Ask Women on Sidechat | Anyone else find penetration painful? I’m with my first bf rn and I haven’t told him yet but genuinely it feels like burning or something whenever something is inside (and yes everything is clean) is this normal? Is something wrong with me?

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Ask Women 1d

Anyone else find penetration painful? I’m with my first bf rn and I haven’t told him yet but genuinely it feels like burning or something whenever something is inside (and yes everything is clean) is this normal? Is something wrong with me?

Anonymous 1d

I suggest more lube

Anonymous 1d

I have vaginismus too. I’ve tried pelvic floor stretchers, but want to get ones that vibrate because that’s much easier for me to insert. I’d also consider surgery if I had the money.

Anonymous 1d

it's not rare. it took me like 6 months to adjust to sex. the solution is often more lube, especially on the dude's tip

🐅

Anonymous 22h

just throwing out another idea, my best friend had this problem with her bf and just found out she has a retroverted uterus which has been causing a lot of pain during sex, and she can potentially just do different positions and it could be better. it can also be that you need lube or you have vaginismus like people are saying. if it’s unbearable i would recommend going to a gyno

Anonymous 1d

what you’re describing is called vaginismus, it can happen just from being you and how your body grew up to be you but normally it comes after a traumatic event, best treatments are pelvic floor exercises like doing kegels to strengthen it and dilator therapy because it’s burning because your pelvic floor muscles are not contracting so you use dilators to strengthen them as well at your own pace

Anonymous 21h

nothing is “wrong” with you necessarily, more live could help but if this is paired with other symptoms like really painful periods it can allude to some other underlying conditions

Anonymous 20h

I was exactly in your same boat earlier this year and I asked the same question you did. I am not a doctor so I cannot say for certain but in my experience it is completely normal. I also had not ever had any objects up there prior to my first time, and it took me a few tries to actually be penetrated because it hurt so bad. I suggest more tube, more foreplay to warm up, and also to relax as much as you can

Anonymous

#4 1d

*stretches and dialators. And actually kegels are the opposite of what you should be doing if you have a tight pelvic floor. Kegels strengthen your pelvic floor but if it’s spastic, you should be trying to relax it, not strengthen right away.

Anonymous

#4 1d

yeah but a weak pelvic floor means it does not expand during arousel therefore you do kegels in order to make it strong so your body actually listens to what your brain wants to do, if the muscles are weak then they won’t contract therefore keeping the burning and pain

Anonymous

#3 1d

No, that’s a spastic pelvic floor. If your body tightens automatically it’s spastic and strengthening tight muscles will only increase the chance of injury and the spasticity. You need to work to train your body to relax the spasticity BEFORE you can even think of strengthening the muscles.

Anonymous

#4 1d

you’re 100% right, i guess i should be saying reverse kegels

Anonymous

#3 1d

I have a spastic pelvic floor and for years was told kegels were the answer. Been doing reverse kegels and relaxation techniques for a few months now. It’s reversed a lot of things that were very real health issues. Also, vibrating dialators are supposed to be the best because they’ll help to retrain the nerve endings so that they’re not as active (important for vaginismus.)

Anonymous

#7 20h

I learned my biggest challenge was I would tense anticipating that penetration would be painful and that made it worse, it gets much better over time i promise (weeks to a couple months depending on frequency of intimacy), but if not I’d consult your doctor. Just be honest with your bf, especially being with your first intimate partner he should understand just communicate