Anonymous #1 1w

I’m sorry. I genuinely don’t know what’s wrong with it. I talk about some of my interests. I also don’t want to hide I have BPD because I don’t want that to be a surprise. And I’ve seen people write down things that would make them fall in love so I added that as well. I’m very much open to constructive criticism here

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Anonymous #1 1w

Adding on that my BPD does make me misinterpret a lot of social cues and not understand a lot of things that aren’t said very literally. So if anything is offensive or off putting in my bio please tell me cause I legit don’t know. I just don’t have a ton of dating experience so I’m not super certain what to even put in my bio

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Anonymous OP 1w

r u on the spectrum

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Anonymous #1 1w

Yeah. It’s the BPD plus the combo of ADHD, Anxiety, OCD. BPD is the biggest ringer tho. Basically is the biggest problem with understanding norms and what people are saying/not understanding implications

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Anonymous OP 1w

what about autism

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Anonymous #2 1w

Oh. I genuinely didn’t get that from what I posted. I will say that someone having BPD doesn’t make them crazy. I don’t like how you went to that conclusion. Although if that’s what’s coming across could you please tell me what to change? Do girls not like a guy that would be super devoted to them?

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Anonymous #1 1w

Not Autistic. Although it was speculated by one person. The stuff I listed is what I’ve actually been diagnosed with. But ADHD is part of the spectrum it’s self just on the opposite end. Most of my misunderstandings or worries stems from the BPD aspect. (Borderline personality disorder. Not Bipolar, if that was unclear)

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Anonymous strawberry_hair 1w

Quite a lot. Tinder, bumble, her, Taimi, duet, hilly. And some others. Unfortunately not on hinge cause they banned me since I’m trans. Which really sucks ass. But no matter how many times I try to appear and prove that I didn’t break any rules they don’t let me back on. (Literally I read the entire terms and guidelines it was hella long. I didn’t break any rules even accidentally)

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Anonymous OP 1w

Devoted and immediately attached are very different. No one wants someone hanging off them after one date

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Anonymous #2 1w

Even if the bio didn't mention BPD it would still be quite off-putting. having had experience with BPD partners, I am wary of that as well, but the rest of it is bad on its own. "Touch starved" comes across as "trying to get laid," ranting about skateboards is not going to be attractive to most people, don't know what monster high is so pass on that, the falling in love thing is really bad, guys trying to pick me up is extremely bad, and telling the girl to be in charge is a lot off the bat.

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Anonymous #2 1w

I understand the second half. But I am struggling figuring out the difference between devoted and immediate attached? Is devoted not being loyal to someone and wanting to be around them? I often see bios where girls say they want a guy who’s obsessed with them or worships them. How much would be an appropriate amount of like? I’m obviously not planning any wedding bells or anything. But thinking a girls awesome, wanting to hang out more, is that too much? What should I swap out in the bio?

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Anonymous #2 1w

Oh! Thank you. I genuinely didn’t get that. Im aegosexual so im very much not out to be getting laid or anything. (It’s a form of Asexuality). I meant touch starved in the I like hugs/cuddling way. I don’t want to hide that I have BPD though. Since I want someone to be aware that I do have it off the bat so they don’t feel mislead. Monster high is actually quite common in a lot of areas, specifically y2k girls/guys. I can def edit the skateboard thing to be less showy.

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Anonymous #2 1w

The pick up thing was cause I thought a lot of girls liked when a guy was physically strong. Should I insert a different phrase or scrap it all together? I guess I just don’t know what would catch someone’s eye

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Anonymous OP 1w

If you're physically strong, it'll be apparent to someone you're with in person. You could say something a little less aggressive like "Really into fitness" or "let me know if you want a gym buddy" (or something like that). "Touch starved" definitely comes across as a horny thing, trust me. You can also express a desire to be in a devoted relationship by saying... basically exactly that, I guess, but definitely avoid saying you're going to fall in love with someone if they think about you once.

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Anonymous #2 1w

And again there's a huge difference between a girl saying on her bio "I want someone dedicated to me" and you saying "I am going to fall in love with you" lol

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Anonymous strawberry_hair 1w

Tinder isn’t any worse than hinge you will find matches on both or none lol

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Anonymous OP 1w

Yeah being trans likely doesn’t make things any easier. I wouldn’t say anything about the skateboards, maybe instead say a goal of yours?

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Anonymous OP 1w

Hinge doesn’t ban people for being trans at least trans women. That means a ton of women are probably reporting you for some reason lmao. And they say men are more homophobic 💀

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Anonymous #2 1w

Okay!!! Will do. Someone below also said I’m too genuine with prompts and a lot of guys simply say less. So I guess less is more in this situation? Would something like, ‘Looking to be in a devoted relationship, I like skateboarding, monster high, and calisthenics. Into intimacy not hookups. Also have BPD’ suffice? Tried to nail all your points. (Thank you for telling me btw. i genuinely came here to learn and understand stuff. It really is a struggle for me and I want to improve)

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Anonymous #4 1w

Ah! I guess that’s a struggle too, I tend to be very rambly and over share a lot. (BPD symptom annoyingly. Honestly fuck BPD so hard it’s a b!tch). I don’t have like. Six pack abs or anything, when you say photos that speak for themselves do you mean more like shirtless picks? Or like, cinematography pics? Cinema I can attempt but I’m like what someone would call ‘skinny fat’. So I doubt any shirtless pics would look cool

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Anonymous OP 1w

I think that would definitely be an improvement. I know it's a sensitive subject but I really would suggest not putting BPD front and center like that. If you hit it off with someone and you're talking, by all means tell them. I think it's very admirable that you want to be forthright about it, but I wouldn't put it in your intro like that.

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Anonymous #4 1w

I really don’t get why. It was very odd too cause I had actually stopped using hinge for a few months since I become involved with someone, and I wasn’t banned when I left. Then suddenly I come back after months and it says I’m banned? I don’t know how since I wasn’t even on there to be banned. I combed through the guidelines and everything. Maybe it was a revenge report or something. I only talked to a couple people on their anyway

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Anonymous #2 1w

In the past I’ve just had people react really negatively and accuse me of being misleading because it wasn’t in my bio. And idk, to me it’s like someone saying they have autism or adhd or are in a wheelchair, like it lets the person know there talking to someone with a disorder/disability. I’m trying to combat the stigma of BPD a bit by being open about it. Hiding it makes it seem like I’m ashamed of it no?

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Anonymous #4 1w

Well I’m a trans guy so? They might have banned me for that. And trust I despise homophobia. It’s suck an ick

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Anonymous OP 1w

If that's your experience with it then I'm not gonna argue it with you, and yeah I totally understand why you want to be up front about it. that said – I'm trying to help you get some matches so that's my advice lol

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Anonymous #2 1w

No I get it! I definitely appreciate your help too. I think I’ll keep that lil blurb just for the reasons I brought up. But I’ll add everything else you said! A very hearty thank you to you!

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Anonymous #2 1w

Also, someone mentioned below I need my photos to speak for themselves, I’m strong but I don’t have like six back abs or am visibly ripped or anything. I know a lot go guys post shirtless pics. But like, should I do that? Even if I’m not the deal physique or anything? Or is more cinematic photos better. Mine are just me doing things I like or dressed up for an event or me and my dog/cat.

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Anonymous OP 1w

Shirtless pictures increase the amount of matches but unfortunately in order to be allowed to use them you have to be in significant shape which it sounds like they won’t work for you

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Anonymous #4 1w

No basically you have to learn what women on the app want to see and replicate it even if it’s fake and not your real lifestyle then you may see some more matches

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Anonymous #4 1w

Lmao I might be able to try a single shirtless pic. You can see my abs just a teensy bit in the top part of my torso. Lmao I guess I could wear high waisted pants in it 😭. I also have a lot of pics of me with my pets and I feel like that always gets some eyes

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Anonymous OP 1w

If you don’t have abs or are muscular then don’t do a shirtless pic it will have a negative effect. Now if you can get one (should be easy if on test) then you can benefit but be shaved chest

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Anonymous OP 1w

Personally I would immediately swipe past anyone with a shirtless pic regardless of the physique. Can't speak for others but I have to imagine it's more of a turn off than not.

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Anonymous #4 1w

Lmao it’s actually way harder than you’d think 😭. While I do think I’m stronger it definitely hasn’t helped much in turns of building physical muscle. It’s also much harder for me to loose weight cause I have bad asthma so I can’t do really any cardio 💀. And I’ve been in calorie deficit for years but it doesn’t really do much for me. I will say I do think I’m in my best shape I’ve been for a long time

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Anonymous OP 1w

Blud you practically on roids get a trainer if you need

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Anonymous #4 1w

Lmaoooo I wish. I have zero monies. But it is something I’ve considered

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Anonymous OP 1w

Nah I mean the test is a form of roids pretty much so you already have some buff when it comes to gaining. You just need to learn to do the rest right. Easier said than done Ik

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