Ask Women on Sidechat | PSA to men: if you go on a first date with a woman, be mindful of her safety preferences when planning. Most women will not want you to come to their home on the first date, nor do they typically want to go to your home. It puts us in unnecessary danger

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Ask Women 2d

PSA to men: if you go on a first date with a woman, be mindful of her safety preferences when planning. Most women will not want you to come to their home on the first date, nor do they typically want to go to your home. It puts us in unnecessary danger

559

Anonymous 2d

I’ve gone on first dates with many different men over the years and I’ve found that very few think of my safety preferences. The dating scene can be a lot scarier for women. There are many men out there who want to harm us. Please try to consider our perspective in your planning. Just a tip for anyone going on future first dates❤️

139

Anonymous 2d

For sure, I always plan around them. Do you wanna drive separate, wanna do something small first, shit like that. Home off the bat says you’re trying to fuck

Anonymous 2d

Grabbing some lunch and going for a walk in a park and getting to know the person is usually how I plan first dates,

Anonymous 2d

THIS! There’s a few things men should note of for first dates. It’s nice to offer to drive her but a lot of women feel safer with their own car so they bc can leave if they need to. Don’t be overly physical unless she’s returning the energy. Dont try to go home with her after

🧧

Anonymous 2d

I usually say send me a near by place to pick up, if not I give alternative like send me the total for your uber.

Anonymous 1d

I know one woman, who claims she loves nature but is afraid of bright sunlight !!!!!

Anonymous 1d

Went on a first date with a guy off an app and he went out for frozen yogurt (he kept calling it ice cream) and walked around downtown. About 30 minutes into the date he pointed down a dark street with nothing to look at or anywhere to go and asked if I wanted to walk down there. I quickly said I had to work the next morning and said goodbye. Date wasn’t going that well and I had gotten the ick before even meeting him in person so that was the final straw.

Anonymous 11h

I must get hella lucky then because I almost always get invited back or vice versa

Anonymous 1d

If she didn’t like the first date she can say so. Interestingly about a million women turned 18 today so find a different one to date.

-5

Anonymous

OP 2d

(Guy here) brothers, a big thing you can do to help is just ASK what comfort level they’re at. Offer to pay for an Uber if they don’t want to be picked up, offer to meet at a local public place, etc.

159

Anonymous

#1 2d

THIS! THIS! PLEASE! IM BEGGING YOU! It isn’t because we women think you specifically are a creep, it is just that the risk is too high and the potential consequences are deadly.

110

Anonymous

#2 2d

I grew up hearing horror stories so I try and be incredibly mindful about all of that stuff, my last date I offered to give the location ahead of time and turn on her gps for her friend so she could check in 😅

Anonymous

#1 2d

I promise the most attractive thing you can do is genuinely think about her comfort!!

Anonymous

#2 2d

Consent and safety are sexy, I’ll die on this hill

Anonymous

#1 2d

It shouldn’t be the only reason people consider it but it’s a beneficial part. The amount of times a girls told me it’s hot how safe I make them feel is damn near 100%

Anonymous

#3 2d

The amount of girls* lol

Anonymous

#6 2d

And going to a public place is key, I once had a guy ask if I wanted to go hiking the first date I thought I was gonna get murdered

Anonymous

#6 2d

Nothing wrong with a coffee date

Anonymous

#3 2d

Yes a coffee date is perfect

Anonymous

#6 2d

lol if your single and in cali at any point I’d love to take you on a coffee date

-5

Anonymous

#1 1d

Ngl this is the BARE MINIMUM however if a guy asked my comfort level and offered to pay my uber that would be immediate green flags and a turn on for me

Anonymous

#7 1d

I 100% agree that it’s the minimum snd yet somehow it’s always a surprise when there my concern lol

Anonymous

#8 1d

I fear you did not understand the message of this post😅

Anonymous

#9 1d

Of course I did. It’s important to listen to a woman’s concerns. The problem with that is you are establishing on the first date the way the relationship operates. As a man in the relationship you want it to be 70/30 not 90/10 with the woman in charge. Listening to a woman’s needs is pointless because 1 the needs are constant and constantly changing 2 women have tons of issues and problems that can’t be fixed, for example Anxiety and various levels of fear.

-6

Anonymous

#8 1d

What in God’s name are you smoking my dudes? “Listening to a woman’s needs is pointless” is a wild thing to say here or anywhere

Anonymous

#8 1d

I agree with your statement that it’s important to listen to a woman’s concerns. Personally, I believe we should all take time to listen to our partners’ (or potential partners’) concerns. You said that the “problem” here is establishing how the relationship operates. How is optimizing a human’s safety a bad thing? Especially since it’s a first date, I don’t see why anyone would be obligated to pick the other up. It’s risky for anyone to trust anyone when you don’t know each other well.

Anonymous

#6 1d

THIS. Was asked out by a guy I’ve known on and off since we were like 13 (my mom knows his mom) and we went to the same uni and he wanted to go on a hike and I still said no I was busy like wtf. He got the hint and asked me out to dinner afterwards like a normal person

Anonymous

#13 11h

If you get invited back that’s different and most likely means she’s really likes you. I think the post was trying to warn guys don’t push her to come to your house or force yourself at hers, if she wants you there she’ll invite you. So yes, you must get lucky and they all like you enough to invite you

Anonymous

#6 11h

oh yeah, no expectations is always the way to go!