Autistic girl community on Sidechat | My mom told me I’m not “dating to marry” and that I should just go have fun and date whoever like um… not j wanna do this once and I wanna do it right??? I’m not going to be miserable for the rest of my life hello

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Autistic girl community 1d

My mom told me I’m not “dating to marry” and that I should just go have fun and date whoever like um… not j wanna do this once and I wanna do it right??? I’m not going to be miserable for the rest of my life hello

Anonymous 1d

How can you get it right if you meet the best person but dont even know how to date or what a comfortable relationship looks like? Why wouldnt you want to share love with more people?

Anonymous 23h

why are you acting like shes sabotaging you and saying something crazy? are you 14? 13? that is the only age i can imagine a girl having this kind of inexperienced take.

Anonymous 1d

i can’t even date period. how would i do it for fun 😂😂

Anonymous 19h

I don’t understand why people are misunderstanding you and coming at you so aggressively

Anonymous 7h

Bro same I mean obviously I’m not gonna be with someone that is toxic and sucks, but the goal is to not have to hop around and go through the whole process again and again

Anonymous 12h

I was not dating with the intention of getting married, but my first serious relationship I convinced myself was my soulmate. It took me years to realize how miserable I was and now that I’ve recently started dating again, I’m realizing how horrible he was.

Anonymous

#3 20h

Right like my first girlfriend was when I was 17. I wouldn’t know what I don’t want in a long term partner if I didn’t date her, and it’d be idealistic and foolish to expect to marry your high school sweetheart.

Anonymous

#3 19h

I’m 19 😭 she’s not sabotaging me but like there’s some things I value/don’t like. Like I won’t date smokers due to personal health issues that get worse when smokers are around and she said it doesn’t matter bc values are not that important when you’re just dating

Anonymous

#4 19h

I know I’m not going to marry the first person I date. I meant like I want to marry one person and do it right yk? I just don’t want to be miserable like I’ve seen people in my personal circle be 😔

Anonymous

#2 19h

I dont want to waste my time or the time of other people. I guess I phrased it wrong? My mom is saying like certain values like me not wanting to date conservatives or people that smoke are not important bc im just dating to date not to have a serious relationship. But I want a serious relationship

Anonymous

#5 19h

Aggressively might now be the right word. More like condescending

Anonymous

#5 17h

Btw op i wasnt trying to come across patronizing i just didnt see your perspective and wanted to figure out where youre coming from

Anonymous

OP 12h

U can want a serious relationship and still date multiple ppl!

Anonymous

OP 11h

Right, but I think a part of understanding compatibility comes from exploring that intimacy. Perhaps it wasn’t expressed the way you meant? You shouldn’t be pressured to date people you don’t like or date everyone you see, but your initial post (and even your comments attempting to clarify) sounds less like healthy boundaries and more like perfectionism? I’m not sure if I’m making my point well lol

Anonymous

OP 11h

Like I personally agree. I put relationships lower on my list of priorities and seem to hop from person to person a bit less than others around me. But when I want to go on a date or something, I will, even if I’m not looking for a potential marriage partner. Even if I’m not sure we’d be compatible long term (ignoring toxicity)

Anonymous

#4 9h

Ohhh I see. Definitely not perfectionism :) i know no one is perfect, i just have qualities i look out for and my parent seems to think it doesn’t matter ? But yes i see your point I didn’t mean it to come off that way