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Ask Women 1w
Looking for advice: This guy I’ve been going on dates with recently opened up about his past relationships and how he had trouble with being controlling and jealous. It made me genuinely worried with if I want to progress or not. Am I overthinking?
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Anonymous 1w

He sounds like he is aware and working on it. Give him a chance.

upvote 16 downvote
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Anonymous 1w

i will say as someone who struggled with the same things, that i would tell potential partners this so that they could never use it against me (like if they brought it up, i’d say “well i was honest with you about who i was”). i’m not like that anymore thanks to therapy and getting on seroquel so maybe feel it out to see if he’s been actively working on those issues

upvote 8 downvote
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Anonymous 1w

Sounds like he’s warning you. I’d stop contact

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Anonymous 1w

be open with him, if you don’t want him to feel like that with you make sure you understand how he wants to be treated. ask for examples and understand what he felt and why he felt that way. if you think he’s being unreasonable you should definitely leave because in some men’s eyes we are nothing but burdens and there is nothing we can change about that.

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Anonymous 1w

i know this is ask women, but i do want to stick the guys side in here as i frequently get advice here too - if he opened up to you with no prompting, it means he sees you as somebody worth putting the effort to change for. Being cautious is still smart, but don’t throw it away without giving him a chance to be the person he wants to be for you.

upvote 1 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #2 1w

Yes, im tired of people who expect women to just tolerate it or "try" to make it work when they literally don't have to

upvote 6 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #3 1w

He says he’s trying to work on it and that he doesn’t expect it’ll be an issue since it’s been two years since he’s felt that way, but I just have an overwhelming sense of fear about ending up in a possessive relationship position. Other than him talking about his past, he’s been really sweet, but I’m cautious now…

upvote 3 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #5 1w

When we talked about it I was open with him about how I felt, so I hope it doesn’t become too prominent of an issue

upvote 7 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #6 1w

whoever downvoted, please explain…i think that’s a healthy way to go about things

upvote 8 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #6 1w

I agree with your advice, don’t let others intimidate you.

upvote 4 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #6 1w

Thank you for the advice on the other side of things! I’m definitely trying to keep up what we have going and I don’t want to pull away unless I really sense it’s going downhill, so I’ll just be cautious. I think he does want to try a relationship in the future where things are different

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Anonymous replying to -> #1 1w

thank you

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 1w

of course. careful but not avoidant is probably the best way to go about it.

upvote 4 downvote