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Is this not a dangerous way for women to even try to think? What is wrong with people? TF do they mean they hate it? Why tf do you think it’s cute??😭😭 These people have completely undeveloped sexualities no? They do not understand themselves. Am I crazy?
7 upvotes, 18 comments. Sidechat image post by Anonymous in Ask Women. "Is this not a dangerous way for women to even try to think? What is wrong with people? TF do they mean they hate it? Why tf do you think it’s cute??😭😭 These people have completely undeveloped sexualities no? They do not understand themselves. Am I crazy?"
upvote 7 downvote

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Anonymous 12h

As an asexual person I agree that I hate that lingerie and anything with lace or frills is so sexualized. Truly I hate that a lot of things that involve women are sexualized simply because they’re about women. Lingerie is cute sometimes. I don’t wear it for other people because I don’t even like people like that. I just like it for me

upvote 12 downvote
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Anonymous 14h

How is it a dangerous way to think

upvote 11 downvote
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Anonymous 13h

I like how you’re talking about lingerie as though liking it is a natural instinct and not something you learn Caveman grug don’t give a shit bro. It’s not that deep, stop freaking out over it. She wants cute things without people assuming things, it’s not rocket science

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Anonymous 7h

This is not dangerous at all. I think OOP has a point. Underwear CAN be cute and underwear is sexualized. Most things are for women. That doesn’t mean it’s a good thing.

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Anonymous 14h

The sexualization of the underwear to women is fundamentally why lingerie even exists

upvote -4 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #1 14h

This kind of traction to something like this tells me that some fraction of them genuinely don’t understand how and what a man would be attracted to. That they would put something on and not at all understand the level of implication that clothing has. And again, let alone if it’s dangerous, do you think this is a normal take? Can you begin to explain that?

upvote -5 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #1 14h

Just not understanding sex fundamentally, and what drives it is not good no? No matter who you are. It is a dangerous ignorance to have if you plan on becoming an adult

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 14h

This is fair but the way i interpreted the post (with no context) is moreso wishing it could have implications beyond sex, subverting the commonly held perception of lingerie, i was thinking kinda like lolita fashion

upvote 10 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #1 14h

Fair enough ig. Thats probably where most of the disconnect is tbh

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Anonymous replying to -> #1 14h

It’s still just has me questioning who you want to be cute for. And does the person even understand their own reasoning for wanting to appear that way. I people will sometimes lie to themselves internally about exactly why they perform the way that they do to protect some inner moral code and in doing so, block out an entire aspect of reality. Why did you want to appear cute in this dramatic niche fashion? What do you get out of it? And do you understand why you get those things out of it?

upvote -3 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> OP 14h

this is exactly her point though. your response is "why aren't they thinking about what makes men horny" when she's probably just thinking about what looks cute on her and trying to be fashionable

upvote 14 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #2 13h

Never specified men but go ahead and project and be bad faith an unrealistic about the world, that’ll sure go well for you. And why is she thinking about what looks cute on her? Why is that important to her? My point is that they want to be fashionable without understanding why. Like the fact that there seems to be a complete disconnect between fashion and appearance, sex is so wild to me. You being taboo about sex doesn’t give you any magical moral high ground. Sorry

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 13h

And appearance, to sex…*

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Anonymous replying to -> OP 13h

With lolita at least its a very well considered question that has been answered ad nauseam. Its fun and empowering to subvert patriarchal impositions on clothing and to share that with other women. Lolitas wear frills for the same reasons punks wear studs. Cuz it looks cool and feels powerful to defy expectations

upvote 9 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> OP 13h

"some fraction of them don't understand what a man would be attracted to" you absolutely did specify men in the message I replied to. what is weird or unusual about trying to look good in clothing or wanting to wear different outfits? aesthetics can be and are a goal unto themselves. you have a weird patronizing tone here, trying to call random women stupid or naive for not agreeing with you.

upvote 13 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> OP 13h

How is it taboo about sex to want to resist objectification in fashion? How do you know ppl arent thinking about their fashion desires at an introspective level?

upvote 12 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #3 13h

Idk i do think it can be that deep, i think OPs questioning of intentions and deep-seated bias impacting ones perception of fashion is important to consider they just went about it like a jerk

upvote 1 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> OP 12h

Hard agree

upvote -1 downvote