Ask Women on Sidechat | How do I handle anxious avoidant men? Me and my bf have been dating almost three months and it’s being going well but recently he’s been avoidant when I try to talk about meaningful/deep conversations and goes to sending reels whenever I try to.

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Ask Women 10w

How do I handle anxious avoidant men? Me and my bf have been dating almost three months and it’s being going well but recently he’s been avoidant when I try to talk about meaningful/deep conversations and goes to sending reels whenever I try to.

Anonymous 10w

I voiced my concern about it to him and asked him to stop but he did it again just recently when I asked him something

Anonymous 10w

A little update on our situation. We decided to take a break for a few months and work on a lot of things we need to work on and then try again in the future if the feelings are still there and if it feels right

Anonymous

OP 10w

He hid him being in the military and now whenever I ask him about it he gives me dry responses and avoids the topic. I don’t know how I can get him to open up

Anonymous

OP 10w

The way you get avoidant men to open up is to let them be. Quite literally open conversation, confrontational or not scares them away and makes them want to run. You gotta tell them you want to talk about it but you’ll wait til they’re ready. And in the meantime step away, and I mean HARD step away. No reels, no texts, no calls, etc. let him know you’re open to talking, that you love him and that’s why you want to have these conversations,

Anonymous

#2 10w

We use to text heavily before we dated. I feel like he didn’t really want to be with me in the first place he just went along with it because he wanted a gf and the girls he was trying to get with didn’t feel the same way or it didn’t work out and when I told him I like him he just went with whatever option was open

Anonymous

OP 10w

I mean yea that’s one way of looking at it sure. A lot of avoidant people will go with “what’s available” bc they *AVOID ALL DIRECT COMMUNICATION (until they feel safe/feel like the stakes are low enough that it won’t hurt to be honest)

Anonymous

#2 10w

So is that a possibility?

Anonymous

OP 10w

Yes. It’s quite possible he never wanted to be in a relationship at all then you came along and the attention was nice and he decided he’d go with the flow and just see what would happen next and now he’s over his head.

Anonymous

#2 10w

Well I sent him a voice message expressing everything I felt. And I told him I want honesty.

Anonymous

#2 10w

He did keep mentioning how him not getting into one three years after his last relationship ended was because he didn’t put any effort to be in one and honestly that should’ve been my answer