ppl will say you have do these self improvement things to find the partner for you but i feel like you aren't for me if i had to change my physical appearance to get you to me. that doesn't make any sense. my ideal partner wouldn't be unattracted to me in what is presumably my natural state.

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Are physical changes the only thing or are there certain personality ticks of yours you’d also be willing to unchange?

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like think about it, if they decide to pursue me when i'm 120 lbs and we fall in love and get married, it implies that this person would not have wanted me if i were like 200lbs. it feels weird to have to change to be loved. idk does anyone else get what im saying? like it's fine to say you have to change to be attractive, that makes 100% sense. but MY ideal partner would want me as i currently look too.

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this is valid. they should take you as you are, however, if you have negative personality traits or habits that make it a deal breaker and you genuinely want to make it work with this person, it’s worth reassessing yourself.

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You get better for yourself not for someone else. But no one is obligated to love someone if it doesn’t align with their morals/beliefs. If you don’t want to take care of your health and lose weight (to use your example) it shows a lot about your personality. It tells me how determined and dedicated you are, it shows me how much health matters to you.

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