Anonymous #2 1w

What are some things I could say?

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Anonymous OP 1w

hmm I always appreciate a thoughtful compliment, something like I like your makeup or I like your outfit! or if you’re at a bookstore and you happen to see what kind of books she’s looking at, maybe making conversation about that?

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Anonymous OP 1w

Ask her for book recommendations and go from there

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Anonymous #4 1w

If you don’t have issues talking to strangers in public, then I’d investigate what feels so scary about talking to women. I understand the feeling of not wanting to be seen as creepy or off putting. That’s a major hurdle I still face and made dudes our age have to overcome from years of messaging like “leave her alone.” Women have made it abundantly clear recently that that was an over correction, and that as long as you have an ounce of reading the room well, there is no issue

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Anonymous #4 1w

For example. Don’t approach on the street, super especially at night. Dont corner her and prevent an “escape”. Make sure the place is public and well lit (like a bookstore) and you’re good. This setting, along with what other comments have said about unwanted persistence, you’re fine

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Anonymous #4 1w

Back to an earlier point about confidence, what could be the real underlying issue is the fear of rejection. And that a woman telling you no would say something wrong or negative about your character. Assuming you didnt break an earlier room-reading rule, you have to respect that decision is about HER and nothing to do with you. She could not be interested, partnered up, gay, literally whatever, and all of them speak to her, not you.

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Anonymous #4 1w

as a woman i agree with everything said here! this is all absolutely correct!!

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Anonymous #2 1w

Another women here and also agree, super great points. Even j observing sm she’s looking at like “that’s a cool cover,” or “is that author any good?” And j gauge if she’s open to a convo and chats or gives a very short answer/turns away

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Anonymous #4 1w

WAIT I HAVE MORE TO SAY 😭 Just a little more context about me, so it doesn’t seem like random stranger giving advice I’ve “shot my shot” with strangers maybe like 4 ish times(?). None of them worked out, and the rejection you feel when they say no stings for sure. But after I did them, I felt proud, I became stronger, and the world kept spinning

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Anonymous #4 1w

I also have a stutter, so there was more work I had to do on the confidence end. Where participating in class, presentations, talking on the phone, etc had to be an intentional thing I had to work at. I’ve succeeded in all areas of my life despite my stutter, but the last hurdle I’ve had to climb is this exact thing. So there is a little kick in the butt you need to give yourself like “if I don’t make a change, nothing will change”

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Anonymous #4 1w

So all of this to say, in conclusion: by being a man who can express interest to a stranger, you’re building skills that will benefit you. By being able to take the rejection on the chin, by meeting the woman where she’s at and reading her body language, by being able to be brave and put yourself out there, you’re becoming a more well rounded you. It’s scary, it’s hard, but that feeling of “aw man I wish I had done X” is a great motivator. You got this king

1