
Playing devils advocate- You told one guy what you wanted and he didn’t listen… that makes him bad that night, not men bad. And ‘he didn’t listen’ can just as easily mean he wasn’t into it as it means he’s selfish. You picked the version where it’s his fault. You don’t actually know which it was.
That’s literally my point. He’s there for his own release, same as you’re there for yours. You just described him doing to you exactly what you’d be doing to him…showing up for the finish and not fussed about the other person. That’s not ‘men,’ that’s two people who used each other. It only feels one-sided because you’re telling it
But that’s the symmetry I was pointing at … if you’re only there for the release, he’s an object to you that night too. ‘No wants or desires’ cuts both ways: you weren’t asking about his either. You’ve made yourself the one with feelings and him the object, but by your own account you both showed up for the same thing. Can’t claim the mutual bit and then keep the victim seat.
You're rewriting the story to fit your narrative lmao. I walk into it thinking it will be a mutual using of eachother, and then i am used and am trying not to cry so they can finish without it hurting because i am literally not aroused because they do no foreplay. In what world am i using the men in that scenario. This has happened to me 7/10 times ive had sex btw
I’m not doubting you…. that sounds like a genuinely bad experience. But that’s actually my whole point. If it keeps happening, the real problem is the specific stuff: no foreplay, not paying attention, not caring if you’re into it. That’s a certain kind of guy(s)… not ‘men’ as a whole. Loads of men do foreplay and check in. So blame the trait, not the gender. That way you know exactly what to avoid next time. ‘Men’ is too broad… it lumps in the good ones with the selfish ones.