Confessions on Sidechat | hot take apparently but i don’t get trans dudes who identify as lesbian… like i genuinely just think they don’t wanna be labeled as straight men..

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Confessions 1d

hot take apparently but i don’t get trans dudes who identify as lesbian… like i genuinely just think they don’t wanna be labeled as straight men..

Anonymous 1d

the attraction inherently is queer for those individuals; they've often spent years to decades as lesbians; being genderqueer is fundamentally different than being a cishet man

Anonymous 1d

no fr as a trans man i don’t get it at all labeling yourself as a lesbian is not only inaccurate but also pushes the idea that trans men aren’t truly men

Anonymous 1d

I know some people that consider themselves lesbian care more about someone understanding what it’s like to live as a woman than identity, so some people who call themselves lesbians are sometimes open to dating trans men because they were treated as girls when they were younger. I don’t know why trans men would call themselves lesbians other than how I know some queer women refer to a specific type of straight man as lesbian

Anonymous 1d

All my trans girl friends don’t understand that shit at all

Anonymous

#2 1d

i was literally thinking this. like it seems a little self-invalidating to use a label reserved for women if you’re not a woman

Anonymous

#4 1d

Like if a straight dude seems to attract queer women I’ve heard them jokingly referred to as a lesbian

Anonymous

#4 1d

I understand how this is a weird way to talk about it, I don’t personally agree with it I’m just trying to reason through why they would

Anonymous

#5 1d

i have a gf and i still refer to the sex we have as gay sex because we both have vaginas and i almost exclusively date women but i wouldn’t use the label lesbian for myself as im a man and in this context i believe op was referring to binary trans people as genderqueer is a nonbinary identity that would be a label that could fit under the lesbian umbrella

Anonymous

#2 1d

most, if not all, trans men lesbians i've seen have identified as genderqueer and/or non binary. i'm not a trans man lesbian, but i call myself a genderqueer man and not non binary, as i feel like they're separate and i experience my gender in an inherently queer way while still being fully a man. i don't see why we'd care if someone feels fully a trans man and still feels like their relationship is sapphic or lesbian, whether he identifies as binary or not

Anonymous

#2 1d

counterpoint: I am also a trans man who is attracted to women & does not ID as a lesbian, but I *do* get it, and I’m secure enough in my identity to recognize that the way other people choose to self-describe has no bearing on the validity of my own gender

Anonymous

#2 1d

personally, I was out as a “queer girl” starting at the age of ~11. to this day the majority of my social circle is queer women, and I really do not feel much kinship with cishet men when I date women, they are not having the experience of dating a cishet man—they are dating a man who experienced misogyny firsthand all throughout his formative years. still a man, but a man who is also capable of having genuine cultural ties to sapphic community

Anonymous

#2 1d

that being the case, it makes sense why some (not all, obviously) trans men with similar backgrounds may not be willing to fully dispose of the sapphic component to their identity Or their transmasculinity, especially given the wealth of historical precedent for transmasculine presence in lesbian communities ultimately, even if you still “don’t get it”, you need to not take other people’s sexual orientations as a personal insult

Anonymous

#2 1d

wait. back up. so you think lesbian-identified trans men are guilty of “pushing the idea that trans men aren’t truly men”… yet you are also a trans man who calls it “gay sex” when you have sex with a woman? brother you got a whole lot of shit left to unpack