Anonymous #1 20h

Agreed. I’ve spoken to many men who brag about their bodies and when they talk about it they describe very awful experiences that he did not consent to along with some cases being abused as a minor. So some people even the abused don’t even know it was SA.

17

Anonymous #3 20h

I was talking with one of my best friends and he described what happened to him. He didn’t know it was insane until we talked about it and still thought that he did something wrong and it was his fault. He traveled to meet this person who he was friends with in another country. That person trapped him there in their house, drank constantly, confessed feelings and was very touchy. He thought that pulling away would ruin the friendship and ended up in a very bad situation with no one else to help

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Anonymous #1 20h

That sounds horrible. I’ve been in a scenario where I had to fight off a drunk touchy feely and I know that fear so I’m sorry to hear he felt obligated

5

Anonymous #4 20h

I hope you can find some form of healing and peace. Know it wasn’t your fault and you saying anything at all is extremely brave. I respect the hell out of you for saying something here and potentially making other men who experienced the same feel less alone.

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Anonymous #5 19h

I'm healed. Her rape of me doesn't represent who she is as a person. She made a mistake and acknowledges it and hasn't done it again since. That said, I'll never really feel comfortable sharing the fact widely

9

Anonymous #7 18h

Maybe you are just a bad person. Being a victim doesn't prevent you from helping other victims. It says an enormous amount about your character that you hear about male sexual assault, and your mind immediately jumps to vilifying the victim and minimizing it. Your toxicity is directly the reason why the gender wars are getting worse which is a genuine risk to both male and female health. Seek help, and I hope you can grow beyond your self-absorbed narcissism.

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Anonymous #4 18h

what you comprehended, and what i wrote, are two completely different things.

-6

Anonymous #7 18h

You are deflecting a topic about genuine male SA victims into female SA victimhood. You have a malicious intent to dismiss male victim suffering by raising the topic of male SA perpetrators. You are talking about men raping women in a thread that's raising awareness of women raping men, a topic that is often dismissed. You should feel ashamed of yourself.

14

Anonymous #7 18h

What's an incredible irony is that the top post in this thread complains of this very issue, and your deflection of male SA victimhood is a case-in-point. Of course male SA victims are overlooked, because people like you immediately derail any support for them into a conversation about female SA victims at the hands of men (where the implication is MEN don't deserve help because they all SA women). Again, get help.

13

Anonymous #4 18h

the question was “do you think male SA victims are overlooked?” the follow-up mentioned a woman, but the question itself did not imply we were only speaking about men that are victims of female SA. i read your other comment about what happened to you and i understand your anger. it is valid and i don’t hold it against you. i wish you nothing but healing and happiness.

-6

Anonymous #7 17h

It doesn’t seem like you have much empathy though as your first comment was on who set the system up and seemingly victim blaming. No one should get SAd ever, it’s a horrible thing. I worry about victims of SA no matter the gender because gender shouldn’t define how much care I have. I care about my guy friend’s SA as much as I do my girl friend’s

6

Anonymous #1 17h

As a male survivor myself I gotta be real that saying our cases are overlooked “because” men are less likely to speak out kinda feels like taking out the central aspect of the stigma on male survivors and placing the blame on us as survivors for not being open. I’m not open because when I have been I was told they didn’t believe me, that men couldn’t be sa’d, that it was my fault. The stigma is the monster feeding both our silence and the fact that we are often overlooked. It’s the same thing

9

Anonymous #8 17h

And to be clear, I’m in no way saying there’s only a stigma towards male survivors. There’s obviously a clear stigma around all survivors and especially female survivors. I do think there’s a unique stigma towards us that we haven’t made much if any progress on, whereas there’s been conversation and some semblance of progress on the other side of the coin.

6

Anonymous #7 17h

As a male survivor keep it moving #4, justice isn’t a fucking pie

11

Anonymous #7 17h

This is the exact same bullshit as when straight men use male survivors as an excuse to deflect from talking about rape culture, just from a slightly different pov

10

Anonymous #4 17h

Brother as someone who’s been through something similar it absolutely represents who she is as a person. Once a rapist always a rapist. If that’s a line she felt comfortable crossing once, she absolutely will try to again. I hope you get in a safe situation

15

Anonymous #8 16h

I'm sorry. I didn't mean for it to come off like that or downplay what happened to anyone. I was just trying to say that men speak out less and are therefore less likely to be properly represented, not that what happened to them was any less harmful or that it was their fault because it definitely isn't. Society has just created an environment where men in particular don't feel like it was "that bad"

2

Anonymous #8 15h

This is literally the same shit as “black lives matter”, no “all lives matter”. Honestly, take a long hard look in the mirror #7, everybody deserves an opportunity to be heard. I can earnestly believe you didn’t mean to belittle the cause, however this is exactly what you did when you chose to try and pivot the topic for your purposes, before taking a moment to listen and understand.

8

Anonymous #8 7h

Wait I meant 7 but Ig yall knew that

1