Sidechat logo
Download TikTok Instagram X
Sidechat icon
Join communities on Sidechat Download
Ask Women icon
Ask Women 2w
Those whove cheated; why? (swear oml this is not a fetishpost and I’m not looking for ppl to yell at) Just that I gotta dump my gf & ik Ill never get an answer from her. Can’t imagine why she wanted to. I let her set the pace she agreed to monogamy with
comment

15
upvote 7 downvote
default user profile icon
Anonymous 2w

I cheated in my first relationship. My boyfriend was great and I really loved him, but I had some experiences in my younger life with men that left me in this state of constantly seeking out men for validation and approval. So even though I had this stable person, I was talking to other men online constantly and didn't even see it as wrong because we weren't actually "doing anything". Naturally, we broke up. I didn't realize til many years later what my actions actually were til I got in therapy

upvote 5 downvote
default user profile icon
Anonymous 2w

in my first relationship, i emotionally cheated (this may not help since it seems like maybe she physically cheated) since he was closed off and didn’t want to have emotional/deeper conversations

upvote 4 downvote
default user profile icon
Anonymous 2w

Well I never cheated but my man cheated on me bc he didn’t want to leave me until he was sure he could be in a relationship with her. I was his secure option ig

upvote 4 downvote
user profile icon
Anonymous 2w

There are tons of reasons people cheat. If she can’t give an answer, she probably enjoyed the thrill of it and doesn’t have emotional maturity to be a committed to one man. I’m sorry this has been your experience.

upvote 3 downvote
default user profile icon
Anonymous 2w

I convinced myself there were bigger issues in communication and that they didn’t like me as much as they actually did and, instead of actually talking to them, I convinced myself I needed to “get back” at them, so I hooked up with someone to have as that emotional leverage. I have no clue why I was such a POS, but I did apologise and we’re still friends to this day.

upvote 2 downvote
default user profile icon
Anonymous 2w

zero pressure. And start to finish I gave 100% effort & princess treatment. Never told me anything was wrong with it, never would admit anything was bothering her. And she’s pretty enough she didn’t need to hang onto me as a “safety” or backup plan. I genuinely can’t figure it out for the life of me. Hence I’m wondering what the common rationales are

upvote 1 downvote
default user profile icon
Anonymous 2w

as someone whose ex was a serial cheater… i will never fully understand it but this is what i think is are common traits of cheaters. emotionally unstable, insecurity, self hate, rocky relationship w their parents, commitment issues, attachment issues (in a yes i cheated but u can’t leave me way), attention seeking, needing female/male validation, feeling power, adrenaline rush from lying and hiding, fear of getting heartbroken, lack of empathy for others. there could be hundreds of reasons

upvote 1 downvote
default user profile icon
Anonymous 2w

I doubt you’ll find any girl on here who has cheated

upvote -8 downvote
default user profile icon
Anonymous replying to -> #2 2w

🤔Why? Would the proportion here be any lower than the general public? It’s as anonymous as can be so it seems like it’d be the most likely place for someone to admit to & talk about it at least

upvote 7 downvote
default user profile icon
Anonymous replying to -> OP 2w

Honestly it’s mostly just a feeling I have. Maybe it’s because I’ve been in this group for a while but I feel like the type of woman who would cheat would not be interested in answering questions from men in this community, they probably would the type to avoid self reflection at all costs.

upvote 8 downvote
default user profile icon
Anonymous replying to -> #2 2w

I like how my statement is downvoted but the explanation is upvoted

upvote 2 downvote
default user profile icon
Anonymous replying to -> #2 2w

Not all of us are still doing terrible things or trying to ‘excuse’ it.

upvote 2 downvote
default user profile icon
Anonymous replying to -> #4 2w

That’s good I’m glad you’ve made progress. I’m just doubtful many have done the same

upvote 1 downvote
default user profile icon
Anonymous replying to -> #2 2w

many girls actually cheat😭 many girls even help men cheat. my first year roommate told me she had cheated on every single partner of hers (i was BRUTALLY cheated on by my sex so i took this awfully) why i think she did- insanely high ego, thinks she’s hotter and better than everyone, cant commit/doesnt like the idea of just one person, flirty person in general. she was super nice and funny in the beginning but i later learned how manipulative and lowk a whore she is😭

upvote 2 downvote
default user profile icon
Anonymous replying to -> #7 2w

And started unpacking all my own stuff. I felt a lot of shame for the person I was in that relationship and did reach out in the mail to apologize, although nothing came of it and that's ok!. I don't condone what I did in that relationship but I've become much more aware about my own insecurities, needs, and motivations, which helps me identify the thoughts that were leading to me running off and talking to older guys. But I've been in a relationship for 2 years now and it's been great <3

upvote 6 downvote