Autistic girl community on Sidechat | my existence with autism is a burden to those who love me (and those who don’t, but i don’t care about them) to their own admittance, and I don’t know what to do aside from not existing. Any notes?

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Autistic girl community 1w

my existence with autism is a burden to those who love me (and those who don’t, but i don’t care about them) to their own admittance, and I don’t know what to do aside from not existing. Any notes?

Anonymous 1w

If they are telling you its a burden they do not truly love or accept you

Anonymous 1w

That’s life. We love each other enough to be willing to bear burdens. Is your loved ones never burdensome to you?

Anonymous 1d

You gotta figure out better systems for managing your autism both alone and together. My gf and I usually debrief after there is an autism incident and figure out better operations and we went from her getting scared and crying during my first catatonia episode (whoops sorry) to her and I both knowing exactly what to do. A lot of the burden isn’t needing to help but rather trying to predict someone’s needs.

Anonymous

#1 1w

no, that’s not logical. It is burdensome to try to have an interpersonal or sexual or romantic relationship with someone who operates differently and is so high need, i just don’t know what to do about it

Anonymous

#1 1w

by “those who love me” i mean my fiancé who i’ve known since second grade and my sister who is my sister. I don’t doubt that they love me, that’s not the issue

Anonymous

#2 1w

well yes, but i think it’s because of me and my inability to be normal and neurotypical so things they do are easily burdensome to me, which is my fault, i think

Anonymous

OP 1w

How is that your fault? That’s just the way you were born, right?

Anonymous

#2 1w

This! It’s equally their fault to have born normal which is to say none of you are at fault.

Anonymous

#3 1w

but i’m the one who is more high maintenance so doesn’t it fall on me

Anonymous

#2 1w

this is helping little by little, thanks guys i appreciate it

Anonymous

#4 1d

I also suggest seeing a therapist qualified to help you with autism! It doesn’t have to be OT exclusively, the therapist I saw for ERP/CBT also helped me figure out my autism triggers and coping mechanisms and systems to avoid problems.

Anonymous

#4 1d

8 therapists none have worked

Anonymous

#4 1d

also what is an “autism incident” i’m kind of just always autistic nothing really triggers it

Anonymous

OP 1d

I call them incidents because they’re not exclusively meltdowns, I also mean shutdowns or hard autistic regressions where my communication skills tank. I’m always autistic and managing that but the incidents are just when my autism is severely impacting my functioning. I’m sorry to hear that therapists haven’t been able to help y’all figure this out :(

Anonymous

#4 1d

ohhhh you mean like when i curl up and chant and stuff like that? everyone’s fine with those and all the other meltdowns, which is very funny to me. It seems the problem is my inability to understand a lot of forms of communication (sarcasm, body language, etc.) and how i operate purely off logic (which may not be an autism thing)

Anonymous

#4 1d

i’m sorry for not understanding you the first time

Anonymous

OP 1d

I don’t see how any of that would be burdensome, it’s just a minor inconvenience from communication differences? Like what issues beyond short-term misunderstandings have been caused by these traits?