Anonymous #1 2w

Not that that’s good either but I’ve seen the exact opposite of your claim

30

Anonymous #1 2w

I truly wish that was the case because it certainly hasn’t been my experience. I know Asian women are fetishized creepily, but it’s felt like Asian men are more or less an after thought.

14

Anonymous #2 2w

I love ad hominem arguments that try to say something but ultimately don’t say anything

11

Anonymous #3 2w

Like state I mean

11

Anonymous #2 2w

But yeah I could one hundred percent be seen as ugly. And my race isn’t helping

11

Anonymous #3 2w

North east

13

Anonymous OP 2w

it's not attacking you, you might be alright looking i'm just saying race isn't the right thing to be focusing on

9

Anonymous #2 2w

Well I’m like 5’8 so my height isn’t the best either but I also have shorter friends that are a lot more liked so I assume it’s less a factor than others think. Could be my voice (I don’t have an accent) or it could be that I have an endomorph body type when dadbods are the norm

15

Anonymous OP 2w

well ok so hate to break it to you but you may js not be conventionally attractive in most regards but also personally might be an issue as well, ts has almost nothing to do w race

-3

Anonymous #1 2w

For the record I know women don’t owe me anything and I’m not saying I deserve to be loved. But more and more it feels like they literally do not care to get to know me or I feel entirely invisible to them.

18

Anonymous #2 2w

I disagree. Statistically Asian men are the considered the lowest on the dating pool in America

10

Anonymous #2 2w

I had a guy come up to a girl I was with and say “hey so, whatever this Asian guy is doing for you…I promise you I can do it better”

9

Anonymous OP 2w

yes that may be true but personality and looks are a MUCH bigger factor than what race you are, so much so that idt it's the fact that you're asian

-3

Anonymous OP 2w

also blaming it all or mostly on your race removes personal responsibility from yourself to improve and become a guy girls would want to date

-3

Anonymous #2 2w

https://www.seattletimes.com/life/i-grew-up-thinking-being-asian-detracted-from-my-masculinity-heres-how-america-tells-me-and-other-asian-american-men-theyre-not-attractive/

7

Anonymous #2 2w

https://www.verywellmind.com/let-s-end-the-undesirable-asian-male-stereotype-5271703

9

Anonymous #2 2w

https://www.cnn.com/style/article/andrew-kung-asian-american-men

6

Anonymous #2 2w

https://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/when-asian-men-are-seen-as-undateable-20131209-2z107.html For the record im not blaming my race- rather I’m acknowledging how factors including my race make me feel invisible to people here

6

Anonymous OP 2w

not reading allat + big fat generalizations it seems like you may be placing yourself as a victim so that you can wallow in complacency tbh. this is coming from a woman, the way you're responding to these comments and not considering whether other factors matter lowk js shows a mid personality in general

-3

Anonymous #2 2w

The way you’re responding indignantly especially when I’ve provided articles makes me think you’d rather dismiss else’s cultural issues than expand your own. I sincerely hope you take the time to learn others perspectives in the world outside your own

16

Anonymous OP 2w

twin i'm asian 😹 my male friends haven't had all these issues it may be a you problem

-4

Anonymous #2 2w

Cool to know your experience is different but it’s not been the norm.

6

Anonymous #2 2w

hey! just popping in here, since you said “male friends” I’m gonna assume ur not a guy. Typically in america asian girls statistically have a much easier time dating than asian men do. hope this helps!

16

Anonymous OP 2w

i grant that there is racial or cultural differences but i'm pretty sure if you worked on yourself (going to gym, self confidence, grooming, charisma) you'd both feel better about yourself and pull more girls. which works for all people regardless of race or even gender

-2

Anonymous #4 2w

no yea i am an asian female which i said already?????? but my asian male friends have been doing as well as i am in the dating field

-1

Anonymous #2 2w

Girl nah. You’re ignoring like actual facts. As a girl too just coming on here and calling this guy ugly isn’t the move

-1

Anonymous #2 2w

you are being obtuse on purpose

6

Anonymous #6 2w

Absolutely. It feels suffocating since everyone props them up as the most beautiful

3

Anonymous #5 2w

Wasians are closer to European features so that would make sense

11

Anonymous #9 2w

Bro. Heaven forbid people be asked for ONE minute to reflect on our Eurocentric standards. He’s not being aggressive or impolite to us, he’s allowed to question it

17

Anonymous OP 2w

oh well tbh I don’t know what to do with that info lol. BUT I think it really just comes down to finding your people (not racially). I feel maybe you see the guys around u get more female attention and it’s hard to not compare or think ur lack of is because of ur race, since its the first thing people usually see. I had always looked way different than my friends growing up and it took a HUGE toll on me, even hating my own skin color (lol I know) but I’ve grown and realized that people

1

Anonymous #3 2w

just have different likes and maybe they like me as a person but are just simply not attracted to me in the way I want them to be. Personally, I think Asian men can be attractive but I am not attached to most of them like that. It’s just the way humans work ig

1

Anonymous #6 2w

Thank you! I’m not trying to shame anyone or cuss anyone out here- physical attraction is like your taste buds, people are allowed to like what they like. But in the same way people eventually might want to expand their cultural flavors or knowledge by traveling or talking to others, it challenges the normative perspectives. And I’m so tired of people saying “yeah I’d like you better if you weren’t Asian” or “Asians just aren’t the kind of thing I’m into” as if it’s some unstated fact in USA

-1

Anonymous OP 2w

And you know what. Imo that’s valid as fuck. People are entitled to their personal taste, but questioning our biases is always a good idea.

0

Anonymous #3 2w

For the record I used to live on the west coast before moving to north east. And while yes Asians were more abundant there than here, it wasn’t like Asians and asian men were highly praised (outside of perceived workplace efficiency), it felt more like we were the sea of backdrop characters to white American protagonists. And in the north east while it’s definitely feeling more of a minority, the lack of cultural understanding is a lot more felt.

4

Anonymous #6 2w

🫶

-1

Anonymous #6 2w

asking a negatively framed (and leading) question then rejecting every answer that isn't agreeing with the negative implication of your post is bad faith attention seeking and frankly a degree of whining that shouldn't be welcomed here nobody said he was being aggressive or impolite he can question it without leading questions, broad generalizations and self pity/loathing. but ofc he doesn't need to cuz he already gave the answer he was looking for - making the question a moot point

0

Anonymous #10 2w

Ikr like it’s literally a studied phenomenon. Also you would have to be blind to believe our beauty standards are not Eurocentric. They are changing slowly but it’s only been the past few decades that theve rly begun to be questioned. Hell mixed race relationships being a normal thing is still a fairly new phenomenon. It was barely just legalized back when my grandparents did it

8

Anonymous #6 2w

like there's literally no point to the question. he already had the answers he wanted and rejected others. this post is not seeking an answer, it's imposing a belief, and therefore off-topic

1

Anonymous #9 2w

Ok feel free to ignore the post then?

10

Anonymous #9 2w

Just because what my lived experience isn’t the same as what your lived experience is doesn’t mean mine isn’t any more real. I implore you to do some research and read some of the articles before you continue invalidating others perspectives

1

Anonymous #9 2w

"Ask Women" not "Bait Women With A Question Then Tell Women What The Answer Actually Is"

-1

Anonymous #6 2w

feel free to make posts in the appropriate communities then?

-2

Anonymous #9 2w

Girl, why are you womansplaining here?

1

Anonymous #9 2w

This is the appropriate community. As a mixed race woman this was a subject I was happy to engage in conversation about.

4

Anonymous OP 2w

this community is for asking women questions to get answers and advice related to women from women. it is literally antithetical to post a question for which you don't want answers, when you clearly just want to info dump and tell women that asian men experience romantic discrimination, and reject everything that suggests it could be resolved through personal effort

-2

Anonymous #6 2w

even the question itself wasn't directed at women. it was about "americans". this is clearly off-topic

-2

Anonymous #9 2w

Racial prejudices can’t be solved through the person of colors personal effort bestie.

9

Anonymous #9 2w

That is not at all what I am doing or what I’m asking about and I’m sorry if my question got misinterpreted like that for you. At the heart of my question I’m trying to ask “why is it that something like race for a lot of people seems to be a make or break deal setter for whether or not they are dateable” even if the person themself isn’t racist or intentionally segregationist. The way you say “just work on yourself bro” dismisses the way a lot of non-white men like myself feel invisible

1

Anonymous #9 2w

I'm so sick of men using this community as their little soapbox

0

Anonymous #11 2w

"why is it that something like race for a lot of people seems to be a make or break deal setter for whether or not they are dateable" notice how this isn't a question for or about women? soapbox indeed

2

Anonymous #9 2w

Im confused on what you want here. He clearly wasn’t calling out women and he isn’t singling them out, rather hes pointing to a specific set of cultural perspectives and asking women to comment on them. would you PREFER if he asked “why don’t more straight women date more asian men?”

4

Anonymous OP 2w

hey op, who are you talking about when you say "americans find asians unsexy"? which americans? does that include asian americans or are you just talking about white people?

-1

Anonymous #9 2w

I’m talking about it in general

4

Anonymous #9 2w

If you would like I’ve included several articles below that explain the topic better

6

Anonymous OP 2w

but you admit yourself that that's not true. you said asian women are sought after. so who are you talking about when you say "americans find asians unsexy"? which americans? which asians? be very specific, because it would be nonsense to say all americans find all asians unattractive

-2

Anonymous #9 2w

she asks as if she’s never heard the term “double standard” before 😒

8

Anonymous OP 2w

also i read the articles and looked it up myself. what you're claiming seems to be heavy exaggeration even based on what you sent one example said 65% of asian men are in relationships compared to 75% in other races. not only is this not a major gap, but it was never explained as to *why*. one article i'm reading suggests asians prioritize romance less, and another pointed out family approval as a bigger barrier for asians. so many explanations besides "too ugly"

-2

Anonymous #9 2w

Right but my real lived experience has been many people see Asians as the “invisible class” and dating is a huge factor. Like #4 said, I wrote earlier about the double standard between Asian men and women (for the record I DO NOT think objectifying Asian women is ever appropriate) and that Asian and Asian men tend to be easily dismissed or glossed over. we’re still blamed for the effects of COVID and I have countless friends who can tell you the racism they felt afterwards

8

Anonymous #4 2w

shut up you dodo bird. this is a contradiction to the assertion that "americans find asians unsexy". if half of that group are *by his own admission* sought after then this is just nonsense

-1

Anonymous #9 2w

Hey 9 if you’re so annoyed by people not using this community for its intended purpose why don’t you go yell at the two people who just made racist posts reposting this that don’t even ask any question at all

4

Anonymous #6 2w

because they're engagement baiting. if you're commenting on racist posts and not simply clicking every relevant report option you're giving them what they want and boosting the post (comments count towards placement in the popular feed) i'm engaging with this post because i don't think he's a racist troll trying to bait people. it's actually my genuine attempt at trying to challenge the men members of this community to not be self absorbed and whiny

5

Anonymous OP 2w

covid racism isn't a topic for "Ask Women"...

2

Anonymous OP 2w

again you already gave the answer you wanted: racism so now what? what is the point of asking women a question you already have the answer to when you have no intention of listening to anything else? how is this relevant to "Ask Women"? especially when you keep saying it's "general" and ask broad questions about racism totally separate from gender and romance?

3

Anonymous #9 2w

And as a woman I’m saying it is a topic I welcome. If you don’t want to discuss it you don’t have too

7

Anonymous #6 2w

To

6

Anonymous #6 2w

you're not the Chairwoman of Women sweetheart. nobody gaf if you personally welcome it. it's off-topic

-1

Anonymous #2 2w

And Asian females are the most desired in the dating space right now do you not see it?

13

Anonymous #13 2w

Exactly, thank you

1

Anonymous #9 2w

Why are you arguing semantics when you know it’s the double standard hes exactly pointing to? Also you jumping to insulting me only reinforces how this topic being triggering to you says more about your cultural blindness than anything else.

1

Anonymous #9 2w

“covid racism isn’t a topic for ask women” - can you please explain why you think that?

1

Anonymous #4 2w

Facts just look at Alysa Liu and Ellen gu from the Olympics some of these Asian girls just deny the facts lol

1

Anonymous #4 2w

i jumped to insult you because you've contributed nothing but low intelligence drivel, put your own lack of comprehension skills on display, and i don't respect your input. one need not be upset to insult another

0

Anonymous #4 2w

the double standard is what IM pointing to, dodo. the double standard makes the *entire* premise of the post one big contradiction. you cannot have roughly half of a group be highly sought after and then say people don't find that group attractive. and that's roughly half while assuming that people find all asian men unattractive, which is false

0

Anonymous #9 2w

I’m not the chairwoman of women but I am a woman on here he asked. If some women are willing to answer him why do you get to decide it’s off topic you’re not “the chairwoman of women” either .

-3

Anonymous #6 2w

girl he didn't even ask women. "why do americans tend to find asians unsexy" is a *general* question for *all* genders. omfg we should just change the name to "Ask Whoever Whatever"

2

Anonymous #13 2w

i was talking about asian men not women tf can we work on our literacy

1

Anonymous #9 2w

this is exactly what i'm saying bruh his question was loaded as hell and insanely general

5

Anonymous OP 2w

Well that first seattle times article you linked was written by a wasian guy

6

Anonymous OP 2w

well, you are a minority lol. Although the US is maybe the most diverse country in the world, yall are also the most divided by race in many aspects. It doesn’t feel nice but sadly that is just the world we live in and no matter how much u try to “not see color” that’s just what happens. I hope u know I am in no way coming for u or your feelings, it seems like that has happened enough in this discussion lmao

2

Anonymous #3 2w

american women are also thought of as less attractive in plenty of other countries, that’s just how it is when ur in a country that isn’t mostly made up of your specific demographic.

0

Anonymous #5 2w

American and Oman iwnsyt a race

4

Anonymous #6 2w

where did i say race in my comment?

1