Anonymous #1 2w

THIS. Is it hard to connect with mom? Does she say questionable things, does she seem rude/closed off? Have there been any previous issues? Need a little more context if you want a better answer, but #1 has got the best advice rn

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Anonymous #2 2w

Also I don’t know if you’ve ever seen the movie “The Family Stone” but basically Sarah Jessica Parker feels like her fiances family hates her (tbf she was an ass for like the first 45 minutes) but she’s very stuck up and eventually her fiances brother was like… u just need to chill out… you don’t have to TRY so hard to get us to like you. Sometimes we want people to like us so bad that it just ends up seeming overbearing. Also, give it time. It’s nobody’s fault that you and her might not be bffs

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Anonymous #2 2w

her mom has made uncomfortable comments to me about my family and is a raging alcoholic who has done very horrible things to my gf. i am respectful to her and chat with her on occasion but it just kinda feels like she’s constantly pressing me on things. i told my girlfriend but i asked her not to say anything to her mom bc i also don’t wanna make her feel bad or things be awkward

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Anonymous OP 2w

okay so my mom was actually also a raging alcoholic who did horrible things to me too, and has said/done weird things to my friends/partners. the line I’ve learned to say when asked a question that’s invasive is “I can move past you asking if you can move past me not answering.” You don’t have to answer everything, but you don’t have to shut down the conversation, either. It’s very tough to want to get along with her mom because you care about her, but props to you for prioritizing your gf.

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Anonymous #2 2w

I think i’m just nervous but also it’s her special day and if doing that trip will make her happy then i should just power through right? and if something does go wrong then we can discuss it afterwards

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Anonymous OP 2w

yes, i think you should power through. here’s the thing: - your gf loves you and probably her mom if she wants to travel w her. - it’s reasonable and valid for you to not like gfs mom because of what she’s done to gf - props to you for being respectful - however, you have a more limited relationship and view of mom and moms relationship w gf - it’s possible that you might be limiting the relationship off because you’re being protective. this would be worth talking/thinking about

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Anonymous #2 2w

your gf has gone through the process of emotions and boundaries and maintaining a relationship it sounds, sometimes knowing about the bad things makes us view people from a focused lens (can be for you and mom). the problem is not caring, to be clear, it’s that sometimes we just get stuck with tunnel vision that might cause tension for everyone involved

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