Anonymous #2 4w

To roughly summarize it was a horny man saying basically “I want to have sex with this girl while she sleeps but I don’t know her very well” and a commenter was arguing that it’s hot and okay to do

36

Anonymous OP 4w

Just something you gotta talk to the girl about ima real note

7

Anonymous OP 4w

This isn’t even a grey area it’s just rape 💀

18

Anonymous #4 4w

The grey area is the whole “she gave consent prior” thing. It’s not smart to engage in Cnc with someone who you don’t know well 😭

12

Anonymous OP 4w

If she gave prior consent to waking her up beforehand and shes into cnc which is already discussed then what’s supposed to be grey about that.

-1

Anonymous #5 4w

The fact that you don’t know her very well and don’t fully trust eachother? Legally consent has to be in the moment, not a prior agreement

14

Anonymous OP 4w

If consent has to be in the moment every time then when does it stop, doesnt that literally ruin the whole point of cnc by literally asking? If they aren’t ready for kinky stuffs then maybe they shouldn’t bring it up until later. Props to the guy for being hesitant to avoid any miscommunication tho. What logical person gives consent to cnc play with someone they don’t trust…

-4

Anonymous #5 4w

Yeah that’s kinda the point, that’s why cnc should only be done with someone you trust an insane amount bc it can legally be considered rape in a court of law. (It’s a whole other conversation about if it’s prosecutable or not and would depend on evidence ect). it’s dumb to go ahead and do the cnc with the person you don’t trust even if they gave you permission

16

Anonymous OP 4w

If they gave me personal then im assuming they trust me enough to do it, women arent gonna open up to something like that real easy unless they really trust you. I’d consider it a good green light. Anything someone else says is just noise.

-1

Anonymous #5 4w

The responsibility isn’t solely on the women, both people need to use better judgement. Just bc she says it’s ok doesn’t mean there’s any meaningful amount of trust built up, and I don’t understand why a man would take that risk and risk SA allegations bc they did something with a woman they don’t fully trust

4

Anonymous OP 4w

The responsibility is literally on the woman wdym, she literally gave consent I don’t understand how much deeper it’s supposed to be than that. You can’t micromanage someone elses kinks, just speak up if you have a problem it doesn’t take a genuis. If she says yes then Im assuming it’s a yes is it not? He can ask if shes really sure about it after the first or second time and then it’s chill.

-1

Anonymous OP 4w

I don’t know women to just give up consent that easily in situations like cnc so if she gave that up she’s probably highly interested and comfortable. That’s my automatic assumption, if he isnt sure then HE should ask because obviously hes on a different page than she is.

-1

Anonymous #5 4w

Again legally speaking consent needs to be given in the moment or else it is legally considered rape. Why would you engage in sex that can legally be considered rape with a girl you don’t trust??? That’s dumb asf

7

Anonymous #5 4w

You completely misunderstand🤦🏻‍♀️

11

Anonymous OP 4w

BECAUSE THATS LITERALLY THE POINT OF CNC ROLEPLAY??? Like i don’t get what you’re trying to say, imagine a womans fantasy kink is cnc and mid way through starting you’re asking her for consent, which literally isnt the whole point of cnc. Like that’s such a kill to the vibe like you must be scared.

0

Anonymous OP 4w

I would engage in sex with a woman that’s risky, if she gives consent were cool, and if its cnc roleplay that we discussed beforehand then I already know what’s up. If she isnt down she’ll just stop me or tell me to let her sleep, it aint deep.

0

Anonymous #5 4w

Bruh🤦🏻‍♀️ i genuinely don’t understand what’s not connecting. There’s no way I’m going to get you to understand what I’m saying I guess💀

5

Anonymous #5 4w

What do you not understand about it legally being rape if consent isn’t given in the moment. So by nature Cnc can legally be considered rape. Therefore by participating in Cnc you are taking on great risk as a man. So it’s important to only do it with trusted partners EVEN AS A MAN, that’s your responsibility🤦🏻‍♀️ Genuinely I cannot help you understand any further. Idk how else to make this concept make sense to you

4

Anonymous OP 4w

I mean what’s your point? You are legitimately saying that everytime before sex he should deliberately ask for consent even in cnc situations where she already gave consent to him. I dont see a problem with asking for consent but onces youve had sex multiple times in relationships you stop asking and it’s either the mood is right or we save it for later. Its that simple, but im not deliberately asking consent in cnc roleplay, like maybe asking before we start is cool but if i ruin the vibe for-

0

Anonymous OP 4w

her that just sucks. You would have a good point if this was about a new couple having sex who arent sure if its cool at all to do but not a cnc roleplay shi. Thats a different level.

0

Anonymous #5 4w

That’s not what I’m saying💀

3

Anonymous OP 4w

By taking part in cnc YOU ARE taking great risk as a man, that’s literally the whole shtick of cnc, either she wakes up and i ask her or i do subtle fondling and then she tell me to let her sleep, it’s really simple to not end up in jail regardless. Assuming she gave him prior consent and it hasnt been explored yet she’s likely waiting for him to make a move at some point, I dont get what your point is. If you participate cnc the whole point is to not ask consent, your either down or you arent.

-1

Anonymous OP 4w

So then what is it, that their connection for the relationship should be stronger and communcated a lot more before specific kinks like this?

9

Anonymous #5 4w

The point is, even as a man, DO NOT PARTICIPATE IN CNC with a partner you don’t fully know and trust. I genuinely don’t understand your confusion here I’ve been so clear this entire time

2

Anonymous #5 4w

Like do you not understand the concept of the grey area of consent? Sex under the influence of drugs or sex that was consented to prior to the moment is grey area sex and extremely risky. You should only bc doing it with trusted partners I feel like that’s obvious

10

Anonymous OP 4w

I mean yea sure but like if we’ve already had sex multiple times you can “ask” for consent by basic bodily touching, not rushing it but gauging how ready they are, it’s simple. You take a risk regardless participating in cnc with anyone even a trusted partner because at a moments notice things can go awry.

0

Anonymous #5 4w

Implied consent exists.. but you cannot imply consent while you are fucking sleeping

9

Anonymous OP 4w

Unless the last mfs girl said it under the influence then id consider that risky, but if she didn’t and was sober i se no problem. Grey areas are either moments of emotional vulnerability or under the influence of which niether one was said. So…

-1

Anonymous #5 4w

And that’s like the entire point, Cnc is risky so only do it with the most trusted of partners🤦🏻‍♀️why are you arguing with this😭

7

Anonymous OP 4w

She can imply consent because ill be subtly touching enough to wake her up, once she’s awake i can gauge how comfortable she is, if we already discussed cnc roleplay while fully aware whats the risk?

-1

Anonymous #5 4w

Genuinely cannot continue the conversation if you cannot grasp that consent NEEDS to be in the moment, not a prior agreement. It’s grey area. I’m not continuing this conversation, you need to do some major reflecting on sexual safety regarding your partners consent, consent to kink is not something that’s implied, these are things that need to be discussed thoroughly. My point has always been that if you are asking “should I wake her up with my cock? I don’t know if she’d be into it or not”..

8

Anonymous OP 4w

then the trust is not there and the answer is no you should not. Basic common sense I fear

4

Anonymous OP 4w

Im not arguing that, it seems like your saying consent isnt consent even when consent is verbally stated. Im saying consent is consent when consent is already said. Gauge the mood and the night for a better combination but genuinely who is asking to have sex every single time with their partner in general?

0

Anonymous #5 4w

“Legally, consent is a freely given, voluntary, informed, and ongoing agreement or permission for a specific act, often sexual, requiring clear, affirmative communication (a "yes") and lacking coercion, incapacitation (drugs, alcohol, sleep), or deception; it must be present for every step, can be withdrawn anytime, and isn't implied by silence or past behavior. “ It’s not my opinion it’s the law

8

Anonymous OP 4w

I wouldn’t immediately wake her up to my pp in her cooch thats too quick, chances are I wouldn’t even make a move if I wasnt sure but if she already said yes before to literally let me do it I dont see the problem. Consent is in the moment when either she physically shows signs or tells me to let her sleep, I dont think thats a big deal, just dont rush it.

0

Anonymous OP 4w

It just sounds like your arguing from a standpoint of “I’m not sure if shes into this but lets find out” and if that’s what your saying then thats literally just grape. If she said shes into it though then its chill.

0

Anonymous #5 4w

Bruh the post I quoted quite literally said he wasn’t sure if she’d be into it. WHY ARE YOU ARGUING

10

Anonymous OP 4w

Exactly, and you can find out whether or not when you wake her up and your arms are around her or something, if she didn’t consent though she didn’t consent.

0

Anonymous #5 4w

Legally speaking she needs to be fully awake

4

Anonymous OP 4w

So basically weve been arguing two entirely different standpoints the entire time…

-1

Anonymous #5 4w

And the post quite literally said “wake her up with my cock” so idk why you are adding your own context that wasn’t even there💀

7

Anonymous OP 4w

Legally speaking yes but if weve already agreed to cnc then im starting lmao. It aint that deep for real.

0

Anonymous #5 4w

Stop switching back and forth, this isn’t about you it’s about the post I quoted. He said he didn’t know if she’d would be into it.

8

Anonymous #5 4w

Oh but then it’s that deep when your boy gets “falsely accused” bc he woke a girl up with his cock without ever discussing it or knowing if she’s into it or even trusting her

13

Anonymous OP 4w

When you said “prior consent” id assumed it was about the guy and his girl discussing cnc roleplay. Wasnt adding context but arguing a different standpoints, were literally on two different sides of two different arguments lmao it doesn’t even matter atp the convo is over.

0

Anonymous #5 4w

I’m saying even if she did give prior consent. She clearing didn’t considering he said he wasn’t sure if she’d be into it. Let’s use common sense?

2

Anonymous #5 4w

You’ve spent so long arguing why it’s chill to assault girls in their sleep

4

Anonymous OP 4w

I cant see the post anyway, it’s not that deep unless bro is literally assaulting a woman, THATS a problem. Waking a girl up who isnt talked to or even gave prior consent to cnc is jusf weirdo behavior

6

Anonymous #5 4w

So why tf are you arguing with me??? I have the context btw you replied to it and started this argument. What a strange dude

3

Anonymous OP 4w

Nope, ive been arguing that if he and her have talked about cnc being okay in her sleep then i dont see the problem in him literally acting that out. Where is the problem when she literally gave a green light.

0

Anonymous OP 4w

That’s what I literally just told you, were on two different sides of two different arguments. Nothing we say correlates as a fully connected debate.

0

Anonymous #5 4w

We’re not going back around again, you couldn’t understand I’m not wasting my time explaining why it’s still grey area sex even if consent was given prior

0

Anonymous #5 4w

Idk what side you are arguing but this is my post lmao

1

Anonymous OP 4w

Theres no grey area of consent in how specifically cnc roleplay is ALREADY ON THE TABLE AND COOL. Thats not grey thats green, if she literally hasnt said its okay thats just RED. YOU DONT DO THAT. Its a very simple concept.

0

Anonymous #5 4w

This is why consent needs to be taught in detain in schools bc holy fuck consent needs to be in the moment why can’t you understand

6

Anonymous OP 4w

Im arguing if she has already consented to cnc roleplay beforehand while fully aware and said its fine you can do it. If it has NEVER been stated or IS NOT FULLY SURE, then you just dont do it. It aint that deep. You either got consent or you dontx

0

Anonymous #5 4w

I’m not saying it’s wrong to have grey area sex people do it all the time. Just acknowledge that it is the grey area of consent Jesus Christ 🤣

1

Anonymous #5 4w

“Already consented” isn’t a thing. Simple concept

6

Anonymous #5 4w

It is that deep tho that’s how people get raped

4

Anonymous OP 4w

I do understand how consent works it’s very simple, people give physical cues and show through their body whether they consent or not, but im not deliberately getting on my knees and asking for her to have sex with me because that literally feels like begging for pocket change lmao. Only a loser is doing that, theres sexy ways to ask consent but i dont think you understand what im talking about

-1

Anonymous OP 4w

Already consented means that x idea is on the table, but not that it’s ways going to play through, but if we talked about cnc night roleplay the same day or night before sleep and now were sleep thats lowkey prior consent, if I wasnt going to act it out then, why would i keep her on her toes waiting, that requires asking. But same night? She’ll show body language signs.

-1

Anonymous OP 4w

Yeah that’s what people who suck at judging body language do. If you can’t tell when someone is comfortable or not you shouldn’t move forward.

-1

Anonymous OP 4w

Already consented is a thing only specific to cnc roleplay if its within a close timeframe, it shes mentioned it im assuming its cool and if it isnt then by body language and verbal cues ill know. Its called moving slow.

-1

Anonymous OP 4w

Waking up your girl with pp in her cooch when she never said it was okay is grape. Thats obvious, speak about things before hand before trying anything new. Its simple, but normal baseline sex? Id feel weird if my gf deliberately needed me to verbally ask everytime, probably look into childhood issues or why she feels uncomfortable than just specifically asking because sometimes it isnt just consent but trustz

-1

Anonymous OP 4w

I don’t get what it means to have sex with someone while they sleep.. it would probably wake you up before it even started

0

Anonymous #6 4w

That’s what im thinking too so like regardless shes either going to consent or not, just sticking it in straight up pre consent or already consented while shes asleep is still weird

1

Anonymous #5 4w

“Only losers ask for consent” is such a dumbass take respectfully. Your attitude is how people get raped.

6

Anonymous #4 4w

No, what i mean is if i have to verbally ask my partner or fwb for literal verbal consent as in “Can I have sex with you” that is some loser shit. That’s basically begging atp I don’t get in relationships with the benefit of sex being turned into something like a favor i have to ask for, it’s mutual and if the mood permits so then let it be. But im not outright asking, only desperate people do that. You don’t need to ask if you can read body language.

-1

Anonymous #4 4w

I don’t get in a relationship with the benefit of sex being turned into something we both need verbal permission to engage in every time, that sounds extremely transactional and dulls the mood so badly. It’s better when you both get turned on and just start touching eachother vs verbally getting on your knees and begging. Maybe some people want that but I don’t, that begging shit aint for me if she wants a submissive loser then she needs somebody else.

0

Anonymous #5 4w

Yeah I know what you mean and I’m telling you it’s dumb lmao. Real talk, being unable to ask somebody for sex because ur ego is to fragile is the actual loser behavior here. Like if you’re so lacking in self confidence that asking for consent makes you feel “like a loser” you got stuff to unpack buddy. Fact is sex IS something you have to ask for. That’s what consent is.

4

Anonymous #4 4w

Like “reading body language” is also deadass how I got raped. What’s more important to you: feeling like a super cool tough guy who’s too stoic to communicate his wants? Or not raping somebody? Because fundamentally that’s the calculation you’re making.

3

Anonymous #4 4w

It’s not even about ego, it’s really just about not dealing with some girl trying to verbally reject me to fufill some sort of need she has to feel validated by knowing shes wanted and holding that “power”. If you knew how much women are attention 304’s you’d get it. Sex ISNT something you should have to ask for, it should be a natural flow of emotions, body language, mood, and timing. If im asking for it then that kind of ruins the whole point of sex actually being something special I do with-

-1

Anonymous #4 4w

My partner, im not asking to enjoy her body im asking to enjoy time with her lol, and id rather not deal with multiple rejections and just waiting for something to happen, im fine with just not asking at all or letting situations play out. It really isn’t that deep but im not gonna be put on the sidelines as an ego boost to fufill some missing aspect of a womans insecurity. We either have sex or we don’t it’s really simple, look at any movie or show, when couples aren’t in the mood-

-1

Anonymous #4 4w

they just stop or say they arent ready, it’s a less than 30 second process, I really dont think it’s that deep but idk maybe im just annoyed by women who need ego boost.

-1

Anonymous #4 4w

Not graping somebody is easy when you know how to read body language lmaooo. Id rather keep my sanity intact than feeling like another ego boost to another insecure woman. But on the flip side it’s literally a need to make sure people you just met are cool with sex, eg are you sure and comfortable like questions, once you get like a month and plus down after like 10+ times of intimacy people stop asking and just get rejected. Its very simple. Wait for another time or do it yourself idk.

-1

Anonymous #5 4w

That’s a really long way to say it’s about ego and you don’t care enough about raping people to just ask for consent but ok

3

Anonymous #4 4w

Sure it can slightly be about my own ego but it gets to a point, it’s legitimately one of the most annoying things to ask someone for sex when they’ve been edging you on all day about doing things just to literally kill the mood by saying no bcs wtf are you even doing then. I dont mind mutual games but im not turning myself into another ego boost for an insecure woman because the moment you stop asking or giving that they think youre cheating or seeing someone else and then you get some wishy-

-1

Anonymous #4 4w

washy pity sex and the loop starts again. Im not playing that game, either get cracked or dont, im asking once and never again it’s that simple, atp she has to ask me cause im really not gonna make any moves on her if i feel like shes getting off on the attention fr. Nobody finna get graped you literally got your head in the clouds, aint hard to tell when someones in the mood or not, just stop and do something else, or ask in sexy ways etc. I dont get why you think it always has to be about grap

-1

Anonymous #5 4w

“I’m not defending rape” *starts talking about how it’s not necessary to ask for consent and how asking for consent is for losers* 🫩

3

Anonymous #5 4w

“Reading body language” is also how I got raped. I told him no multiple times and he did it anyway. He probably assumed it was fine bc I just laid there and didn’t push him off of me. Newsflash, you need to ask for consent with new people, it’s not loser begging🫩 and if you genuinely think asking for consent makes you a begging loser than you have serious issues to work out

2

Anonymous #5 4w

What are you saying here? “If she’s been teasing me all day I’m not asking and giving her the chance to reject me, I’m just going to have sex with her” Is that the point you are making? Idk how this conversation about consent has divulged into “women are annoying either get cracked or don’t, and asking for consent is begging and only losers do it”

3

Anonymous #5 4w

“Oh nooooooo I have to tell the person I want to have sex with that I want to have sex with them nooooooo!!! And then the person I want to have sex with has to say they want to have sex with me too oh nooooooooooo!!” What a fucking chud lmao

2

Anonymous #4 4w

Like maybe if you’re not mature enough to verbalize your feelings and rejection sends you into a tailspin like you’re describing you’re not mature enough to have sex. Grow up man.

3

Anonymous #5 4w

Also stop saying “grape” it’s mad insulting tbh.

5

Anonymous #4 4w

Literally, the tiktok terms🫩

4

Anonymous #4 4w

Oh my god, your a bunch of women so you could really never understand what im saying. Theres no point in trying to explain it because you think im pushing boundaries when im not getting my point across on GRAPE. I’m mature enough to verbalize my own emotions and feelings but when you get turned into a joke and an ego boost you start to avoid ways of people trying to use you for attention. Ive already verbalized my dissatisfaction to this and women literally treat it like a joke so no im not-

-1

Anonymous #4 4w

going to ask and im not going to push anything on them either. Once they say no im just not going to ask again especially if i can tell their just playing games for an ego boost, its really simple. But like I said you aren’t a man so you wouldn’t understand it.

-1

Anonymous #5 4w

Yeah for whatever reason rape and violating consent makes sense to a lot of men, and your right we probably just can’t understand your logic

3

Anonymous #5 4w

Lmao why did you comment on my other post pretending to be a woman??

6

Anonymous OP 4w

Nobody said anything about grape and violation what are you on about. Let me explain it like this, “Im with my fwb or partner and the mood seems to be going good so we make out and as i move down to kiss her neck or something she just says “im tired” or “not right now”. We stop and that’s it, not deliberately ruining a possible good mood by outright saying it but gauging a environment to see where it goes. Its really simple, although on a flip side if it’s a girl I barely know or weve slept-

-1

Anonymous #5 4w

Personally that’s much more of a turn off than if you just said “are you in the mood right now”. So simple and easy and no energy wasted or hopes up

5

Anonymous OP 4w

together like once then it’s basically mandatory to ask if we should because we aren’t that comfortable enough yet. I feel like once you get to a certain point in relationship you just either know where it’s going and it happens it doesn’t and it isn’t the right moment. It isn’t that deep as outright asking everytime, i feel like that ruins the whole point of it being sexy and makes it sound transactional like a robot lmao.

0

Anonymous #5 4w

It’s not on her to say no it’s on you to ask. Idk why you have your panties all in a twist about a quick “wanna fuck?”

4

Anonymous OP 4w

See but the point still gets across and now you’re just nitpicking to say anything 🤣. “Are you in the mood right now” works but if you say that in the wrong moment she’ll just get pissed off. Both points get across.

0

Anonymous #5 4w

What kinda girls are you messing with that get pissed off by asking if she’s in the mood?🤦🏻‍♀️

6

Anonymous OP 4w

I don’t have my panties in a twist it’s really not that deep, sometimes i ask which is rare and sometimes it just isn’t the time. Wanna fuck just sounds so basic like I’m not just asking to put my pp in her I want to make it sexy and ill whisper words and cues it’s simple. But im not deliberately saying “Can i have sex with you” That’s such a turn off and like I said if you know your partner you either do the deed or you don’t. You must not be in sex active relationship a lot or have dated anyon

-1

Anonymous OP 4w

The ones that think asking outright is ruining the sexy mood, makes them feel objectified like that’s the only reason youre there when it’s not. For some its an ego boost they like to feel and for others it ruins the spicyness. It just sounds like you’ve never been in a relationship ngl or that you deal with grape trauma

-1

Anonymous #5 4w

Bruh I’m literally in a very happy relationship but the way you say “either we have sex or we don’t” is weird asf. I said from the beginning implied consent is a thing but it’s literally so easy to just ask real quick and it does not make you a loser💀🤣 become more comfortable with rejection, I promise rejection is not as bad when you ask instead of just going straight into it

3

Anonymous #5 4w

You clearly don’t understand women, asking is sexy

4

Anonymous OP 4w

Sure thing, every relationship is different, asking is sexy only if you do it in the right way, same goes for me, im not outright asking for sex but ill allude and use words that get close without ruining the mood for me or her. I dont get why you dont understand this. It just isn’t that deep not everyone’s relationship dynamics are the same. Not all women are the same.

0

Anonymous #5 4w

You keep saying it isn’t that deep but we are literally talking about consent it is that deep. Implied consent is different than just not saying no btw

5

Anonymous OP 4w

Bro, it’s literally your partner, not everything has to be tippytoeing the moment you want something to get done, atp are you still asking to give your partner oral sex or kisses if they havent consented? Youre getting way too deep in this one and its actually annoying. If me and my partner don’t know eachother enough to gauge whether were comfortable enough to have sex or have to ask for it every time then something is missing in how we understand each other and need to work on our connection-

0

Anonymous OP 4w

with each other. idek where your getting at with implied consent like fam you either have sex with your partner or you don’t. Tippy toeing on the topic of sex with my partner would make me feel like something is off. If this was about a new fwb or early talking stage I can see your point and in those situations I always ask even about kissing until we get comfortable enough to go with the flow. Once you reach a certain point you either know, or you don’t, or you get turned down. Goes both ways-

0

Anonymous OP 4w

ive turned down my partner making moves and shes done the same to me, either time wasnt right or you just speak up, not everyone wants point blank rejection so even for her she didn’t like asking cause she’d assume im cheating or sum etc. The whole point being over time of like 3-6 months you should be comfortable enough to understand, anytime before that you need it verbally stated to 100% make sure you on the same page.

0

Anonymous #7 4w

I made the mistake of asking what the original post said bc they r all under my comment 🤧

1