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I'm seeing this girl and she was sexually assaulted and few weeks ago and wants to get back into having sexual relations with me but she literally can't I don't want her too feel bad how can I help her feel better and safe with my
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Anonymous 3w

Comfort her and reassure her that you don’t want to do anything until she is fully ready and healed. It took me years to be okay with intimacy again

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Anonymous 3w

Being patient, taking it slow, foreplay, safe words, check-ins (is this okay/you like that?), talking her through it, aftercare, communicating about sex after sex (i like when you did xyz, did you like when i did abc?). Also, because it’s recent, I’d honestly recommend you see if she’d be interested in counseling of some sort. There are usually university services for SA survivors and/or for mental health, school counselors, therapists, clinicians. Can’t heal from trauma by re-experiencing it

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Anonymous 3w

Be prepared to stop in the middle of it if she asks. Don’t guilt trip her about it and make sure it’s 100% clear that you’ll stop if she needs you to

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Anonymous replying to -> #2 3w

When something so intimate about ourselves is violated, there’s no easy solution to feel connected, comfortable, and secure again. It’s hard to feel that intimacy with yourself again when you feel like your body no longer belongs to you. Despite her heart wanting to be intimate with you, sometimes our brains bring up a lot of the unresolved/unprocessed thoughts and emotions. Esp about sex/intimacy/feeling desire(d)

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