It took longer than it should have. I was so embarrassed that I let it happen and let it get that bad. Part of my still is but I’m so grateful I’m safe again.

29

Anonymous #8 8w

shes using a euphemism. she wouldnt say it if she meant he held her arm or smth casual

23

Anonymous #9 8w

Sounds like she’s being intentionally vague

-19

Anonymous #8 8w

thats what a euphemism is friend. less offensive language to communicate the same thing. similar to "they touched me" rather than "i was sexually assaulted/raped"

19

Anonymous #9 8w

Well why am I supposed to feel bad if I don’t know what happened. Someone touching you isn’t the same as being raped. I’ve been touched by women, I haven’t been raped

-14

Anonymous #8 8w

Okay first off that’s a crazy thing to ask. And a crazy thing to just assume. However since you’re so invested he hit me. And did some many other awful things that have caused the police and other services to be involved.

23

Anonymous #8 8w

ur being disingenuous & im not continuing this conversation

29

Anonymous OP 8w

That’s horrible. How is that crazy to say?

-12

Anonymous #9 8w

No I’m not

-14

Anonymous #8 8w

look up what euphemism means & then we can talk

19

Anonymous #9 8w

I know what it is lol it just seemed weird. It’s an anonymous app gng

-14

Anonymous #8 8w

what does this being an anonymous app have to do w anything?😭 & if u know what a euphemism is then ud know that equating u being "touched" by other women casually isnt the same as someone using the euphemism of getting "touched" inappropriately as a way of saying they were sexually assaulted/raped. u can think its weird but going after op for using a euphemism to describe their experience w domestic violence is weirder

21

Anonymous #8 8w

It’s none of your fucking business to know what happened, and you don’t need to know anything to have sympathy for somebody. I fear that’s common human dignity, and respect for someone. They don’t need to tell you the full story or explain themselves to someone who has no idea what they are talking about.

21

Anonymous #8 8w

If it’s nonconsensual sexual Contact then it is SA, you don’t need to go all the way for it to be considered assault.

17

Anonymous #8 8w

It wasn’t your business to ask. Why do you have to know what happened?

26

Anonymous OP 8w

Please don’t be embarrassed, it’s an extremely hard thing to get out of. Be very proud you were able to see the warning signs and get out as safely as you could. Many women don’t even get that far

17

Anonymous #8 8w

Because you’re essentially pushing an abuse victim to talk in further detail about said abuse when it’s very clear what she means. Stfu

18

Anonymous #8 8w

wth is wrong with you. read the room

9

Anonymous #17 8w

He might be infatuated with you or obsessed, but you don’t beat someone you love.

8

Anonymous #17 8w

Don’t do it! Think of everything you didn’t like about him. Thats who he is. Can’t get over someone if you think about what you like about them.

2

Anonymous #11 8w

We live states away from each other. It only happened once & not to defend him but I did provoke it just keeping it real. He could’ve handled it better but reacted instead. I just don’t know anymore but he’s the only one my heart wants he says we’re soulmates & idk if he means it or if he’s just trying to manipulate me

1

Anonymous #4 8w

That’s tough tho bc he is just as good as he was bad. I mean honestly the only thing that sucked about him was that he’s an eye candy & so he never had a problem pulling girls 😒 but he’s so attentive, giving, & a provider like Urgh

1

Anonymous #17 8w

You say you’re not trying to defend him but that’s what you’re doing. Don’t go back to people who hurt you, especially physically. They don’t just stop out of nowhere and you loving them won’t fix them. It’ll get worse and escalate until your life is in danger. I know you say you love him and that you’re soulmates, but if he actually loved you so much he wouldn’t hurt you. Sorry if this sounds harsh but it’s the truth

6

Anonymous #12 8w

It’s okay & please be harsher than that bc idk if I’m being delusional. I don’t have anyone to talk to about this that I can trust bc my own family has weaponized personal experiences to hurt me so I really feel like I’m drowning. I feel so stupid & worthless & like I don’t deserve anything, even him.

1

Anonymous #17 8w

Ok then I’ll say it, you’re delusional. No one that hits you loves you and you’re correct that you don’t deserve that shit. But I also think you’re delusional because everyone deserves love and no one is worthless. I promise you, if he is actually hurting you, you have rose colored glasses on and he’s not nearly as good as you’re saying. It just feels like all of this right now because you’re in the middle of it all. If you do really think you love him this much, don’t break up fully but just-

1

Anonymous #17 8w

Take a break and work on yourself for a while. Get yourself into a good place mentally away from him, shouldn’t be too hard since you’re states away, and if he really thinks you’re soulmates, he’ll give you the time and space. I also think it’ll tell you more about what he’s actually like. If he freaks out about the break or starts to threaten or talk down to you, then you will have seen his true colors. If he takes it well or even just sits down to have a real convo with you about it, then-

1

Anonymous #12 8w

Maybe it’s something to come back to after the break. But you and anyone else reading this deserves love, real love, that doesn’t include violence or harm period.

1

Anonymous #12 8w

I really REALLY appreciate you for taking the time out of your day to be the friend that I need 😭😭 but this whole thing is extremely complicated. We broke things off hence why he moved states away but had a baby during the break especially since I wasn’t taking him back anytime soon. He came back around a year later to try again I was being resentful for the whole baby situation so I didn’t take him back. He’s back again supposedly begging but claims he wanted to give me time & space to heal but

1

Anonymous #17 8w

It’s me who he wants a future with in the end & I hate him so much for telling me these things now bc I did move on & found someone that treats me better than he did but it’s just not the same bc with this guy it’s not that serious it’s not that deep I don’t even think either of us see a future together we’re just in it for the time being ig but he does says he loves me so now I’m feeling fucked

1

Anonymous #17 8w

AND fucked UP

1

Anonymous #17 8w

Girl. He went and had a whole ass BABY WITH SOMEONE ELSE. THATS no going anywhere, that’s his kid and he’s partially responsible for at least another 18 years, do you really want to deal with that??? You don’t have to have anything deep with the other guy if you don’t want to, but damn girl the first guy clearly doesn’t love you as much as he says. Something else didn’t go so well for him so now he’s crawling backs and will say anything to get you back. Don’t go back

1

Anonymous #12 8w

That’s what I’m thinking too that I’m just the last minute option foolish enough to fall for it in the name of fucking love. God I’m so pathetic 😂😂😂😂😂

1

Anonymous #17 8w

It’s ok girl, at least you realized before you went back. It’s hard to break yourself out of cycles especially when you’re in them and you think you love the other person. Now it’s time to love yourself enough to not go back to that shit ass man

1

Anonymous #12 8w

It’s just hard I realized this links back to childhood trauma. I was always chasing after my mother’s love & approval & it always felt like no matter what I did it never felt like it was good enough which made me wanna push harder.. His neglect & lack of attention makes me want to chase that validation

1

Anonymous #17 8w

I don’t have the strength to block him bc I want him to reach out to me. I want to hear what he has to say. I’m curious to try it once more

1

Anonymous #17 8w

Well the first step is recognizing what’s causing all of this. Now you just have to stay firm in your boundaries. You deserve to have a happy life with people who care about you🫶🏻

1

Anonymous #12 8w

Don’t you just want to slap me lol I’m so stupid

1

Anonymous #17 8w

Girl. He’s not a peach. There is nothing you could say to make a good man hit you. If you instigated a fight by putting hands on him first then you’re both toxic but I’d still say get therapy but don’t go backwards.

8

Anonymous #4 8w

I know I need to block him for a while but I’m not ready to lose that just yet smh

1

Anonymous #17 8w

No. You need to block him permanently. ✂️

7