Ask Women on Sidechat | When a man says he’s scared of being falsely accused I automatically assume he’s done some shit that can be considered assault and is scared of being called out. You are SIGNIFICANTLY more likely to be raped than you are to be falsely accused.

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Ask Women 5w

When a man says he’s scared of being falsely accused I automatically assume he’s done some shit that can be considered assault and is scared of being called out. You are SIGNIFICANTLY more likely to be raped than you are to be falsely accused.

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558

Anonymous 5w

This is also just not a fair comparison 😭 like you are wayyy more likely to ACTUALLY be SAed than to be falsely accused of SAing someone

121

Anonymous 5w

This is a horrible thing to say. I’ve been both raped and falsely accused of it, and automatically blindly believing one side or the other is not okay 👎🏻

Anonymous 5w

I was going to give my to 2 cents but uhmmm.. this is already a shit show

Anonymous 5w

You’re more likely have a normal day than to get in a car crash. Are you afraid of getting in a car crash? Like people are very often afraid of things that probably won’t happen.

Anonymous 5w

I get what u mean but I have been accused by a girl I dated for a month and only kissed once, like a peck. So I understand it’s not as bad as sa but it does happen

Anonymous 5w

& more likely to be falsely accused than eaten by an alligator. Whats your point? If people can only worry about one problem or risk, ever, is it wrong to pick one thats more likely to affect you personally? Isnt that why you choose to care more about SA? Nothing erodes the credibility of accusers or causes miscarriages of justice more than an attitude that assumes guilt-by-association to anyone who criticizes your assumptions or urges restraint. And who does that help?

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Anonymous 5w

The paranoia around being falsely accused is largely rooted in anxiety and low self-esteem. Often the guys that are most worried don’t really interact with women much beyond what is necessary in daily life. In many cases, these are guys that are already shy or neurodivergent and have experienced being judged or maligned in the past for reasons they didn’t quite understand (e.g., missed social cues, RBF, etc.) Just trying to shed some light on the “other side” of this.

Anonymous 5w

why are ppl acting like getting assaulted and someone lying about you are in any way comparable? i’d rather get falsely accused than assaulted

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Anonymous 5w

EXACTLY like what are u scared of dude😭

Anonymous 5w

As a guy the odds are seemingly flipped tho so it’s a valid concern, especially when people are out here claiming SA on consensual activities that they maybe didn’t wanna do halfway through but didn’t say anything

Anonymous 5w

Both of you sound guilty and invalidate both sides. It doesn’t fix the problem. If you were falsely accused and could risk a prison sentence for something you didn’t do you’d be upset too right? Just bc it’s less common doesn’t mean both happen and are harmful to ppl. That’s exactly why ppl hated certain races and back then they were put in prison for false accusations when they didn’t do anything. It’s best to have the court involved

Anonymous 5w

Well that’s batshit and halfway wrong

Anonymous 5w

Or maybe someone just doesn’t want their life potentially ruined cause someone’s a vengeful or evil person. Do you assume someone who’s scared of dogs has done something to make a dog angry in the past?

Anonymous 5w

to be honest, this is short-sighted and poorly communicated, all you had to say was men who are unnecessarily paranoid of false accusations are suspicious. However for some reason you want to die on the hill is worse than false accusations? Where is the evidence for that that’s not anecdotal? On either side? Both are terrible and a product of a poorly educated and purposely confused society. Trying to identify the characteristics of a sexual assaulter based off this metric is ludacris

Anonymous 5w

Tell that to countless black men that were legally killed thru out America’s not too distant past I understand what you’re trying to say but this nation is not known for being just to EVERYONE

Anonymous 5w

I got false accused and I’ve never had sex

Anonymous

#2 5w

Don’t need to have sex to sexually assault someone or even rape them. Any forced penetration like fingers, objects, ect, counts as rape

Anonymous

#3 5w

What do you mean the odds are flipped?? They are not

Anonymous

#3 5w

And btw if she revokes consent halfway through and you continue regardless it’s rape

Anonymous

OP 5w

“Didn’t say anything” you can’t expect people to read your mind they don’t always vocalize their revoke of consent btw

Anonymous

#3 5w

You can’t feel when your sexual partner isn’t into it?

Anonymous

OP 5w

Seemingly, just saying the odds of being SA’d are considerably lower than women and people are uninformed on it all so it’s easy with all the stories and such to think it may be opposite for men

Anonymous

OP 5w

You don’t get to determine as someone uninvolved who can feel what, that’s biased. At the end of the day if they don’t make their discomfort or undesire to continue vocal, it cannot be considered the fault of the other person. Speak up🤷

Anonymous

#3 5w

Well the odds are not flipped and if you would take a minute to do some research you would know that Statistically, men are 230 times more likely to be raped than be falsely accused.

Anonymous

#3 5w

I’m not saying it’s your fault but it’s weird asf that you can’t tell when your partner isn’t into it

Anonymous

OP 5w

That’s why I said seemingly sweetheart❤️

-1

Anonymous

OP 5w

Well that’s subjective to your opinion so. Some people just can’t not that they don’t want to or don’t feel like it

-1

Anonymous

OP 5w

And they aren’t always partners, I’m sure a good percentage of SA involves people who aren’t very familiar or even strangers.

Anonymous

#3 5w

So you were seemingly wrong sweetheart by like a LOT

Anonymous

#3 5w

If you don’t know if they want it or not, you shouldn’t have sex with them

Anonymous

OP 5w

so because you dont have to have sex doesnt mean he is lying. why yall treat folks like they already guilty before they get in front of a judge or jury. Dis is just like the doordash incident. the girl UNINVITINGLY invites herself into his home while he was sleeping (he was indeed naked) but again she had no reason to walk in. She records and yells SA and all the women were on her side and its confirmed she just felt like LYING

Anonymous

OP 5w

I was saying it’s easy for him to think that🤦 I already searched it up, never said the odds were actually flipped so idk what your trying to disprove

Anonymous

#4 5w

meant uninvitingly walks in*

Anonymous

#3 5w

Brother

Anonymous

#4 5w

I never said he was lying I said you don’t have to have sex to commit rape. And let’s not bring in other situations that have yet to be discussed in a court of law

-4

Anonymous

OP 5w

Again that’s your opinion and subjective so what’s your point?

Anonymous

#3 5w

Yeah no there’s nothing subjective about saying you shouldn’t have sex if you can’t tell if she wants it or not

Anonymous

#3 5w

Consent is supposed to be enthusiastic, just bc she begrudgingly said yes doesn’t mean it’s ok

Anonymous

OP 5w

It’s completely subjective because you don’t know the person, they may just be inherently shy and behave timidly even if they want to do it. Or the opposite, you can’t act like everybody is the same and everybody is supposed to be masters of body language

Anonymous

OP 5w

And it’s supposed to be enthusiastic because you said so??? And a hesitant yes now means no because you said so?

Anonymous

OP 5w

It’s okay to be unsure abt having intercourse and still want it to happen, so you needa think about that again

Anonymous

#3 5w

If you are so scared of being falsely accused why would you risk it by having sex with someone who you can’t tell really wants it or not

Anonymous

OP 5w

Well someone who is scared wouldn’t do that but not every man is worried abt that so I’m not sure what this is supposed to connote

Anonymous

#3 5w

And yes legally speaking just bc she said yes doesn’t mean you have consent. Coercive sex is legally rape

Anonymous

OP 5w

Still stands that you can’t think abt it so black and white there’s so many different factors and variables involved in these kinds of cases

Anonymous

#3 5w

Brother you are the one thinking about it black and white

Anonymous

#3 5w

You are not worth my time tbh have the day you deserve wannabe rapist

Anonymous

OP 5w

That’s true but there’s cases where this is no coercive action yet the claims are made nonetheless

Anonymous

OP 5w

How and your sitting here basically saying “Yes means ‘no’ and you can’t have sex unless your able to read your partners mind and blatantly ignore what they say because body language is more important”🤔

Anonymous

#3 5w

And that’s their freedom of speech to speak out about a man who made them uncomfortable

Anonymous

OP 5w

Right, nothing I’m saying could possibly lead you to that assumption besides the fact that I’m debating with logic and not bias but okay

Anonymous

OP 5w

Absolutely is, but you see how you’re no longer addressing my refute but instead jumping to defend the hypothetical “victim”? I’m not claiming anybody’s innocent but it simply isn’t so easy nowadays when it comes to these situations and I think you outta know that

Anonymous

#1 5w

This isn’t relevant. You shouldn’t be blindly believing either side. Sure, you can support them, but blindly believing them is not okay

Anonymous

#5 5w

No one said anything about blindly believing one side or another. In fact you are blindly believing one side if someone tells you they were falsely accused and you completely believe them without a doubt

Anonymous

OP 5w

You made that reply as if it negates the fact I’ve never even been around women in a situation where such a thing would occur. You basically did the reverse of what you claim is happening to rape victims lol

Anonymous

OP 5w

Nope, supporting someone but not believing in them means you aren’t siding with anyone. That’s how it should be until there is evidence of either side. Having an automatic opinion makes you biased and one sided.

-12

Anonymous

#5 5w

I have an automatic opinion about men who are paranoid that they will be falsely accused. That’s what the post is about

Anonymous 5w

Yes you did say that. “I automatically assume he’s done some shit” indicates that you automatically believe the man did something.

Anonymous

OP 5w

This is an automatic, biased opinion.

Anonymous

#5 5w

She ironically does the same thing the non believers are doing but in reverse 💀

Anonymous

#5 5w

Yes but let’s not conflate what my point is. If someone approaches me and tells me that they were raped or they were falsely accused I do not have an automatic opinion bc that’s a sensitive topic. This is completely different, like when known cheaters are constantly paranoid about their partner cheating. If you are constantly paranoid about getting falsely accused im gonna assume you do some questionable shit

Anonymous

OP 5w

That’s not what you said though…

Anonymous

OP 5w

Thanks for that screenshot cause I was about to ask how you knew (the odds). Im not really surprised to read that we have literally no idea. If “the best data we have” is “the number of people prosecuted for making false accusations” then really we just dont have data on this. Anecdotally it seems that most frivolous accusations (like famously most real offenses) are never reported atall. So if your assumptions about someone are based on what you assume is more likely… they probably shouldnt be.

Anonymous

#9 5w

That exactly what I said from the start

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Anonymous

sea_taco 5w

If it seems irrational, that’s because it is.

Anonymous

OP 5w

In 9’s defense in the post you say “if someone’s scared,” not “if they’re constantly paranoid” so I can definitely get why someone would read the post as “if someone’s scared AT ALL.” But I agree there’s a big difference between someone wondering if something like that COULD ever possibly happen to them in the same passing way I wonder about if I could choke on my food vs constantly worrying that it WILL happen unprompted. (Prompt would be an abusive ex or something.)

Anonymous

#5 5w

I’m talking about the fact that the dude was very clearly trying to draw a parallel to women making this statement about being SAed though. Yes, I think there should be caution exercised in believing things from the get-go but it still ignores the fact that one is way less likely to happen than the other

Anonymous

#5 5w

can you tell me why you think this is a good take if SA is so pervasive throughout society and there tends to be so much backlash for women who claim to have experienced it? our fucking president is a pedophile and creep. there are so many examples of inconsistent standards of treatment for victims of SA compared to perpetrators. it’s not an equal playing field for people to accuse someone, so why would people equally perceive both in ur perfect little world?

Anonymous

#5 5w

no one said anything about blind belief. it’s still fact you are more likely to be SA’d than falsely accused

Anonymous

#8 5w

just say you’ve done something. you understand exactly what they meant and u needed to argue it because??

-2

Anonymous

#17 5w

Not relevant whatsoever.

-1

Anonymous

#17 5w

Because I haven’t done something. Hence why your comment demonstrates exactly the problem I was just highlighting. If you impute guilt to anyone who questions your assumptions or mob mentality, you get McCarthyism (to use the gentlest possible analogue). You become impossible to reason with if you attack anyone who tries. Wdym why did I argue? I told you in my first comment what I thought the societal consequences of that were. Idk how to explain to you that you should care about other people

Anonymous

#13 5w

Yes this here is how I interpreted it. As the one Penn and teller bit went, “the manner in which words are spoken, give them their meaning”. What OP said, while not what was intended, gave a meaning that could have been two different things depending on how viewed. (Thanks #13 for understanding what I meant 😀)

Anonymous

#19 5w

Have you seen the statistics of getting SAd or raped? For women it’s very high, especially below the age of 21, and the statistics for men I think are skewed because it’s not reported as often.

Anonymous

#3 5w

Do check in’s? Like literally ask your partner if they’re still doing okay

Anonymous

#16 5w

You have to give reasonings to your claim, to have a productive conversation you have to do more than state your opinion

Anonymous

#15 5w

As someone who was assaulted and have been accused, I agree

Anonymous

#22 5w

I don’t have to do anything

Anonymous

#22 5w

Tf you sound just as crazy

Anonymous

#16 5w

Wild thing is this person thinks they’re having a mic drop moment here I’m sure as usual