
heyy girl i dont rly have advice but if it’s encouraging for you at all my mom was a single mom for most of my childhood (until she met my stepdad who is awesome) and she’s also my best friend in the whole world and the most amazing person ik. you got this!! watch some gilmore girls if you’re feeling down lol
Pt.4- but I feel like I let myself and my son down already -- I never wanted to put myself in a position to be a single mother-- I guess I'm just disappointed in myself. But I'm trying to prepare myself for him to never be in our lives again. Not even at the birth. Just really trying to keep it together
Pt.5 - I keep thinking he said those things because he finally got me-- nothing to keep chasing now that I'm knocked up. Like he's truly done this time. But all things considered this really may be the best for me and my son. He's unstable, manipulative, narcissistic-- but always said he wanted nothing else in the world to be a dad. I guess I'm just confused on how he could walk away on us. I won't say I was the easiest to be with-- but neither was he
Pt.5 - just venting. There's many more layers that had led to this moment, so I guess I'm just looking forward to the phase where I don't think about him every morning when I wake up; if he'll come back. If he thinks about what he's given up. I suppose the lost control and the unknowing is what's tearing at me-- and he's last words-- 'I refuse and deny any more socialization with you' -- at such a unique time. How to let go? 😮💨
He's bipolar, and can barely hold a job.. I know: more cherries on top 😔 -- he wasn't always like this. He checked himself into rehab, and was clean for a few months, moved in with me and was able to get a few jobs. But I notice a change-- like he was back on the drugs, maybe after he lost both this jobs he had just gotten. I moved him out at the beginning of the month. I thought: better to be by myself, away from him stressing me out during the remainder of my pregnancy.
And for sure I don't want him doing drugs in my house (again) while I'm at work and he says he's "looking for a job" maybe he's pissed I moved him out; made things harder on him when you could have just went to a SLE instead of moving back in with me. Maybe I'll never know-- but we both made that choice I didn't force him. He said he wanted to be around to experience the pregnancy with me... so much for that