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i know i’m having a really bad episode of daddy issues when the wikipedia page for Kate Bush - Cloudbusting makes me cry a little
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Anonymous 11w

Wait are you ok?

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Anonymous replying to -> #1 11w

nah, my life is caving in on me

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 11w

Wait can you dm me

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Anonymous replying to -> #1 11w

why?

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 11w

Just wanted to offer to be supportive if you need someone to talk to

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Anonymous replying to -> #1 10w

like, it’s a thoughtful enough gesture, but if you wanna help others then you really ought to *offer* support (“my DMs are open if you wanna talk about it”, for example) rather than *asking* people in distress to message you—at least when you’re a total stranger and the OP has DMs switched off

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 10w

That’s true I’ve done that before, it’s just in my personal experience it’s worked better if they dmed me and then said I’m here if you need support and left it up to them. Bc sometimes at least for me dming someone feels like a barrier where they might want to talk but are hesitant to be the one to reach out. But I’ll stop doing that in the future

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Anonymous replying to -> #1 10w

ive had people tell me that they wanted to talk but were hesitant to reach out so they were glad I asked them to dm bc it made it easier. So that’s why I said that but I could be wrong

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Anonymous replying to -> #1 10w

ah, i hear what you’re saying… and your heart’s definitely in the right place, like i figured. i guess primarily it rubbed me the wrong way just because there’s a problem on here with men going “sex pest” mode in DMs after striking up chats that seem innocent at first

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 10w

That makes sense, I can see how it came across that way even though I definitely have good intentions people can suck. I’m sorry about this

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Anonymous replying to -> #1 10w

And thanks for trying to understand my pov

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Anonymous replying to -> #1 10w

so, personally, my guard’s up when someone asks for a DM while i’m feeling vulnerable. whereas a “feel free to DM me if you need to vent” type of framing comes across as a friendly offer because there’s no sense of pressure behind it. that’s just me though, i could be wrong too, so i hope i didn’t come across as hostile or anything

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Anonymous replying to -> #1 10w

no worries, thanks for hearing me out + i appreciate you explaining your own thoughts on the subject too 🫡

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 10w

That does make sense and that’s why a lot of the time I say that and I used to always only say feel free and I dm. It’s only recently that I ever asked to dm but i definitely can stop. And you don’t seem hostile you’ve explained your opinion and listened to mine

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 10w

Of course, thanks for understanding and caring about my perspective

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 10w

No pressure at all, but my offer stands and my dms are always open if you want to talk

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Anonymous replying to -> #1 10w

And I’m sorry for pressuring you with my earlier comments and I hope you’re okay

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Anonymous replying to -> #1 10w

nah you don’t gotta be sorry or anything, no hard feelings ✌️

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 10w

I appreciate that but it is something I should still apologize for yk

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Anonymous replying to -> #1 10w

it’s really nbd, but i respect that type of mindset. so yeah, apology accepted, and ultimately no worries either way

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 10w

I hope you have a great day and everything gets better for you

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