Anonymous #1 1d

Y’all have been telling them to change themselves…..I’ve never heard anybody tell them that they acknowledge the difficulty that incels are having and that that difficulty doesn’t make them a bad person

1

Anonymous OP 1d

Learning to accept that sex isn’t everything and that there’s more to life than vaginas IS telling them to change yes

11

Anonymous OP 1d

You definitely haven’t been on here much. We all acknowledge that dating is hard. But that doesn’t mean incels are allowed to harass us, insult us, or do any of the things they are doing. We tell them to change their attitude because that’s what is causing more harm than anything else

3

Anonymous OP 1d

You have no idea how many times I’ve told this to men. I can probably count 10 men I’ve told this to, only to be harassed about it.

10

Anonymous #1 1d

Because you're not doing it the way I said. When you tell them that sex isnt everything you're giving them FOMO. When you tell them that not having it shouldn't necessitate how you feel about yourself you're affirming them.

-2

Anonymous strawberry_hair 1d

Did you say that if they never had the chance to do those things that’s not an indictment on their character?

-1

Anonymous OP 1d

Ok well you tell them that, incels don’t like listening to women’s advice

8

Anonymous #1 1d

I did

0

Anonymous OP 1d

Ok cool. The work here is done

4

Anonymous strawberry_hair 1d

You tell them to change their attitude before you reaffirm them. But the attitude comes from pain. It’s a pain that you’re not acknowledging.

-2

Anonymous #1 1d

Yep

0

Anonymous strawberry_hair 1d

Women do not acknowledge the dating is hard for men very often. Especially not to incels

-1

Anonymous OP 1d

I’m sorry you feel hurt that you haven’t had sex yet but it doesn’t make you a bad person or mean that something is wrong with you. Better?

5

Anonymous #1 1d

Yes that would be better to tell someone.

-1

Anonymous #1 1d

You don’t have to feel sorry for them not having sex though that just sounds like you’re petting them and looking down upon them

-1

Anonymous OP 1d

Okay well I hope you take that advice to heart

3

Anonymous #1 1d

Im not an incel. I just care about people.

-1

Anonymous OP 1d

You seem to really really want women to feel sorry for you for not having sex yet, you treat being a virgin like you’re a victim of something

1

Anonymous #1 1d

Genuinely how are you coming to that conclusion?

1

Anonymous OP 1d

“Incels” are just virgins. Being a virgin doesn’t make you a victim nor does it make you any less of a person

1

Anonymous #1 1d

“But I want to have sex so that makes me an incel” no you’re just a virgin who hasn’t met the right person yet. Be patient

1

Anonymous #1 1d

Not all Incels are virgins and Not having sex doesn’t make you a bad person. How are you disagreeing with this?

0

Anonymous #1 1d

You’re completely writing them off instead of acknowledging them as people struggling with dating. And again, not all versions are incels. And not all incels are virgins. Why is it so hard to get?

0

Anonymous #1 1d

Virgins*

0

Anonymous OP 1d

Okay, well I’m sorry they haven’t met the right person yet. That’s extremely common and there’s nothing wrong with that!

1

Anonymous #1 1d

You dont see how condescending that sounds?

0

Anonymous OP 1d

Nope. But nothing women could say will make people like you happy so I’m just gonna ignore incels from now on

1

Anonymous #1 1d

I just told what you should say and your apprehensive to reaffirming ppl. That’s weird

0

Anonymous #1 1d

Your just like “lemme not give a fuck about how you feel and condescend you instead of giving anti patriarchal affirmation that could actually help you”

0

Anonymous OP 1d

Okay here’s my last advice for you. I’m not sorry that you haven’t had as much sex as you’d want but I acknowledge that it’s upsetting to you and I want to reassure you it doesn’t change who you are as a person.

1

Anonymous #3 1d

Not all incels are virgins. And its not on you. You could ignore them. but if you want help don’t spread harm rhetoric

-2

Anonymous #1 1d

Im not an incel. And how are you still missing what im tryna tell you

0

Anonymous OP 1d

Okay well that is what I’d tell someone who wants to have more sex than they’re getting.

1

Anonymous #1 1d

Well Its condescending and ineffective

0

Anonymous OP 1d

You don’t want us to feel sorry but you don’t want us to not feel sorry. What should I have said instead in order to protect their fragile ego?

1

Anonymous #1 1d

Stop bringing up sorry and just have some empathy …damn

0

Anonymous #1 1d

Bringing up fragile ego instead of empathizing with pain is actually ineffective. You just want to insult them

0

Anonymous OP 1d

So what should we say to them? Like exactly

1

Anonymous #1 1d

What would YOU say to an incel

1

Anonymous #1 1d

Acknowledge that dating is hard and that it doesn’t make them a bad person if its hard

0

Anonymous OP 1d

Genuinely who tf is saying anyone is a bad person for having trouble dating. I never hear anyone say that

1

Anonymous #1 1d

You are when you tell them to change them selves

0

Anonymous OP 1d

K

1

Anonymous OP 1d

It’s kind of difficult to ignore a group of people so consistently violent that there’s now a specific legal name for the kind of violence they commit

3

Anonymous #3 1d

Yes but were talking about the roots of the problem and effective deterrents

-2

Anonymous OP 1d

The root of the problem is online ideology that gets more and more extreme in the echo chamber that is the incel community. It’s a lack of accountability, empathy, and self reflection. There is nothing an outside group or individual can do to stop it besides destroy the spaces they inhabit and to deplatform all the red pilled influencers and podcasters who accelerate the ideology.

4

Anonymous #3 1d

Youre not listening

-2

Anonymous OP 1d

How so?

3

Anonymous #3 1d

You didn’t read what ive been saying. So why should expect my elaboration to work?

-2

Anonymous OP 1d

I just answered your comment about the root of the problem and deterrents. There is nothing to be done on an individual basis, which is what you’re suggesting.

9

Anonymous #3 1d

There is something to be done on an individual basis and it’s talking to them and extending empathy to experience. Then giving them healthy ways to look at their situation instead of just writing their situation off as something thats just in their head.

-2

Anonymous OP 1d

The issue is that they don’t listen. Being immediately defensive is ingrained in them through those communities. They don’t think logically, and if they deny being the root cause of all their issues, why would they ever accept the fact that they need do any work to change?

8

Anonymous #3 1d

All you want to do is have them be hard on themselves with no room to talk about the pain. the pain is the thing that need acknowledgement. Then healthy ways of viewing their situation

-1

Anonymous #3 1d

You don’t listen clearly

-2

Anonymous OP 1d

Bruh I don’t know how else to explain this to you. Time and time again it’s been proven that simply talking to them doesn’t work.

7

Anonymous OP 1d

We acknowledge that some people are more upset by a lack of sex than others and we encourage them to try to work past that, idk what else you want us to do to help these people

1

Anonymous #1 1d

Thats i all i want actually

1

Anonymous #3 1d

Bc YOU suck at talking to them

1