Ask Women on Sidechat | My gf and I were randomly talking about kids and I said I’d want an abortion if somehow we found out they would be disabled, like deaf, autistic, Down syndrome, etc. she got really mad at this. Am I really in the wrong here?

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Ask Women 1w

My gf and I were randomly talking about kids and I said I’d want an abortion if somehow we found out they would be disabled, like deaf, autistic, Down syndrome, etc. she got really mad at this. Am I really in the wrong here?

Anonymous 1w

She’s pro choice like me to be clear

Anonymous 1w

Personally you’re not. I wouldn’t want a kid that can’t enjoy their life and won’t be treated close to the same as others.

Anonymous 1w

i’m pro choice and yes you’re in the wrong. if you aren’t going to love your child no matter what then don’t get pregnant and put your partner through that. you’re also just blatantly showing your ableism. learn sign language, read books on raising a kid with down syndrome, learn to be a fucking parent

Anonymous 1w

Also you can’t really know if they’re autistic until later in life

Anonymous 1w

I don’t think you’re wrong. I would agree.

Anonymous 1w

You’re entitled to having that preference, the only thing I’d caution is that she seems to have a diff opinion on that which might cause problems if you guys ever actually *do* face this scenario

Anonymous 1w

i have a few friends with autism who i wouldn’t even know have autism until they tell me. they’re lovely, smart, funny, and awesome people who i regard dearly. i don’t think that’s the best argument for abortion. a life threatening condition where they will only have moments, months, or only a few years to live and it will be agonizing and painful for them, for sure i see that or a condition that will most likely lead to the fetus not even reaching full term also makes sense to abort.

Anonymous

#2 1w

But the child isn’t born yet….. if the child was born, I don’t think he would just abandon it. He’s just saying if he could prevent it, then he will. And I agree.

Anonymous

#2 1w

Comment like these made Donald trump resident twice. Calm your hormones

Anonymous

#3 1w

i understand that, but that’s still not fair to your partner to put them through that just because you don’t want to learn how to be a parent to someone that is going to face struggles

Anonymous

#3 1w

what the fuck are you talking about😭

Anonymous

#2 1w

Alright I’ll repeat myself, if you admit that someone is going to face struggles, just make it easier for yourself and for them and get an abortion.

Anonymous

#3 1w

i understand what you’re saying, but every single person is going to have struggles one way or another. most disabilities or mental illnesses you won’t find out till after the baby is born. what then? do you see what i mean? people are allowed to get an abortion if they want too, i’m all for it. but i’m also allowed to have an opinion on a topic that asked for opinions 😭

Anonymous

#2 1w

Yeah you don’t sound smart at all. I’m allowed too, plus to answer your question, there’s nothing you can do after the baby is born. That’s not the argument. We’re talking about aborting it and you just came up with a different situation

Anonymous

#3 1w

you’re really not understanding what i’m saying and that’s fine, but you don’t have to resort to being rude. i was originally talking about abortion and you didn’t like that answer so i gave a new one. now for the love of God, can you please just drop this cause it’s clear you aren’t seeing my side

Anonymous

#3 1w

“Calm your hormones” is wild.

Anonymous

#6 1w

autistic? i don’t see. i also don’t understand deaf as i’ve, again, had deaf friends and peers who are lovely, normal, functioning, amazing people. down syndrome is a little trickier but still hard for me to fully support. ur allowed an opinion but her being upset also makes sense. ur basically telling her that u only want kids with her conditionally.

Anonymous

#6 1w

the issues you listed are not life threatening ones and are risks u take when trying for a child. you’re child could be anything and it’s important to be ready to love them no matter what. a child with disabilities can still live a relatively normal and happy life. obviously severity of the disability can vary but that’s just my take on it. at the end of the day she should be able to do what she wants with her body.

Anonymous

#6 1w

if she’s ready to have that baby despite a potential disability then by all means she should be able to carry it to term imo. getting a little into eugenics territory there if you just terminate a pregnancy solely based on the fact that the future child might not be up to your genetic standards.