Anonymous #2 1d

And i dont mean this in a victim blamey way or that its womens responsibility to make up for mens deficiency. I get the resentment wholesale but not the defeatist attitude

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Anonymous #2 1d

Because often it isn’t their responsibility to improve people outside of themselves. They can’t control the behavior of others because no one can. If they don’t want to date out of fear that’s their decision to make

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Anonymous #2 1d

lol posted this before your post appeared

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Anonymous #1 1d

U good and u right. I was moreso getting at like a standards thing. I kept getting into terrible toxic relationships because i didnt know how to be firm in my boundaries when i got walked over. But now im learning how to have healthier relationships and alerting my friends about avoiding my abusive ex.

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Anonymous #2 1d

Truly I think it's guys like 1 in that thread that make things difficult for all guys. He keeps trying to downplay her fears and calling her nicknames to seemingly degrade her. It's honestly disgusting

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Anonymous #2 1d

I’m op and I’m not straight lol. I’m kinda attracted to men, but I really don’t think the risks to my safety are worth getting to date men. It’s more I’m weighing the risks and I don’t personally think it’s worth it. And I’m not saying that it completely protects me from bad things either of that saying men would result in me being hurt. I simply would prefer not to take that risk

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Anonymous #1 1d

I was literally just trying to see if anyone else felt the same way I do, and in fact some women do. I got many dms from other women agreeing with my post and saying they also felt similarly. 1 on that post starting freaking out and insisting that I was stupid for not wanting to risk my safety for a man, for some reason lol

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Anonymous #3 1d

Sure! I wasnt necessarily speaking to you in particular its a thing i see on here a lot i wasnt trying to imply youre straight. Im also not tryinf to downplay how much greater of a risk and how systematized men being dangerous is. I just see a lot of hetero dynamics from both men and women being rlly defeatist about dating and i want to understand it

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Anonymous #2 1d

I know you mentioned earlier it’s more of a standards thing but that really the thing that freaks me out. I have high standards, I understand what to look for in order to identify abuse, I have hard lines I do not let people cross, I’ve had all the things that typically mean I shouldn’t be getting played. And yet not only have I been cheated on, lied to, etc, I’ve seen men change at the drop of a dime with zero warning. Even outside of relationships, men in my life have suddenly revealed that-

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Anonymous #2 1d

They aren’t the mask they’ve been wearing for years, which is why I think they’re so dangerous. And this isn’t to put anyone else down for having lower standards, it’s more to say that no matter your standards these men will play in your face regardless. I’ve just had a very intense understanding of my worth for a very long time, I’m very lucky, and I don’t think standards are always a saving grace.

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Anonymous #2 1d

And I don’t want to come off like I’m arguing lol, more trying to explain my point out a bit ig

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Anonymous #3 1d

Yeah i think framing it as a standards thing was projection on my end. Ive also dealt with so much straight up trickery from women who put on such a caring mask only to drop it when i trust them. It blows

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Anonymous #2 1d

Yeah I’ve met my fair share of….interesting women lol. With men, I think it’s just a different type of fear. When women drop their mask around me, it’s more of a “woah ok didn’t know that one was in the chamber”. With men it’s more “I didn’t realize this whole time you’ve been one bad day away from physically harming me”. Which also isn’t to say that women can’t harm people either, one is just significantly more prevalent

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