Ask Women on Sidechat | Why do women say “the bar is the floor” and “men are never respectful so that’s all you have to do” when the majority of men are respectful when approaching and still have a dismal success rate?

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Ask Women 11w

Why do women say “the bar is the floor” and “men are never respectful so that’s all you have to do” when the majority of men are respectful when approaching and still have a dismal success rate?

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Anonymous 11w

I have never been approached in public by a guy before. I have been harassed in public. None of my friends, queer or not have been approached in public. I’ve had more men comment on my appearance, ass, dresses, makeup etc then I have ever had a guy approach me nicely. The bar is in hell. Me and my ex broke up because he couldn’t communicate. Like he would not tell me if something was upsetting him.

Anonymous 10w

I've never been approached respectfully, not once. Whenever I've been approached it's usually been extremely sexual, or like I'm not a person. It's dehumanizing.

Anonymous 11w

Not saying you have to date a man who is respectful to you ofc, but don’t lie and say it’s easy

Anonymous 11w

I’ve never been approached irl for a date. Like the strawberry, I’ve just been harassed and catcalled. I have standards, but so does everyone, and frankly mine aren’t out of this world

Anonymous 11w

I have the best bf now but before him, I was only ever approached by being verbally harassed. And when I turned the guy down, he turned the disrespect up🫩

Anonymous 11w

95% of sexually active men reported using sexually coercive tendencies. The most common was lying to get sex. 10% used straight up obvious rape. Men do a lower share of the housework on average. Many women have been murdered while pregnant, drugged, and raped by their partner. One of the most dangerous things we can do is get married. The bar is in hell.

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Anonymous

strawberry_hair 11w

All women want is someone who can communicate, isn’t sex crazy, nice, doesn’t smell bad and meets a few more expectations depending on the person. You would be SHOCKED about how low women’s standards are.

Anonymous

strawberry_hair 11w

Maybe that’s what you and your friends want. Most women want far more

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Anonymous

OP 11w

You really don’t know a lot about how awful dating is. One look online on instagram and there’s videos of how women stayed with men who were absolutely incompetent. You asked a question. I’ve seen my friends dating apps. I’ve seen how hard it is to date- I experienced it. You seeing a few things on social media to the contrary is not the real thing.

Deleted 11w

Comment Deleted

Anonymous 11w

Experience

-4

Anonymous

strawberry_hair 11w

I never said anything about the difficulty of dating. I said women want more than just a guy who isn’t the worst to ever live

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Anonymous

OP 11w

Well yeah duh. Of course we want better. That doesn’t mean it’s hard to not be the worst.

Anonymous

strawberry_hair 11w

Perhaps I should’ve said “require” instead

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Anonymous

OP 11w

You asked a question and are refusing the answer.

Anonymous

OP 11w

Research actually indicates that for both men and women, kindness is a top deciding quality in romantic interest. Number one, if I recall correctly. So when women say the bar is in hell, it makes sense to conclude that it is lack of kindness they take issue with.

Anonymous

#5 11w

To be clear, this isn’t how men are or how they’re meant to be. Young boys start out as innocent and compassionate as young girls. It is society and patriarchy that turns men into monsters.

Anonymous

#6 3w

Sorry about that. I had one respectful approach. I was tabling for a club. He did a funny little move where he motioned like he was going to pull me off the table. Later he found me in the dining hall and asked me out. I politely declined because I was in a relationship, and he left without complaining or being an asshole about it. I hope he’s happy wherever he is.