Ask Women on Sidechat | Prior to meeting my fiancé I have been to 30 states and 10 countries. I have maintained the expectation that I still plan to finish the U.S. it’s my goal and that Hawaii is the last state as a family trip. Is that unreasonable?

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Ask Women 2d

Prior to meeting my fiancé I have been to 30 states and 10 countries. I have maintained the expectation that I still plan to finish the U.S. it’s my goal and that Hawaii is the last state as a family trip. Is that unreasonable?

Anonymous 2d

This is absolutely not unreasonable. I’ve not left the country (yet) but I’ve been to 45 states. It’s a non negotiable for me that I (we) are able to travel, together.

Anonymous 2d

Not unreasonable in the slightest!

Anonymous

#1 2d

And I love traveling and I even reduced the amount traveling I’ve done to accommodate him and have him be able to do it with me as much as he can without interfering with his job which only leaves us the winter because he in season from Feb to beginning of December but he doesn’t want me traveling alone anymore (all of my foreign countries were alone), not go to states i haven’t been or to go to states only my family live. So I can’t leave the country or new states. I feel that’s unfair.

Anonymous

OP 2d

I feel as if that is extremely unfair for him put on you. I can understand foreign countries as it’s across the world, but for him to tell you that he “doesn’t want you to” feels more like “you’re not allowed to” from the way you’re putting it. And maybe I’m reading it wrong, but for him to tell you aren’t able to do smth comes across as controlling. You’ve (in my eyes) have accommodated him so much, and he won’t give a little?

Anonymous

#1 2d

I’m not saying you need to drop him & never see him again, but for him to put this on you seems unfair.

Anonymous

#1 2d

I told him we need to have a big conversation about it because it such a turn from how when before just at dating he’d be so interested about my travels and all the trinkets I’d bring home. Especially because my favorite part is finding either a car or motorcycle shop and getting him a tshirt. I don’t understand the switch. At first it was about safety being a woman traveling so I even switch from road trips in the car to plane rides. I love with all my heart, I hope there is a resolution.

Anonymous

OP 2d

I hope you two are able to find a solution. You sound like you truly love him, but you should not have to give up what makes you you, because of reservations he has. I genuinely hope and wish the best for you, because there’s only so much you can give before you’re not you, but an addition of him.

Anonymous

#1 2d

I do too, thank you for some insight.

Anonymous

OP 2d

I hope I was able to help in some way. Forever wishing you the best.