Ask Women on Sidechat | ok, trying to get over rejection sensitivity but my fears are rooted in “am I being a creep”. Normally, I’ll go out to the bars, talk to 1-3 women, get rejected, then go home. Maybe I’ll get a number. But am I giving up too early? Is 3 too many to ask out

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Ask Women 5w

ok, trying to get over rejection sensitivity but my fears are rooted in “am I being a creep”. Normally, I’ll go out to the bars, talk to 1-3 women, get rejected, then go home. Maybe I’ll get a number. But am I giving up too early? Is 3 too many to ask out

Anonymous 5w

Nope perfect number. But go to different bars too so you don’t get a reputation for being desperate asking girls out every time you go in

Anonymous 5w

Iike I guess I’m wondering “if I’m doing everything respectfully, at what point does the amount of people I’ve flirted with become a ‘yea he’s being creepy off numbers alone idc’ amount?”

Anonymous 5w

aw good luck you’ll find someone if u keep applying yourself. maybe focus on building friendships where things can go from there because sometimes it has to happen naturally.

Anonymous

OP 5w

Bc obviously I’m gonna get rejected, that’s a given, but I’m trying to understand how to balance the expectation of “not everything’s gonna work out, and that’s ok” vs “I probably shouldn’t try to get 20 girls’ numbers”

Anonymous

#1 5w

If I’m bar hopping does the counter reset or does that follow ? Sorry I feel like that sounds weird but I gotta ask for research purposes

Anonymous

OP 5w

Counter doesn’t reset more because you might see the same people

Anonymous

OP 5w

It becomes creepy when if you don’t have a good relationship with the bartenders and they feel you’re weird

Anonymous

#2 5w

This is terrible advice lmao, I can explain further but this is how “nice guys” are made when they go out and try to make friends explicitly with people they’re attracted to. I’ve found much much more success/peace in making my intentions clear first :)

Anonymous

#1 5w

Hmm, I guess if I was interacting with bartenders more that would be helpful but I don’t exactly ask my bartender “hey man do you think I’m being a creep”. Kinda thing where the only way I’d find out is in a worst case scenario lol

Anonymous

OP 5w

I’m saying if the bartenders notice you coming in, trying to hit on girls, getting rejected then leaving, you’re gonna be in that group chat as “the weird guy who only talks to girls then leaves”. If it goes on for longer than a few months they’ll probably start telling people before hand “hey don’t interact with that guy he’s kinda weird”

Anonymous

#1 5w

😭😭 for my sanity im gonna be delulu and say that doesn’t happen bc im literally never going out to a bar again if im gonna be judged for going to a social space and trying to socialize

Anonymous

OP 5w

Like idk, I don’t see what’s wrong with going to a bar specifically looking to flirt with people. It’s one of the few spaces left in today’s world where that behavior is generally acceptable/expected. I def don’t *only* flirt but idk… this makes me more anxious 😭😭

Anonymous

OP 5w

Nothings wrong with it but you gotta make sure that you’re seen as a regular bar goer instead of the guy who goes to bars ONLY to flirt

Anonymous

#1 5w

So alcoholic is better than overly flirty? /gen because I kinda figured “gotta balance “regular” and “alcoholic” “

Anonymous

OP 5w

And I mean that in the sense that if like “ the worst way I could be perceived possible, which is worse?”

Anonymous

OP 5w

I mean a lot of bars do karaoke, trivia, dance, so no

Anonymous

#1 5w

Those nights are almost always full of friend groups, is it not also kinda bad to be the guy that shows up to karaoke/trivia all alone?

Anonymous

#1 5w

But that’s a good point, it didn’t need to always be alcohol

Anonymous

OP 5w

No, it’s a main character moment. Plus you can ask if you can join people’s groups if they’ve already got a large group with them. Helps break the ice a bit, get conversation flowing