Ask Women on Sidechat | Okay I’m so fucking freaky by myself but I haven’t actually physically been with someone before, ik like virginity is a construct and you always make the first time more than it really ends up being but like… any tips on how to not get like traumatized?

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Okay I’m so fucking freaky by myself but I haven’t actually physically been with someone before, ik like virginity is a construct and you always make the first time more than it really ends up being but like… any tips on how to not get like traumatized?

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Anonymous 4d

do it with someone kind, aware, and thoughtful. make sure you actually do know what you want or know how to say when you don’t like something. go slow and be careful and aware of how you’re feeling and it’ll go well. def be careful about who you do it with tho

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Anonymous 4d

Do it with someone who you know respects you as a person. You don’t have to love them, & they don’t have to love you, but if they view sex as conquest or you as an object, it’ll suck. The sex itself will be mediocre at best, and the aftermath will just leave you feeling hollow.

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🍓

Anonymous 5d

Wdym not traumatized?

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Anonymous 4d

“Construct” is the idea of having gone on a plane before a construct too

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Anonymous

#3 4d

…? I mean we’re talking about two very different things, idk how you think it’s comparable to a plane lmao but yeah, virginity is a construct, a product of different elements that may not be proved, resulting from ideology, history, or social circumstances

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Anonymous

#3 4d

But alright, I’ll play ig, if you want to compare it to the idea of having gone on a plane, does it count if you’ve gone in a big commercial plane? What ab if you’ve only ever flown a one-seater? Does it count if you took a picture inside a plane but never flew in it? Or does it only matter that you’ve technically touched the plane? Does it matter if you go in helicopters all the time? And, the overarching question, why the fuck does it matter?

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Anonymous

OP 4d

Have you ever had sex? No = virgin Yes = not virgin That alone is not a construct

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Anonymous

#3 4d

Missed the key part of that, it may not be proved— there’s no medical/biological way to prove it, it’s a construct bc it’s resulting from societal culture, not an objective truth—

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Anonymous

OP 4d

There is no ambiguity you either have or haven’t been on a plane before. Same thing you either have or haven’t had sex. Being not provable or not is unrelated to something being a social construct. Race can be proven in many instances and in others it cannot be. Race is still a social construct.

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Anonymous

#3 4d

Dude my whole point is what fucking counts and why should it count, and there are people who don’t know how to answer because there *is* ambiguity— As for your second part, I don’t really… get your point bc it feels contradictory to your argument? If you agree that race is a social construct, how are you also arguing that virginity isn’t?

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Anonymous

#3 4d

it’s a construct because it also doesn’t apply to everyone. when does a lesbian lose their virginity? what is considered sex? oral sex? hand stuff? just penetration? why does it matter and what does it change about an individual and when does that change happen according to the specific kind of sex?

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Anonymous

OP 4d

Because virginity is not a philosophical concept it is describing someone who has done something versus someone who hasn’t.

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Anonymous

#3 4d

What counts as having sex, though?

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