Ask Women on Sidechat | Ladies, my wife just had our second child and she isn’t feeling like beautiful or anything and thinks she looks fat and gross. I think she looks fine. How do I help her with feeling better about herself?

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Ask Women 1w

Ladies, my wife just had our second child and she isn’t feeling like beautiful or anything and thinks she looks fat and gross. I think she looks fine. How do I help her with feeling better about herself?

Anonymous 1w

Just be there and talk to her. A lot of it is mental and unfortunately there’s not a whole lot you can do about that. Sometimes it’s hard to believe you look good if you don’t think you do even if others are saying it. I personally have never been through a pregnancy but it’s a rough time and having someone be there is really nice

Anonymous 5d

Listen to what she needs, and be supportive. Don’t try to “solve” the problem by, for example, suggesting ways to lose weight or that she buy new clothes. Make sure she knows you think she’s beautiful but also understand that that’s not enough on its own, she’s still going to feel her own feelings/insecurities. Don’t praise other, smaller, women’s appearances in front of her or praise how she looked before the birth. Focus on praising her as a person also, not just on how she looks

Anonymous

#1 1w

I think the fact that shit didn’t bounce back like she did with our first son is messing her up.

Anonymous

OP 1w

That would make sense. The same thing happened to my mom after she had my brother. She still calls herself “fat” despite being incredibly healthy. Unfortunately bodies act differently with every pregnancy. I think it’s great that you’re trying to be there for her though

Anonymous

#1 1w

I tell her she’s beautiful every day and she is. Would it be rude if I signed us up for the gym? Lol I don’t want her to think I’m agreeing with her. I’m not exactly in the best shape of my life either so I want to go to the gym lol

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Anonymous

OP 6d

As a woman (who has not been blessed by childbirth yet) Do not sign her up for the gym unless she specifically asks and is the one to bring it up first. She will also need plenty of time to recover before even thinking of working out. Seeing you go may either be motivation for her to go or fuel her insecurities as guys typically loose weight faster than women (it’s an unfair reality)

Anonymous

#2 6d

Our son is 3 months old now. I wasn’t gonna sign her up for the gym. I’m signing up for the gym and they usually let you bring someone with you. I was going to offer her to come. Nicely obviously