Sidechat icon
Join communities on Sidechat Download
Why don’t ladies approach men first?
upvote 41 downvote

default user profile icon
Anonymous 5d

Who said we don’t?

upvote 17 downvote
default user profile icon
Anonymous 5d

Fear of rejection

upvote 12 downvote
default user profile icon
Anonymous 5d

i’ve tried and they were really dry when we talked or i was ghosted afterwards… now, if they’re interested after i make a move i’m scared that they only want me bc i’m right there

upvote 7 downvote
default user profile icon
Anonymous 5d

I tried to once, but a former friend told the him and his friends I was going to, and then he decided to embarrass me about it to my entire high school 😛💆‍♀️ haven't thought about approaching a guy since

upvote 4 downvote
default user profile icon
Anonymous 5d

i do sometimes, but how do i keep it going? i’m a little awkward in person and it feels like i use all of my social ability just to work up the guts to talk to the guy and can’t keep it going after

upvote 4 downvote
default user profile icon
Anonymous 5d

Well I do approach a lot of guys and my issue is it sets a precedent that I will continue to make the first move (I have to reach out first, I have to make plans etc) and it’s discouraging tbh

upvote 3 downvote
default user profile icon
Anonymous 5d

Because of the submissive dominant emotional exchange. It's complicated, controversial, and incendiary... but.. Submissive, lower power, desired, relinquishes physical power, given psychological power Dominant, higher power, gains physical power over submissive, relinquishes psychological power

upvote -5 downvote
default user profile icon
Anonymous replying to -> #1 5d

Y’all are always asking “Why don’t men make the first move anymore?” so I’m asking the reverse

upvote 11 downvote
default user profile icon
Anonymous 5d

I respect that a ton, good on you! I usually hear lot of ladies complaining about “oh he’s so cute but I don’t wanna make the first move” as if men aren’t thinking the same thing

upvote 26 downvote
default user profile icon
Anonymous replying to -> OP 5d

Not me. I only approach. Being approached is awkward

upvote 3 downvote
default user profile icon
Anonymous 5d

Probably due to problematic gender roles. This is way less of an issue now than let’s say 20 years ago, though!

upvote 6 downvote
default user profile icon
Anonymous replying to -> #6 4d

And would you agree, then, that that same feeling could happen to guys who are societally expected to make the first move?

upvote 3 downvote
default user profile icon
Anonymous replying to -> #6 4d

I doubt everyone you will ever ask out collectively aggregates how many times you ask them out and then all agree to set a precedent against you

upvote 5 downvote
default user profile icon
Anonymous replying to -> #6 4d

Guys I’m not arguing I’m sympathizing with you, with the amount of work it takes to go up to guys I imagine it’d be even harder doing it with girls, and I’m not saying they’re all collectively setting a precedent I’m just saying when I am initiating first consistently guys don’t feel like they have to make as much of an effort

upvote 2 downvote
default user profile icon
Anonymous replying to -> #6 4d

I get that, I was just asking a question to, like, have a conversation about the issue as a whole

upvote 1 downvote