Chronic Illness on Sidechat | I hate having an invisible disability cuz yes, I am here and to you I look fine, but I feel like crap and if I push myself it’ll just be worse. The worst part is I start believing that I’m making it up.

Sidechat

Download

Join communities on Sidechat Download

Chronic Illness 5w

I hate having an invisible disability cuz yes, I am here and to you I look fine, but I feel like crap and if I push myself it’ll just be worse. The worst part is I start believing that I’m making it up.

153

Anonymous 5w

real af I've started telling people on my good days I'm cosplaying as abled and i think that's helped people understand. maybe we should make merch

Anonymous 5w

Sometimes I just wish there was something people could see, including me, so they’d understand. But then I’m worried that people would limit my opportunities.

Anonymous 5w

this!!! i have crohn’s and once i was having some weird symptoms. everyone (and doctors) told me i was completely fine, drink more water, try miralax etc. turns out i had a bowel stricture for 6 months 😀 not seeing anything change, except the bags under my eyes growing and my face becoming gaunt, was insane, and i felt like i was losing it bc of an illness i couldn’t prove i had

Anonymous 5w

Honestly part of the reason why I might start using a mobility aid (aside from the fact that i kinda need to anyway)

Anonymous 5w

I’ve had a few coworkers make comments about how I would be good at doing xyz thing and I’ve had to tell them “no, I’m literally disabled and if I do that I will be severely injured and/or dead”

Anonymous 5w

It’s so funny to me because I have a genetic condition so like I know I’m not faking because I can’t fake a genetic test but I find myself feeling like I’m being really dramatic or it’s in my head when I’m feeling well and then I’ll have a day where my symptoms are really bad and it reminds me that no it’s not in my head 😭

Anonymous 5w

I’ve been describing it as it feels like having the flu but always. Bcos I was healthy before I developed autoimmune disease and I remember what the flu was like for my healthy body. And that’s this but always

Anonymous 5w

I feel complicated about the visible vs invisible binary. I think mine would be an “invisible” disability but with the premature aging, sunken eyes, skin issues, slightly atypical gait & side effects from longterm dependence on immunosuppressants, it sure is “visible” enough for strangers to be ableist towards me

Anonymous

#6 5w

They all said “really? You think so?” And I was like “yes, I’ve had these conditions for most of my life I know how my body and mind will react”

Anonymous

#8 5w

It’s effectively ableist because the differences are caused by your disability, but they aren’t intentionally being ableist. They’re mistreating you because you’re outside the beauty standard, not because they *know* you’re disabled. Similar w autism - we’re mistreated bcos we’re weird a lot, but not bcos they hate the disability explicitly. So you’re still not necessarily getting the help you need, but you are getting the hate

Anonymous

#8 5w

It’s also not a binary tbh. Similar with being white-passing or lightskin depends on who’s looking at you

Anonymous

#7 5w

totally, I know they aren’t consciously registering me as a disabled person, it’s just frustrating to have people disrespect me over markers of illness and then be surprised when I say I’m disabled. I wish people would stay critical of their own judgments and think about *why* a person may “look weird” or w/e, you know

Anonymous

#7 5w

and functionally I agree that it’s not a binary, but I feel like the wording of “visible or invisible” attempts to Pose a binary where in reality it’s not quite that simple. that’s part of what I mean about feeling complicated about it

Anonymous 5w

maybe I’m being overly pedantic for autism reasons but tbh in that case I don’t really understand why we keep using the term. I also worry there’s a baked-in presumption that people whose disability is *more* visible must be taken seriously and afforded more accommodations, when that’s def not always necessarily the case

Anonymous 5w

but then last time I tried to bring this up in an open-ended fashion for discussion on here I got downvoted to smithereens and not a single person replied except for one “you’re so weird for this” remark 💀

Anonymous 5w

genuinely good to know that at least one other chronically ill person on here shares my perspective 🫡 based on how others reacted in the past I felt like I must be missing something and was just being an asshole without realizing

Anonymous

#8 5w

I totally understand your stance. I usually use the term “invisible” because, unless I’m actively having an episode or flare up, people won’t be able to see my issues and expect me to be able to do things I cannot or judge me for faking illness. But I totally see the point that people with “visible” disabilities still face tons of discrimination. I feel like there is some difference in discrimination experience but the disabled community is so diverse and complex that these terms aren’t perfect

Anonymous 5w

I also mean that like, when an ex of mine needed to use a cane they weren’t taken any more seriously based on that “visibility”. they still had doctors shrug them off, still weren’t offered a seat on the bus when it was so crowded they were forced to stand, still weren’t able to get on SSI without having to get a lawyer & go to trial over being denied. so that kind of opened my eyes re: the way being more-explicitly Visible doesn’t necessarily equate to being afforded more accommodation

Anonymous

#8 5w

Oof yeah, that sucks. There are definitely still some awful issues for people who have more visible disabilities.