, why would someone spend time and money on a date with someone who they’re just not going to be attracted to. It doesn’t have to be right off the bat but people are going to be way more upset if they don’t know before the first date. In fact, I’d say it’s dangerous for the trans person to wait that long bc the other person might have a violent reaction to it

15

Anonymous #47 1d

Noooooo nigga. They literally transitioned from male to female ergo trans womeeeennuuuuhhhhhh.

-3

Anonymous #74 1d

Woah there, I support trans rights too but no need to break out the slurs

10

Anonymous #14 1d

You’re fucking joking right.

-2

Anonymous #10 1d

oh I thought I was on my school’s forum lmao ignore me

4

Anonymous #81 1d

right their safety will always be more important than sparing a “potential” partner’s feelings. like this is life or death let’s be serious

19

Anonymous #47 1d

I dunno it seems like you’re getting upset at people for not want to date trans people and that is just a little ridiculous

1

Anonymous #30 1d

Not to be transphobic but “cis” is quite literally the default. Not many transgender people exist.

-3

Anonymous #74 1d

Not to be transphobic, but - *transphobia*

9

Anonymous #63 1d

exactly, like if it’s that big of a deal to someone too, as someone who’s trans, i don’t want to be with someone like that

22

Anonymous #76 1d

What’s unattractive to you isn’t unattractive to everyone. A lot of women prefer cut or uncut or a certain penis size, so should men be expected to describe their genitals in detail on their dating profiles or on the first date? Wouldn’t it be misleading for a woman to assume an American guy is cut only to find out later he’s not, and therefore not attractive to her?

4

Anonymous #66 1d

Bro that is actually fucking crazzzyy dog. Wdymmmm it’s transphobic to not want to date trans people WHAT 😭

0

Anonymous #74 1d

You don’t want to date trans people because you would find their genitals unattractive and expect them to be open about it so you can avoid the things you don’t like. So why wouldn’t it make sense for everyone to be open about what their genitals look like since not everyone’s into the same kinds of penises or vaginas? If we expect trans people to do it before or on the first date then everyone should

20

Anonymous #72 1d

For a lot of people, sex is a very important part of a relationship and bad sex has ruined many, many relationships. I think a lot of the time, people will feel intentionally misled if a trans person is talking to them for let’s say a couple of weeks then they find out after spending a lot of time with them. I think I’d personally be disappointed and like I wasted my time because I’m a cis woman and I just cannot touch another person’s vagina. I also value sex more than most people so it varies

1

Anonymous #47 1d

Well fuck it I guess I should go date some MAGA Christians too just to make sure I am not religiously intolerant…

-3

Anonymous #46 1d

See I agree. It’s none of my fucking business if it’s a platonic relationship, but a romantic one? Yeaaaahhh you gotta tell me.

1

Anonymous #74 1d

that’s not at all what’s being said, the reading comprehension is lacking severely. this conversation is typically transphobic talking points under the guise of having preference and integrity in dating. like as if any man has ever has integrity when it comes to dating and being forthcoming. just don’t date them and be quiet. the vast majority of ppl on apps are not even trans so what’s the problem 😭😭😭

18

Anonymous #47 1d

Bottom surgery exists but a lot of people want to have biological children with the person they fall in love with. Of course infertility exists but that’s not usually something you know right off the bat. And also trans people with bottom surgery are more likely to have problems having penetrative sex

1

Anonymous #47 1d

Uh yeah because if you are transgender and you don’t disclose that in a relationship you are lying. Lol. If I was a fucking felon and I go and date someone without telling them that I am a convicted felon I’d be lying.

-3

Anonymous #76 1d

This but unironically. We’re here to stay whether you like it or not and if you don’t, buzz off and make your own sorry space.

2

Anonymous #63 1d

My reading comprehension is just fine thank you. Don’t project your smoothless brain bullshit onto me you cunt. And you know what since we shouldn’t assume that everyone you come across is cisgender I think it’s perfectly logical to assume that people who are looking for love and intimacy are coming from the deepest forms of integrity. Unless you agreeing that there are social norms that we has a society adhere to and being trans is not one of them.

-4

Anonymous #47 1d

I think it’s more that people often want to know about the things that trans people have or have not changed. Being trans has a lot to do with genitals too, and people care a lot about those. So the likelihood that every trans person has something worth disclosing to other people is high.

4

Anonymous #74 1d

If someone doesn’t want to date you because you’re trans it is not the end the world. I don’t know why you guys are ripping your panties apart for the attention of people who have no interest in you. Let it go.

1

Anonymous #76 1d

When I clear up 2 hours of valuable scrolling time to go on a date with someone because they didn’t out themself as being part of an extremely hated group when they didn’t know me yet

8

Anonymous #63 1d

Eh disagree. Even if you are not dating to marry the other person still has a right to know.

-2

Anonymous #47 1d

girl no

-2

Anonymous #74 1d

not even a little! you?

11

exactly

9

Anonymous #74 1d

being trans isn’t political or a religion, it’s an inherent part of who you are. weird comparison

20

Anonymous #76 1d

there’s so many other dealbreakers where it’s considered normal to not disclose them until after some time, and those aren’t disclosed bc of privacy. trans people deserve privacy but more so deserve safety since it’s dangerous to disclose on their profile. if you care about dealbreakers and not outing trans people then why aren’t you addressing the other ones first?

8

no one is denying you the right to be whatever you want but people are entitled to their dating preferences. It’s like saying there’s an issue with someone not dating outside of their culture which is really not that deep

1

OH MY GOD I never said you shouldn’t be trans or you shouldn’t exist I just don’t wanna fucking date you! Get a grip. I’m a liberal myself but this is fucking ridiculous. If I don’t want to date a fucking woman does that mean I’m homophobic? Like are you actually fucking kidding me. I get you are a marginalized group. I really do, but someone stabbing you for being trans had no interest in dating YOU anyways.

-1

Anonymous #74 1d

there’s no such thing as a “biological woman” since gender and sex are two different things. you don’t find out someone’s sex before calling them a woman, unless you’re a creep.

15

Anonymous #86 1d

what are you even responding to

10

Anonymous #74 1d

As a black woman you don’t see me screaming and throwing my period blood at racist white men who don’t wanna fuck me.

-3

Please place the item in the bagging area, each item must be placed in the bagging area

2

Anonymous #67 1d

sure, but most people here aren’t saying “hey if you’re trans you might have a reason to disclose that,” it’s “you must ALWAYS disclose you’re trans” and that’s where the problem lies. not every trans person needs to disclose it in every circumstance.

26

Anonymous #74 1d

me when I make up shit to get mad at

17

Anonymous #74 1d

>If I don’t want to date a fucking woman, does that mean I’m homophobic? Objectively speaking, yes. You’re refusing to connect with someone on the basis of something they can’t help. Also, liberals are not immune to ignorance. You would do well to better yourself and grow more tolerant. There will come a time when such bigotry is met with far more than just harsh criticism

8

Anonymous #74 1d

millions of trans people exist

7

Anonymous #74 1d

do you know what lying is because it seems like you don’t

10

Anonymous #47 1d

Hey hey now- last time I checked people also align their political and religious beliefs as an inherent part of their identity. Perfectly reasonable comparison. Matter of fact your religious and political identity is influenced by your life experiences which is a part of who you are.

1

Anonymous #74 1d

also how tf is being trans anywhere similar to being a felon hello?

19

Anonymous #82 1d

if a trans person disclosed that they can’t have children then what’s the problem

11

Anonymous #82 1d

also do you have evidence of the latter because I’ve never heard that /gen

4

Anonymous #56 1d

that sure is one way to interpret this if you’re separated from reality

13

it has a much wider variation for what it means to someone. being trans can be a huge part of someone’s life or have almost no bearing on them. some people are very involved in community while others aren’t. it also has almost no inherent values or rules tied to it like Christianity or being MAGA. so it’s still a strange comparison.

9

Anonymous #74 1d

people can convert to other faiths or switch political alignments. no one starts or stops being trans, they simply realize they are/aren’t. that’s the difference between inherent and not inherent. something not inherent can (and often will) matter more to someone than inherent parts of them. most people find their job more central to their identity than if they’re left-/right-handed.

18

Anonymous #18 1d

you absolutely should?? if someone knows they want kids and they meet someone who can’t have kids, it would be a waste of both people’s time

1

Anonymous #32 1d

Im entitled to my time tf

-1

nobody asked you about your shit opinion

9

no wonder you were being vague, you just wanted to disagree without having anything to back it up 😭😭😭

12

Anonymous #75 23h

the difference is that advertising yourself as transgender, especially as a transgender women, opens yourself to chasers and malicious individuals who may try to harm you for your gender identity. transgender women face disproportionate violence because of this. if they simply inform those who they match with instead, the other person can either accept or reject instead of being someone who wants to do harm to her.

3

Anonymous #47 23h

i don’t know what this mean

1

Anonymous #76 23h

no, i mean as soon as they match. not during a date in person. that would defeat the security/safety aspect.

1

Anonymous #75 23h

i also never said on the date. i said within the app after matching.

1

Anonymous #11 23h

Nope. It’s never okay to not disclose the fact that you are trans

12

Anonymous #92 23h

if you think he’s not a real man then he wouldn’t want to be friends with you.

16

Anonymous #47 23h

By real I mean biological. If you are a trans man then you simply can’t make a woman pregnant. And that is something you need to disclose before leading someone on

0

Anonymous #92 23h

there’s no such thing as a biological man or woman, sex is different from gender. in any case, your original point is fine as long as you don’t demand every trans person to put it on their profile

11

Anonymous #47 23h

There is such a thing as a biological man or woman…. If you have XX chromosomes you are a woman. If your chromosomes are XY then you are a male. You can present as a woman and identify as a woman but if your chromosomes are XY then you are biologically a man

-1

Anonymous #47 23h

this is the most braindead thing i’ve ever heard. gender AND SEX are different but biology is an objective concept. it’s literally science. a biological man has all of its original parts and a bio woman has a vagina and a uterus.

-2

Anonymous #47 23h

gender is a social construct but sex IS BIOLOGY. i truly hope you don’t plan to ever work in healthcare or anything science related if u don’t believe we are humans with biological parts regardless of what we identify as

1

Anonymous #47 23h

And I’m not saying they have to put the fact that they’re trans in their profile, but once you’ve had a conversation or two and see that the person may be interested in pursuing something, just say “hey I just wanted to let you know that I am trans, is that something you are comfortable with?”

-1

Anonymous #47 23h

and no this isn’t transphobic before ur dumbass tries to call me that. trans people and cis people are different. someone who is transitioning is actively changing their identity and in some cases, paying to change their biology as well (genital reformation and hormone blockers). a cis person is just someone who identifies with the sex they were assigned to at birth and has all of their biological parts intact

1

Anonymous #68 23h

Exactly. You can’t change your biology. If you were born with XY chromosomes then you will forever be biologically male. Doesn’t matter how much surgery and hormone treatment you get, biologically you are still a man

-4

Anonymous #92 23h

Yall are acting like trans people are lying for months claiming they’re cis then jumping out and saying surprise when that simply does not happen 💀 you are quite literally spreading transphobic propaganda made up to fuel a culture war

11

you’re telling me to touch grass while spewing blatant TERF/transmisogynistic rhetoric 😭✋ I have a reason to be here since I have people I care about who are at risk because of some of the shit people here believe. you’re here because you want to hate on strangers.

5

Anonymous #78 23h

the fuck r u talking about

-3

Anonymous #92 23h

I’ve said it four times by now but 99% of the US population doesn’t know their chromosomes since that’s now how assigned sex works

14

Anonymous #78 23h

The OG said that it’s not cool to not say you’re trans after you’ve already talked for a while…. Clearly it happens and that’s what I’m commenting on. If you’re trans and we match on an app and we have a convo and then you let me know you’re trans imma be like cool, personally I wouldn’t date you because I’m not into that but we can be friends and I wish you the best

-1

Please remember to be respectful.

8

Anonymous #68 23h

i don’t wanna hear from anyone except 47. i wanna hear how it’s impossible to be a biological woman or man apparently

1

Anonymous #47 23h

Each item must be placed in the bagging area

4

Anonymous #92 23h

I recommend educating yourself on trans people before claiming you’d be friends with them, bc assuming you know more abt them than they do is the opposite of friendly.

20

While trans women can’t actually bleed, HRT can cause hormonal cycles and muscle cramping very similar to those of a standard period I didn’t know that at first either! But biology is interesting like that

15

Anonymous #47 23h

Not sure what US you’re living in, but where I’m from people know whether or not they were born female or male and therefore know their chromosomes, it is extraordinarily simple

-4

Anonymous #68 23h

I’m a biomedical engineer and can do basic research! also wtf do you mean I don’t believe that “we’re humans with biological parts,” you’re being vague as fuck since you have no idea what you’re talking about lmao

12

Anonymous #92 23h

So if there was technology that could change XY to XX you’d be okay with it or would you still be bigoted?

14

Anonymous #47 23h

When did I say I know about them?? Plus I have multiple trans friends, they know that they can’t have kids in a traditional way and that biologically they are still male even though they transitioned to female…. They’re not brainless

-2

Anonymous #92 23h

Again each item needs to be placed in the bagging area

11

Anonymous #85 23h

Calling me bigoted is pretty funny. But if somehow there was a way to change chromosomes (which would be pretty much impossible) and there was a way to make it that they can have kids in the gender they chose then I would absolutely marry a trans person

-3

Anonymous #92 23h

They said it wasn’t mentioned until later in the conversation meaning they JUST started talking so no that doesn’t happen. Nowhere did they say they had been talking “for a while” because no trans person is waiting weeks to months to tell a potential partner they’re trans. The idea that it happens at all is just transphobic propaganda spread online

11

Anonymous #47 23h

Period

13

Anonymous #92 22h

do you genuinely believe that doctors karyotype every baby to determine their chromosomes for assigned sex? I’ve said it multiple times but they measure the length of your natal genitalia and assign make if longer than a certain amount and female of shorter. they acknowledge it’s a guess and that it’s entirely separated from chromosomes and karyotypes. I’m glad I’m the one in the medical field and not you if you refuse to do anything other than assume you’re right💀

10

Anonymous #78 22h

And I never said that they wait months before saying the truth. I simply said that once you guys have had a couple conversations and you know that the other person is interested in pursuing more, that then you need to tell them and make sure they are comfortable with it. I’m not spreading transphobic propaganda. I was just saying that if someone was interested in more then you need to tell them the truth

-2

Anonymous #92 22h

And you decide you want to start a family with him before you even meet up with him first? Also like thats where you have the conversation about kids early then… he can leave without having to disclose he’s trans to someone who doesn’t think hes a real man

4

Anonymous #47 22h

While there are a some cases of people being born intersex or with strange chromosome combinations, the vast vast majority of people have chromosomes that match with the genitalia they were born with. And that is a perfectly good way to determine chromosomes because there are very few exceptions. And hunny I’m in the medical field and so is my whole family. We actually know what we are talking about though

-2

Anonymous #58 22h

I would only date someone with the intention of marrying them and started a family with them… that’s what dating is supposed to be

-1

Anonymous #39 22h

i feel bad that you’re getting so much hate. for what it’s worth, i completely agree with you and understand what you are saying.

0

Anonymous #92 22h

It’s been said somewhere else here too but there’s at least 5 primary sex identifiers. We do not assign sex based on chromosomes and the vast majority of people don’t know their chromosomes. Trans people going through hrt and srs are “biologically” more in line with what they’re transitioning to than what they’re transitioning from. Hormones and presentation are our largest sex determinants. If you want to classify sex with chromosomes you need to accept dozens of different sexes

14

Anonymous #92 22h

if you’re in the medical field then you should realize how dangerous it is to assume traits about your patients without confirmation. which is quite literally what you’re doing. you said you KNOW your chromosomes when you DON’T. and, since you clearly don’t know, the general medical criteria for “intersex” has to do with identifiable physical/developmental traits, not chromosomes. there’s asymptomatic people with alternate chromosomes who live their whole lives and never know.

12

Anonymous #92 22h

If you’re falling in love with and trying to start a family with someone within a few conversations then that’s your problem not trans people’s. Again nobody is getting far enough to fall in love with and trying to start a family with someone without disclosing that they’re trans

14

Anonymous #47 22h

wow nice one

1

Anonymous #94 22h

ik you probs didn’t read the other threads (since there’s many) but I recommend looking into what it means to be trans and the difference between sex & gender, as there is no such thing as a “biological man/woman.”

23

Anonymous #78 22h

yeah, most people don’t share if they’re infertile from the get-go either, but for some reason people have a hard-on to pressure trans people into endangering themselves while ignoring analogous and less-risky situations.

9

Anonymous #78 22h

Or maybe I only want to date people who I can see myself loving and having a future with. I’m not going to date someone just because the sex is good even though we’re totally different people

-1

Anonymous #92 22h

Literally who said that bro 💀 you’re really making up shit to be mad about now. The conversation you started is somehow getting to the point of being in love with a person without knowing they’re trans not that trans people are absolutely cracked at sex

11

Anonymous #74 22h

uh..no they actually don’t! you’re not entitled to someone’s private info just cause you’re interested in them

8

Anonymous #68 22h

oh, didn’t see your last comment lol. sex (male/female/intersex) is bimodal and has physical/developmental indicators. most people consider sex assigned at birth (ASAB) to be someone’s sex. on the other hand, gender (man/woman/non-binary for most western societies) is a social construct and varies wildly from culture to culture—dozens of which have had rich histories with three or more genders. it is used in social situations, and you perceive it through someone’s looks & presentation.

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Anonymous #92 22h

bro we don’t care about your lame love life just leave trans people alone cs i promise no trans person is gone be looking for YOU anyway 😭

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Anonymous #47 22h

*this is a VERY boiled-down and oversimplified explanation of a highly-nuanced topic. if you genuinely want to know more rather than arguing based on your preconceptions, I recommend looking into bimodal sex & gender as a construct. I doubt that will happen but wouldn’t mind a pleasant surprise.

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Anonymous #50 22h

my bad I always forget

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Anonymous #90 22h

They can always adopt kids, or use a gamete donor or surrogate! Wanting kids and being unable to physically have kids aren't mutually exclusive!

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Anonymous #82 21h

Then maybe you should disclose your preference and that sex is very important to you. I just don’t think the other person should have to predict your personal desires. You talking to a person for a while and being ultimately disappointed by the sex can happen regardless of whether they’re trans, and bottom surgery is also a thing that exists.

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Anonymous #72 21h

thank you for saying this, people really gotta learn to advocate for themselves. there’s so many reasons why someone wouldn’t want or can’t/shouldn’t have sex besides just being trans. if you want to know if you’re sexually compatible early on, it’s on YOU to ask.

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Anonymous #47 21h

Exactlyyyy

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Anonymous #74 21h

I’ve yet to see a trans person do this dude u have to realize you just created a strawman.

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Anonymous #74 21h

Generally. Generally. Trans people move the fuck on when someone doesn’t wanna fuck us. But cis people seem to never be able to move on from the fact they (temporarily) wanted to fuck us. And that’s scary because some of those cis people will kill you.

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Anonymous #19 21h

Some women look like women 🤯 genius

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Anonymous miamorcito 20h

If they get to know the person first before coming out that allows them to get a sense of if coming out to that specific person is safe. Whereas if they did it to whomever they matched with there’s still the risk of harm

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Anonymous #75 20h

what are you talking about

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Anonymous #10 17h

who in university is going out to $150 tinder dates… I’m in the wrong state. men where I live are so hu obsessed they won’t even pay for a bagel

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Anonymous #16 17h

why not before the first date? If they are the type to not even consider dating a trans person u don’t want to waste time on it anyways

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Anonymous #47 16h

cmon people CAN have preferences… but honestly, sure. If I were looking for an asexual relationship and the person fits my personality, values, chemistry, and attractiveness criteria so well that I’ve never clocked them after multiple dates, and checks all the other boxes too… I guess we’re getting married.

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Anonymous zesty.lemon 16h

i feel u… 😓that’s why I feel like it’s better to get it out of the way soon, no? maybe as a match note.

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Anonymous #66 16h

not wanting to date a woman is NOT the definition of homophobia oh my god. also, please remember we have to stick together against someone who would happily kill ALL of us, this is not the time for liberal infighting…

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Anonymous #74 7h

Or to prove some point that “being transgender is not a big deal or shouldn’t be a big deal” is stupid. Again, we are talking about someone you are planing to be romantically involved with here. I’m NOT saying you have to go up to strangers and say “Hi my name is so and so and I am trans!” I am not saying that but what I am saying is that if you are talking to someone romantically and you are trans, they should know. Period end of discussion.

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Anonymous #74 7h

Also the bitch who called me homophobic for not wanting to date women even though I’m heterosexual was dumb as fuck like HELLO? Anyways…

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Anonymous #78 7h

Ohhh my gosh bruh we are just asking that you tell us that your are trans if we are going to date you gng like oh my gosh. It is not that hard

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Anonymous #47 7h

Yeah we know gender is a social construct gang we are not stupid, but that social construct is used to help identify whether someone is male or female. No? Unless you want to start pulling everyone fucking pants down to look at their genitalia since you want to eradicate the whole idea and structure of gender. (Fine by me). I appreciate your enthusiasm for wanting to question social normalcy and fight the system. I really do, it show signs of high intellect, but children are dying Kim.

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Anonymous #74 7h

Just tell a mf you are trans if you’re gonna date them and move on.

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Anonymous #74 6h

trans people die from targeted hate crimes, and telling strangers they’re trans too early can put them at unnecessary risk. trans people are dying, Kim. this is an important discussion. also, the comment you’re referencing was a direct response to someone’s question. educating p theres on this topic is part of how we stop ignorance and hate for minorities. if you believe there’s better topics for discussion, then you can move on and make a different post about them.

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Anonymous #74 6h

also, it’s normal for trans people to share they’re trans after talking with someone they might have sex with. that’s pretty normal, I agree.

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Anonymous #11 1h

maybe they shouldn’t have an identity crisis related to their gender when their assigned a dick or a pussy at birth

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Anonymous #106 1h

They’re*

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Anonymous #106 1h

no one asked you

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Anonymous #98 23m

The reason why many trans ppl don’t disclose^

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Anonymous #10 11m

I’ve disclosed it to the point I even have how long I’ve been on HRT and surgery status on my profile. I still do, but I feel like the safest bet is to disclose in DMs. I’ve dealt w trans chasers, a man who tried to lock me in his basement, a hook up that didn’t read my profile and kicked me out while I still had her juices on my face, like there’s no break. I can’t tell if their enthusiasm after reading my profile is for just sex, a fetish, or imminent danger. 🤷‍♂️

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