OP, here’s some more thoughts on your actual topic in case they seem relevant: personally, the difference I see between a man who’s “too nice” and one who’s kind and attractive to me, is that the latter considers my desires, boundaries, and interests while also considering his own. I feel confident that he isn’t literally agreeing with me or doing things for me just to please me.

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If I get the sense he’s trying especially hard to tailor his personality to my likes, on some level it makes me anxious that he will get tired and resentful from giving and giving and giving. But if I feel like he and I are meeting in the middle with what we would do for each other, and we both can say yes or no to things, it makes me feel more reassured.

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That doesn’t mean any specific thing you’re doing “wrong”. People can have very specific types, or value traits that you have as well as traits that you don’t have.

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