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Ask Women 1d
so I caught feelings for this girl in a sorority at a different college, she said "im notlooking for anything right now, but would love to be friends" I responded with "ofcourse,id rather start off as friends and see where things go anyways" -thoughts?
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upvote 8 downvote
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Anonymous 1d

Not a great response, you’re essentially telling her that you see friendship as a way to get with her right after she told you she’s not interested in getting to know you like that

upvote 23 downvote
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Anonymous 1d

Yeah I agree with 2. That wasn’t a great response.

upvote 17 downvote
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Anonymous 1d

Seems like she straight forwardly told you that it won't go anywhere so you saying you want to see where it goes makes it sound like you weren't really listening to her

upvote 13 downvote
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Anonymous 1d

I dont mean the anyways as undermining her, but like more of a i need to be friends first kind of way

upvote 2 downvote
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Anonymous 1d

my thoughts are it puts less pressure on her getting to actually know me

upvote 1 downvote
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Anonymous 1d

I appreciate every comment, im not trying to debate i genuinely want to know how I should proceed and what not to do to make her feel uncomfortable with me, because im 100% okay with just being friends shes really cool, but if theres a possibility we could date I want to try yk

upvote 0 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #2 1d

Like I can understand that might not be what you were trying to say, but that’s how it comes across

upvote 17 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> OP 1d

while also trying to making it like she doesn't have to make a decision about her feelings, because if anything i kinda do want a slowburn kind of thing

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 1d

She already made a decision though, and you’re basically telling her “it doesn’t matter that you don’t want to date me, I’d rather we start as friends and date later”, ignoring her boundary It puts pressure on her, if that were me I’d feel uncomfortable having a friendship with the guy who said that

upvote 22 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> OP 1d

we met partying with our mutual friends and im thinking based on the fact we barely know eachother, that it wasnt her saying she's not interested

upvote 0 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> OP 1d

So you’re only into dating people you’ve been friends with for a while, but asked her out before establishing a connection with her? She already told you she’s not interested, it’s REALLY uncomfortable being friends with a man when you know he’s trying to turn it into something more than friends. You need to accept the no and move on. If you want to be her friend, be her friend, but don’t tell her your goal is to change her mind (because that’s what your response translates to)

upvote 12 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #2 1d

Not accepting her no because you believe she just needs to get to know you better is really creepy icl. A no is a no

upvote 10 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> OP 1d

I didnt like ask her out, i complimented her then said id like to get to know her more, her response is kinda why I think theres a shot

upvote 1 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> OP 1d

You think you have a chance because she told you she’s not interested in dating you and only sees you as a friend? Are you just not listening to women?

upvote 8 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> OP 1d

you can only understand the emotions of the words youre reading, but you dont know exactly what vibe there was so no need to be belligerent towards me. i just want to know how I can proceed as to not make anything worse if its actually bad on my part, or how I could make the situation better overall

upvote 0 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> OP 1d

The best thing you can do is to not try to date her. She already told you that she’s only interested in getting to know you as friends and nothing beyond that. You messed up by implying to her that you would still try to make advances on her if you remained friends. So the best thing you can do now is to not make any advances and just stay her friend, like she told you she wanted

upvote 9 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> OP 1d

okay thank you so much, I was unsure of how I should actually go forward, i dont think theres no shot, but I wont be the one who makes any advancement to give her that respect

upvote 1 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> OP 1d

If you think there might still be a chance, definitely keep it to yourself and let HER make moves if she ever wants to, don’t make any moves on her. You never know, maybe she has a cool friend she can introduce you to later on who will end up being a good match for you

upvote 10 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> OP 1d

okay, i appreciate this, it definitely helped gather my thoughts about it, im going to be her friend, like she said she wanted

upvote 6 downvote