Anonymous OP 2w

Why do I have to change everything about me to make everyone around me more comfortable? Why do I have to change everything about me for people to like me? Then it’s not even me

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Anonymous OP 2w

I also think having these predetermined “appropriate responses” is dumb. If you already decided what you want me to say, what’s the point of the conversation?

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Anonymous OP 2w

yeah ur therapist doesn't seem like a good one tbh. like obvs yes ppl r gonna sometimes view u in this negative way but i feel like his approach should've leaned more towards "ppl r gonna judge and that's ok, u'll have to learn to adapt if u don't wanna deal w that" not "these things are wrong about u"

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Anonymous #1 2w

Yeah he should’ve said that. He didn’t say he thought that but maybe those are the things another person might think. He said he’s observed times himself where it could come across as contrarian. I’m like ok so you just think I’m those things. You’re carefully phrasing it so it doesn’t seem like it but you do

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Anonymous #1 2w

He was saying my sharing is fine also but not immediately . Like I should build up to the point where I can do that. Again, why do I have to alter who I am just to make that other person comfortable? He thinks that when I share information, it can feel like I’m threatening that persons intelligence. I’m sorry but if someone tells you a fun fact and you think they’re calling you dumb, maybe that’s a YOU problem and you should work on how fragile your sense of self is. Why do I have to alter how

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Anonymous #1 2w

Move around the world so everyone else can feel good about themselves, when I’m just sharing information? I’m tired of having to do that with the world around me. Sometimes I get sad that I have very few friends but then I remember how weird the average person is with their sense of self and then I’m like yk what never mind

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Anonymous #1 2w

He tried to give me an example and it was this. He said “if you said hm I wonder why it’s so hot today, and someone said well it’s actually because …. And then go on to explain the science behind it, how would you feel?” Like I’d think that’s cool??? I’m not so insecure that I’d be like wow that person thinks I’m dumb. I’d think wow that’s a cool fact

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Anonymous OP 2w

even if he doesn't necessarily think those things himself, he clearly thinks that u should care if other ppl think that, which is just not true. most ppl are insecure and will assume the worst, that's life and it's true that bc it's a fundamental part of life, u'll deal with the consequences if u can't or choose not to play along. but it's like being pretty or a minority. yes there will be ppl that hate u for just being u but r u gonna alter ur whole identity to please them? um no. u could but y

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Anonymous #1 2w

I think it’s because we were talking about how I don’t really have anyone in my life. It’s hard to rectify that issue. I don’t want to conform and be my fake self just to have friends, but I also don’t want to be alone

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Anonymous OP 2w

see that's why i was saying if u want to "live normally" and ur surrounded by neurotypicals, ur gonna have to adapt bc yeah it'll be lonely af otherwise. but it's still a choice, ur social interactions r harder bc ur different and ppl can't understand that, but it's still not some "flaw".. tbh personally i've just accepted that i will have to mask daily just to not deal w bs, but i'm not building close relationships w ppl i HAVE to mask around, that'd be fake and miserable imo

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Anonymous #1 2w

Yeah that makes sense. I see what you’re saying. It just seems like masking around neurotypical people is not worth it anyway. I feel just as alone doing that as I am when I’m physically alone

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Anonymous OP 2w

right i feel even more alone tbh bc i can't even be "w myself" but like if it's affecting my interactions at work or my ability to succeed at school, i'm gonna go ahead and put that mask on 😭 other than that tho yeah no

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Anonymous #2 2w

-that about you too:)

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Anonymous OP 2w

First of all. No it doesn’t mean you’re an overall unlikeable person! I would much rather hangout with you than someone who gets an anger outburst a day, so you got me who likes you. Second, terrible therapist cause he didn’t explain it well, though I have to ask - did you mention all this discussion to him too? Third, again terrible therapist cause he doesn’t know how to explain but just cause you’re doing something that goes out of your way doesn’t mean you change who you are - contd.

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Anonymous #3 2w

I like to stay up till 3 am. I am a movie lover who can watch 1 movie a day for months. I also love to travel. Oh and I have a sweet tooth too. Now guess how much of all I do in a week? No I sleep early, wake up early go to office, watch my calories, etc. And I don’t do it for society. I do it for myself. I don’t want to someone who just eats sugar all day. Your preference alone DO NOT define you. Your choices do too.

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Anonymous #3 2w

Third, why is completely acceptable to pay for food, pay for travelling, hell pay to cross some imaginary lines (national borders) but it’s unacceptable to pay for friends, arguably a non-essential luxury? The payment here is different but everyone does pay it. A friend is not someone who likes for whatever you are. A friend is someone you like enough to go out of your way to make comfortable. You don’t have to do it for everyone, and compatibility determines the price, contd

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