Ask Women on Sidechat | if I had sex w a dude bc I was fine w doing other things but kept saying no when he suggested sex and then I felt pressured bc I didn’t want him to be mad at me so finally I said yes, what does that mean? That’s not rape right

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Ask Women 12h

if I had sex w a dude bc I was fine w doing other things but kept saying no when he suggested sex and then I felt pressured bc I didn’t want him to be mad at me so finally I said yes, what does that mean? That’s not rape right

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Anonymous 12h

Being coerced still counts as sexual assault because you were not comfortable with it and u were reasonably afraid of what he could do if u denied him. If you keep saying no and eventually say yes the 10th time doesn’t make it ok

Anonymous 12h

Coercion is a form of rape 😔

Anonymous 12h

You can say no or stop at any point even if you had originally said yes. If they keep going or coerce you into saying yes or giving in then that is sexual coercion and is a form of assault.

Anonymous 12h

Not technically rape if you consented but that doesn’t mean it can’t hurt or that you’re mentally okay about it. Sorry that happened <33

Anonymous 12h

That is not rape. If you don’t want to and he doesn’t accept a no, leave. If he is pushing a firm boundaries like that he is not worth your time. I’m sorry that happened to you but a guy being mad is better than feeling forced into sex

Anonymous 7h

If you’re afraid anything bad will happen because of you saying no, that is not consent. The only reason you should ever have sex is because you fully want to. Anyone who truly cares about you will care more about your autonomy than their desires.

Anonymous 12h

No one forced you to say yes

-12

Anonymous

#3 12h

Coercion is still sexual assault. Not every situation is safe to say “no” and leave from.

Anonymous

#7 12h

You need help.

Anonymous

#5 12h

Am I wrong

-8

Anonymous

#7 12h

Yeah, in the head. Coercion is not consent.

Anonymous

#5 12h

Was she forced to say yes? I didn’t hear her mention a gun or weapon or anything forcing her to

-11

Anonymous

#4 12h

Consent can be taken back at any point.

Anonymous

#6 12h

Yet she didn’t lol

-5

Anonymous

#7 12h

I really hope you never have to experience anything like it. It’s fucking disgusting you’re saying “lol” to a very serious issue. You need therapy to learn even a shred of decency.

Anonymous

#5 12h

There is a reason you didn’t answer that question

-6

Anonymous

#5 12h

This person is literally just advertising that they have most likely forced someone before or ignored their nonconsent

Anonymous

#7 11h

If you can read or have any comprehension skills you would see that she said no to having sex and then he pressured her into it. Coercion is not consent buddy. Even if she said yes to doing other things she still said no to sex until she felt so pressured and was afraid he’d get mad that she said yes.

Anonymous

#6 11h

7 doesn’t know what it’s like for others to not cover their drinks around him.

Anonymous

#5 11h

Most people should take care of their drinks at all times. The fact you think otherwise tells me why you see nothing wrong with this post lol

-6

Anonymous

#7 11h

Yeah, there is something wrong with it. Coercion and assault. Yet you’re defending it because you’re problematic and contribute to it.

Anonymous

#5 11h

So she was forced to say yes and also forced to never ask him to stop during?

-6

Anonymous

#7 11h

You are revolting. Imaging defending sexual assault and thinking you’re not in need of serious interventional mental help.

Anonymous

#5 11h

It’s a yes or no question and there is a reason you aren’t answering

-5

Anonymous

#3 9h

You can’t always leave have you heard of a freeze response

Anonymous

#6 8h

Then yeah, it would be rape

Anonymous

#7 8h

It’s assault no matter how you try to paint it.

Anonymous

#5 8h

This person has no concept of what consent is obviously. They will die on this hill. Just let them at this point. Maybe this is some way of them trying to justify them doing this to someone too. How could they say they haven’t if they don’t understand what this is.

Anonymous

#5 7h

Where did the op say it wasn’t safe

-4

Anonymous

#5 7h

Are you going to answer my question or not?

-3

Anonymous

#7 7h

Rape apologists don’t deserve teeth.

Anonymous

#9 7h

I recently broke up with my ex, who did a similar thing to me (but not as bad). Looking back, he did a lot that showed lack of respect for me and my choices. Only one guy ever truly respected my boundaries. We were kissing, and he got a little handsy. I made one noise, not even a word, and he immediately said “Oh wait you’re not comfortable with that?” and then stopped.

Anonymous

#9 7h

Haven’t seen that guy in years, but I’m so glad he was there to set the standards and give me something to compare men to. It probably also means I’ll die single because few men follow even this basic standard, but that is preferable to the bullshit.

Anonymous

#5 7h

Got that right. Actually they don’t deserve their genitals. Castration is such a beautiful thing. Hey dude, I know you don’t want your parts cut off, but you better do it or we’ll all be mad.

Anonymous

#9 7h

It seems like you’re already mad so I’ve got that covered

Anonymous

#7 7h

Uh, like I’ve said before if you can read and comprehend she said she didn’t want him to get mad. That can become an unsafe situation. Bro, like just say you have no concept of consent and take the L.

Anonymous

#6 7h

So because she predicted he MAY become angry even though he wasn’t at the time she was forced?

-2

Anonymous

#7 6h

How do you know he wasn’t at the time? Yes, I know she didn’t say he was but he kept pressuring her. That is coercion. That is not consent. What is not getting through to you about that? Do you not think coercing someone into having sex with you is bad? Answer that yes or no.

Anonymous

#6 6h

I will answer your question after you answer mine

-2

Anonymous

#7 6h

I already did dude. She was coerced into having sex with him. That is force. It may not mean she had a gun to her head but it is still force. So now answer my question. Yes or no. It’s simple. I’m sure your half a brain cell can do that right?

Anonymous

#6 6h

I find it funny how badly you want an answer from someone you deem incompetent it’s hilarious

-2

Anonymous

#7 6h

But you can’t even answer the question. Is coercing someone into having sex with you bad? You want yes or no questions from us and I’ve been giving you answers but you can’t do that?

Anonymous

#7 6h

Answer the question. It’s easy, right? Yes or no.

Anonymous

#7 6h

Imma speak as someone who has been coerced into stuff. You are terrified in that moment and your only thoughts in your mind are on how to not get hurt. Your brain rationalizes with you it’s better to say yes because if I don’t they will just do it anyways. Often escape is not an answer, for me he was holding onto my arm and wouldn’t let go until I said yes no matter how hard I pulled away (it left bruises), for others it’s because they are scared they will get hurt more

Anonymous

#10 6h

I’ve been through similar situations. I’m sorry that happened to you.

Anonymous

#6 6h

It’s genuinely one of the hardest things someone can go through. I’m so happy you made it through it

Anonymous

#10 6h

I’m glad you did too

Anonymous

#7 6h

#6 is probably the type of girl that gets upset a guy didn’t pick up on her signals and keep pursuing her after she said no

-1

Anonymous

#11 4h

What point are you trying to make? If I said no then fuck off. Don’t keep trying. That’s creepy if you keep trying after I have told you no. Lmao. Just making yourself out it be a creep like the person you’re apparently defending.

Anonymous

#7 3h

Yes

Anonymous

#10 2h

The OP never described the guy as doing anything like that so idk why you all are assuming there was some similar threat at play they would’ve said so