Sidechat logo
Download TikTok Instagram X
Sidechat icon
Join communities on Sidechat Download
Ask Women icon
Ask Women 1w
What to do if your boyfriend didn’t stop after you said your safe word
comment

18
upvote 11 downvote
default user profile icon
Anonymous 1w

leave

upvote 21 downvote
default user profile icon
Anonymous 1w

break up with him. that is unforgivable imo

upvote 19 downvote
default user profile icon
Anonymous 1w

Report him for rape if you can do it safely, not only is he a danger to you but he’s also a danger to others if that’s how he treats people

upvote 14 downvote
🍌
Anonymous 1w

Honestly, if you find him really nice and this is a lone event then I would give him another chance. Now if it happens again, you might wanna step back and reevaluate. (I’m a guy)

upvote 1 downvote
default user profile icon
Anonymous 1w

Tell him it really bothered you and if he doesn’t apologize profusely and take you very seriously then leave

upvote 1 downvote
default user profile icon
Anonymous 1w

Could go either way. Your choice. You have every right to leave if you want. If you do stay, set a hard limit on this ever happening again. Like, decide now. If this ever happens again, you leave. Even if you want to stay. There are lots of other guys.

upvote 1 downvote
default user profile icon
Anonymous replying to -> #1 1w

It only happened once and he felt terrible. I don’t think he would do it agan

upvote 4 downvote
default user profile icon
Anonymous replying to -> OP 1w

Consent is something to be taken very seriously, the fact that you two went through the process of deciding on a safe word and he chose to ignore it anyway is concerning. If it truly was just a mistake then he’s not ready to be getting involved in that sort of thing

upvote 26 downvote
default user profile icon
Anonymous replying to -> #1 1w

He told me he was driven by lust in the moment even though he registered it he didn’t stop though. I started to cry though and when I did he did immediately stop

upvote 10 downvote
default user profile icon
Anonymous replying to -> OP 1w

Sorry but that’s a terrible excuse

upvote 23 downvote
default user profile icon
Anonymous replying to -> OP 1w

You will never, ever be safe with him or be able to trust him. You can’t come back from that, the relationship is done. He does not respect you or care about you. I’m sorry

upvote 4 downvote
default user profile icon
Anonymous replying to -> #4 1w

He felt so terrible afterwards

upvote 6 downvote
default user profile icon
Anonymous replying to -> smart_purple_banana 1w

That’s kinda how I wanted to do it. He’s even nervous to touch me now. I really don’t think he will do it again

upvote 6 downvote
default user profile icon
Anonymous replying to -> OP 1w

I understand and it sounds like you’re not gonna leave him but please consider the fact that a good man would not do that and then feel terrible afterwards, a good man wouldn’t rape you in the first place.

upvote 11 downvote
default user profile icon
Anonymous replying to -> OP 1w

And you definitely deserve better than to be with a guy who raped you whether he feels bad about it or not. Millions of better men out there would have never done that to you

upvote 8 downvote
default user profile icon
Anonymous replying to -> OP 1w

if he was so driven by lust in that moment he will 100% get “driven by lust” again especially knowing that you will forgive him. rape is not something that just happens one time.

upvote 3 downvote
default user profile icon
Anonymous replying to -> OP 1w

my ex did that too where he would be all like “i’m nvr touching u again. i’m so sorry. blah blah blah.” crying and feeling awful and then BOOM it would happen again and the cycle would repeat and to this day i’m sure he still hasn’t come to terms with the fact that he raped me and sexually assaulted me repeatedly over the course of our relationship.

upvote 8 downvote
default user profile icon
Anonymous replying to -> OP 1w

i gave him the benefit of the doubt always like you are doing here. “but he genuinely feels bad” “he didn’t mean to” “he would never do it again”. i chalked it up to inexperience and ignorance and that he just needed time and to be educated. but it never changed and i walked away even more traumatized than when i met him. not every man is the same but be safe and be wary and do with that what you will.

upvote 12 downvote