Anonymous #1 1w

I don’t know if it’s different bc I’m a dude and she didn’t like penetrate me but put it inside her, yk and I was hard but I didn’t want to but idk

12

Anonymous OP 1w

It's not different

32

Anonymous #1 1w

Idk how to bring it up to her bc I feel like less of a man due to letting it happen and feel like it’s stupid to care bc everyone likes sex

25

Anonymous OP 1w

Yeah you should absolutely tell her how you feel and if she doesn’t understand or care, leave her

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Anonymous #3 1w

I love her too much still, I’ve let her get away with a lot bc I love her

3

Anonymous OP 1w

If you love her, you should want a healthy relationship, which includes respect for each other's boundaries.

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Anonymous OP 1w

Doesn’t matter the specific act or if your body reacts how it might in a consensual situation. If it’s a sexual act— regardless of if there’s any penetration or not or what your gender or sexuality is— and it is not consensual, then it is assault.

17

Anonymous #6 1w

Yeah but she has been saed before she met me so I feel like she would know and since she said it wasn’t I believed her

12

Anonymous #7 1w

I still love her even tho she did this tho and I don’t know if I could ever find better bc she is my first everything

4

Anonymous OP 1w

respectfully bro do you hear yourself you’re fine with being sexually assaulted

10

Anonymous #8 1w

Idk dude it was this one bad time and a few others that I wasn’t into but gave in for her but I still have spent so long with her and have loved her for so long

3

Anonymous OP 1w

Sometimes we are abusive even if not intentional. She didn’t take your rejection and stop, though— She is not for you.

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Anonymous OP 1w

then have a serious convo about it with her. and if she continues to do it anyways then you need to leave

13

Anonymous #8 1w

Ok I’ll try but I suck at having in person conversations with her about things like this bc she just cry’s and I end up apologizing for bringing it up and comfort her

1

Anonymous OP 1w

That’s also a common manipulation tactic, especially if she never owns up to anything and persists until you assign blame on yourself. Everyone deserves a safer situation than that with genuine communication.

18

Anonymous OP 1w

how long have yall been together? it gets to a point where if you can’t have convos then you shouldn’t be together

12

Anonymous #8 1w

2 years

1

Anonymous #9 1w

Yeah but I’m a dude which is why I was asking if it actually counted or not and cause she told me I gave consent by being hard from her touching up on it

1

Anonymous OP 1w

that’s not consent

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Anonymous OP 1w

yeah if it’s been that long and yall can’t have a proper convo then sorry but it’s wraps

13

Anonymous OP 1w

I just went through a similar situation, but I’m a girl. I still loved him but I felt so uncomfortable being next to him after that and it continued to happen even after bringing it up. Just make sure you protect yourself and put yourself first otherwise you will get hurt more. There are other people out there who will love you and won’t treat you that way, and who you will be able to love and feel comfortable with too

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Anonymous #8 1w

I mean idk we are only 19 so still young but just idk, just makes me feel less of a man to even bring it up which is why I asked on an anonymous site

3

Anonymous #6 1w

Just want to say i’m someone who cries a lot during serious convos with my bf. That’s never my intent, i just genuinely get so overwhelmed sometimes especially if he tells me that i unknowingly did something that hurt him. not saying ppl don’t use it as a manipulation tactic but just wanted to provide another perspective

5

Anonymous #10 1w

Yeah I see what you are saying but we have a lot of good moments but even when we fight we kinda just have makeup sex and then not talk about anything. I will say her sex drive is higher than mine bc sometimes I just want to spend time with her but not get freaky but then I get hard and she takes it as an invitation to keep going even if I say no but whenever she has wanted to stop I say okay and then comfort her and cuddle her

1

Anonymous #8 1w

As I said earlier I trusted her saying it was consent bc she was assaulted before and I haven’t so I assumed she would know things especially how it felt to have that happen so I trusted her saying that was consent bc I also love her and trust who I love yk

3

Anonymous OP 1w

Majority of relationships have good moments, mine did too, but are the moments enough to make the trauma and hurt worth it? Don’t allow yourself to be harmed over and over again in the hopes of having another good moment. My relationship was the same his sex drive was way higher than mine and he’d do whatever he wanted, but we still had consensual sex at times.. that doesn’t make the other moments any less harmful or doesn’t categorize those moments as consented either.

12

Anonymous #10 1w

Yeah I guess so cause like I’ve still been thinking of this and a lot of other things she did but she says they are in the past so I gotta forget abt them and move on and prepare for future stuff but it’s just hard to forget when she keeps doing similar things and then I remember it or ig never completely forgot yk. And I’m sorry you had to go through and hope you are doing much better now compared to him

1

Anonymous OP 1w

If you’d like to talk further my dms are open. But you can’t just forget the past, it dictates who you are and how you react in the present and future, it’s not just something that can be brushed off. Repressed trauma will build up and be expressed in ways that aren’t healthy eventually. You shouldn’t forget what happened to you, that would only make less of and down play what actually happened, especially if she’s shown you that she’s not going to change and is continuing to act the same.

12

Anonymous OP 1w

an enthusiastic yes is consent. your body having a natural reaction to her touch does NOT mean you wanted to do anything.

6

Anonymous OP 1w

Yes you are so young so I understand why you felt unsure about what happened and probably confused, but it was assault and she manipulated you by saying “your junk is hard that means you want it” would be the same thing as a guy telling a girl “you were wearing a short skirt and had cleavage showing, so you wanted it” doesn’t take away from the fact it was wrong and I’m sorry you had to go through that. It does not sound like she respects you or values your boundaries. You need to leave.

11