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Ask Women 18h
How do I express to my bf that I am not in the mood for sex if there has been little to no brain connection beforehand. Like he’s mostly been smoking & playing games, and attempts I made earlier to express love were cut short. I’m not very good w/ words
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23
upvote 11 downvote
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Anonymous 18h

You could say almost exactly what you wrote here

upvote 10 downvote
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Anonymous 18h

genuine q, why are you dating this guy

upvote 10 downvote
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Anonymous 18h

I tried saying brain connection but he said “I could get you in the mood” meaning that he could get me wet (by the physical way, like kissing and touching in sensitive areas) but I told him that he could do that but my brain isn’t in the mood. After I said that, he just went back to playing games. I am assuming the way I’m wording it isn’t the way that is most understandable

upvote 7 downvote
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Anonymous 17h

It seems like he’s putting you off until he wants sex which is weird af

upvote 7 downvote
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Anonymous 18h

Been in a relationship is okay to said no

upvote 6 downvote
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Anonymous 16h

Honestly? Tell him you feel like he isn’t giving you what you need and that you are frustrated but want to work it out TOGETHER. Explain that you want romance and not just sexual gratification. Honestly tho if this guy sounds like a bum, he may be sweet but sweets cause toothaches if they aren’t good for you.

upvote 6 downvote
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Anonymous 17h

From what you’re saying about previous attempts for this conversation, I don’t like how he just goes back to playing video games. I think you already know how to have this conversation and the main problem is getting him to have it with you.

upvote 1 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #1 18h

I meant to reply to you, but it didn’t go underneath, so check the large paragraph

upvote 6 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> OP 18h

That a big red flag he doesn’t respect a no

upvote 7 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #2 17h

Here’s the thing is that I love to have sex, and I would like to, but my brain is not prepared at the moment for it. It could be prepared if we actually connected beyond sex beforehand, but the transition from gaming to wanting sex is not accommodating to my brain

upvote 9 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> OP 17h

We all love sex but we should be force to have it

upvote 1 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> OP 17h

Been in a relationship doesn’t mean you can have sex every time you want to

upvote 1 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #3 17h

He is a very sweet guy. Ever since he moved in though, I kinda have felt more and more ignored. I think it’s because we see eachother more often now basically so it’s just another Tuesday for him. There are some circumstances where that’s not the case, but lately it’s been feeling more and more like that

upvote 4 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #2 17h

What I’m saying is that I would still love to have sex, but my brain isn’t ready yet, and I want to find the words to tell him that if we just had a brain connection beforehand that I would gladly have sex

upvote 5 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> OP 17h

even if you guys live together, he shouldn't be blowing off your affection and only paying attention to you when he wants sex. that's depressing af girl

upvote 19 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> OP 17h

Well mention it… tell him you are not sex doll he next a connection and communication

upvote 6 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> OP 17h

I’m a guy… I have to have connections with my girl .. talk have glass of wine and enjoy … I love sex but if I do it with someone I know and knows me well

upvote 6 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #3 17h

Yeah :( it’s not a good feeling

upvote 6 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #4 17h

We do have things that we planned to do together later in the day, but I do agree that it is weird, especially with 0 transition in between

upvote 5 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #2 17h

He didn’t push anything on me, he went to play more games, although I do think it was not very respectful to ask without at least giving some time with affection first

upvote -4 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #5 17h

That’s possible. I never considered that, I figured it was just how I was wording everything. Growing up, I would often be told that I would word things in the way least understandable to others

upvote 8 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> #2 17h

Connection and communication are good words to use, thank you. I was struggling to find a way how to translate what I was tryna say 🥲

upvote 6 downvote
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Anonymous replying to -> OP 10h

I’m the same way, my partner asks for clarification if we’re discussing something important and I’m phrasing things oddly

upvote 4 downvote