Anonymous #1 4w

i kinda did. he said he has mixed feelings. he wants something long term, but the age gap worries him. i don’t want him to just say whatever to get me to go out with him yk? also he said he’s talking to one other girl atm

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Anonymous #2 4w

i don’t want to!! but like what if it works out? there’s a big age & wealth gap so i’m sure he’s worried as well. he’s super needy so idk

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Anonymous OP 4w

Wdym there’s a big age gap?

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Anonymous #2 4w

34 years apart

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Anonymous OP 4w

what the fuck

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this has to be bait

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Anonymous #4 4w

it’s not! he is 54 and i’m 20

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Anonymous strawberry_hair 4w

its the only thing i know :( i dont think guys my age like me

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Anonymous OP 4w

I mean this extremely respectfully and genuinely. Anyone who is that much older than you who “likes you” is absolutely taking advantage of you. You said yourself you have trouble maintaining boundaries. You need to stop seeing these people and stop dating and go to therapy. These men are absolutely using you.

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Anonymous OP 4w

Also I’m sure there are guys your age who like you. But you shouldn’t be with someone just because they like you. I’m with my boyfriend not just because he likes me and I like him, but we have things in common. Goals, hopes, expectations in relationships.

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Anonymous strawberry_hair 4w

this all feels like a humiliation ritual - not you, but trying to navigate dating someone. i was SAed for a few years and now i’m afraid of guys my age and they took the hint and left me alone lol. i really want security again, and the older guys do that for a period of time. i just kind of accepted that id be used but im really tired of it

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Anonymous strawberry_hair 4w

i am in therapy also! but sometimes i feel too embarrassed to bring stuff up. i’m happy you and your bf a good match!!!

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Anonymous OP 4w

I get how dating feels humiliating, trust me I do. But you shouldn’t accept that you’ll be used. Because in a proper relationship you won’t. Theres respect. And the older guys you are dating definitely wouldn’t respect you. The best advice I can offer you is stay away from men right now and go to therapy. Because this is toxic and going to cause more hurt and more trauma.

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Anonymous OP 4w

Oh trust me I haven’t dated since I was 17 and I just turned 21. I haven’t even been dating for a month yet. But I knew him before hand and I communicated my expectations in a relationship beforehand as well. I get that therapy can be hard, I’m in therapy and also working to become a therapist lol. But the role is not to impose any judgement. It’s to talk through the situation. Also my father is around this man’s age (he’s 57). My dad has said multiple times that he thinks anyone under 35

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Anonymous strawberry_hair 4w

is a child. He said that “you aren’t really an adult no matter what you say. You don’t have experience in life, haven’t been on your own.” Hell your brain isn’t even properly developed! And that’s just what he says about me when I proclaim I’m an adult. He sees people our age as children. And why would a man who’s 54 want to be with a 20 year old besides creepy reasons.

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Anonymous strawberry_hair 4w

So please genuinely, stop talking to this man- hell block him. Talk to your therapist and don’t be around men you are attracted to. Right now you are causing yourself way more hurt than you realize. Find good relationships, with friends and work on this. Because you are causing so much harm.

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Anonymous strawberry_hair 4w

he started with saying he’d want to have kids eventually and he only wanted long term. now he’s telling me he doesn’t know and doesn’t want to hurt me. i’m scared to reject him because like what if no one else comes along?! i feel like the only thing im good at is (lack of better words) submitting or being a borderline housewife

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Anonymous strawberry_hair 4w

i just cut off my dad from physically abusing me like 3 months ago. it just feels wrong now? like i can tell im looking for another person to control me. i dont like it but i dont know an alternative lol i have a few friends (my dad didnt let me have many irl) and they’d all agree with what you’re telling me :/

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Anonymous OP 4w

“Wants kids eventually” people tend to decide to have kids much earlier on. I already know I want them, and my older brother already knows he doesn’t despite only being 23. I can promise you without a shadow of a doubt someone better will come along. Right now you are so scared to be alone that you are willing to accept it when people treat you like shit. You, just as being a person, have inherent worth. And you need to treat yourself like you do.

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Anonymous OP 4w

That definitely would play apart. I’m glad you managed to cut off your dad because you don’t deserve that. Sometimes we seek what is most familiar to ourselves. And often in abuse victims that’s abuse. The alternative is not dating right now. You are young, take two or three years off dating. Delete dating apps whatever it is. Talk to your therapist about this. And work on building your self esteem.

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Anonymous #6 4w

I wish you the best and hope you find your voice

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Anonymous OP 4w

If he’s old enough to be your parent you probably shouldn’t be dating him. That’s just weird no offense

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Anonymous #6 3w

yes, i am a girl. i didn’t know not wanting to do something and just saying yes was sa :/ he told me he deleted the dating apps and unfriended his exes. he also said he’s been telling his friends about me so that’s kind of uncomfortable. they said people will think he’s weird and think i’m a baby

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Anonymous #6 3w

thank you for all the kind words also :)

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Anonymous OP 3w

Yea it's evident that he's trying to manipulate you into being with you. When it comes to age gaps like that, always question what he might see in you that he can't find in people closer to his age. There is always a reason someone would go so young (easily impressionable/more gullible).

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