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Autistic girl community 2w
i can never just fucking be friends with a guy, he always has to have some random crush on me and put me in a position where i have zero choice but to hurt someone i care about. no one bothers to take how i might feel into consideration. gonna crash out
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14
upvote 149 downvote
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Anonymous 2w

this also pisses me off incredibly. like what more do you want from me??

upvote 14 downvote
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Anonymous 2w

You’re thinking he’s invalidating your feelings, but you’re also actively doing the same to him, it’s a tricky situation

upvote 13 downvote
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Anonymous 2w

Honestly the issue isn’t the crush, it’s about how he (and you) deal with it. It’s not hurtful to be honest and reject someone. You just gotta take a break and some space and then can go back to being friends once he’s over the crush. In fact problem usually arises due to this fear of hurt - then you hide the crush, deny it, let it simmer until it becomes an obsession and then it becomes impossible to remain friends.

upvote 9 downvote
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Anonymous 2w

unfortunately neurotypical cisgendered straight men (usually) won’t be friends with women they aren’t attracted to. they always seem to be attracted to a woman BEFORE befriending her. some men kinda use this as a preying tactic to lure women in.

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Anonymous 2w

sadly i wish i had this problem 😭 i want to be wanted

upvote -2 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #1 2w

Maybe I just don’t get it, but I don’t think people in her place are invalidating the male friends that announce a crush. It is fully exhaustive and sort of disappointing to repeatedly have “friends” who turn out to want something sexual/romantic from you. I don’t think that turning them down counts as invalidation.

upvote 57 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #1 2w

Literally how is it the same thing

upvote 19 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #1 2w

Are you able to explain a little? 😯

upvote 26 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #7 2w

I was gonna say not all men but then realised all men I am close to are somewhere on the spectrum so you might be right ngl

upvote 13 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #4 2w

yeah ive found neurodivergent, especially like quiet hobby-driven autistic AMABs tend to care more about if they share interests and enjoy talking. literally all of the neurotypical straight cisgendered men ive ever “been friends” with ended up confessing to me. its kinda like, their end goal lol. chasing is the game for them, friendship is part of their chase

upvote 11 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #1 2w

And how the fuck is that

upvote 30 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #3 2w

I think the part I was responding to was OP saying “no one bothers to consider how I feel”. In situations like this, it’s not really fair to expect the guy to ignore or suppress his own feelings just to maintain the friendship exactly as it was.

upvote -2 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #3 2w

OP’s frustration is completely understandable but it’s also true that the other person isn’t necessarily doing anything wrong by having feelings they didn’t ask for either.

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Anonymous replying to -> #1 2w

i am in the middle of writing my goddamn capstone paper and he knows it (and the stress i’m under) damn well. this could have waited a week. that’s what i mean by inconsiderate.

upvote 8 downvote