Confessions on Sidechat | I was taken advantage of while drunk a few years ago, told my gf about it right after about what happened and she comforted me and everything. But why do I still feel guilty about it like it was my fault and like a gross pos. I’m a built guy, and

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Confessions 4w

I was taken advantage of while drunk a few years ago, told my gf about it right after about what happened and she comforted me and everything. But why do I still feel guilty about it like it was my fault and like a gross pos. I’m a built guy, and

Anonymous 4w

I need you to hear this clearly: you were taken advantage of. You were the victim. You did nothing wrong.

Anonymous 4w

I should have been able to push them off of me and just stop it or do anything but I just kinda sat there. I hate myself for it. I wish I could erase my memory or just block it out but it keeps coming back almost every other day. And I see her walking on campus past me too like three times a week and I cross to the other side of the street and sidewalk to keep my distance. I just needed to get this out of my head, it’s seriously messing with me atp

Anonymous 4w

This is so horrible I’m sorry you had to experience that. And the double standards about size or strength are not applicable, you’re still a victim and what you feel is valid and true. I would see about talking to a professional so you can get tools to move past it and heal

Anonymous 4w

I’m so sorry that happened to you :( I hope you heal someday

Anonymous 4w

you cheated and you’re trying to turn yourself into a victim instead of facing your guilty conscience.

Anonymous

#1 4w

Being drunk removes your ability to fully consent and react the way you normally would. Freezing is an incredibly common trauma response — it’s not weakness, and it’s not a choice. Your body was overwhelmed and went into survival mode. The fact that you’re strong or “built” has nothing to do with it. Assault isn’t about strength; it’s about someone ignoring boundaries and taking advantage of vulnerability.

Anonymous

#1 4w

The guilt you’re feeling doesn’t mean you’re guilty. It means your brain is trying to process something that violated you. That “I should have done more” voice is trauma talking, not truth. You didn’t invite it. You didn’t deserve it. You weren’t supposed to have to fight someone off in that state.

Anonymous

#1 4w

And crossing the street when you see her? That’s not weakness either. That’s your body protecting itself from a trigger. The memories coming back, the shame, the self-blame — those are common after something like this. They don’t mean you’re gross. They mean you’re hurting.

Anonymous

#1 4w

I’m so sorry this happened to you. You didn’t fail. Someone failed you. If this is coming back almost every other day and really messing with you, it might help to talk to a therapist who works with trauma. You don’t have to carry this alone, and you don’t have to keep reliving it without support.

Anonymous

#1 4w

But please — don’t hate yourself for surviving something you didn’t choose. You are not disgusting. You are not weak. You were violated, and that is not your fault.