Anonymous #2 1d

I am a man in a relationship. I’d say the very simple difference at play here is that men are willing to have sex with women who they don’t want a relationship with, much more often than most women. Obviously there are exceptions but the bar for sex for men is usually much lower. This leads to a mismatch in expectations because women think when we have sex with them, we want to date them, but usually this is not the case. Personally, my body count is in the 60s and I’d wanna date < 5 of them

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Anonymous #4 1d

so if you’re just looking for hookups, that should always be communicated so both parties know what it is. no problem with getting around but there should never be a mismatch in expectations. if that is communicated and agreed on and someone still gets attached and wants an official relationship then that’s a different problem.

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Anonymous #3 1d

I think the issue with your view is that the men are expected to communicate when it doesn’t impact us. girls will never say before having sex, “I am looking for a relationship and only having sex with you under expectation of a relationship.” in my experience they just have sex and get hurt after. I am fine having sex, I don’t think the burden of communication falls on the party that is fine not communicating, the burden falls on the woman in this situation.

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Anonymous #3 1d

If only the girl has a problem with casual sex, the onus is on HER to communicate beforehand about it. Otherwise if we have sex, too bad, you did it, Yes, it’s a totally different thing if the guy lies about his intentions. That’s awful. But I’d also add that we are all young adults and new to love. Often times I’ve been in situations where I liked the girl in the moment of sex but later I realized I don’t actually like her or I noticed more red flags. Opinions can change over time.

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Anonymous #4 1d

yes it can definitely go both ways, but if you also did not communicate it’s just as much on you. with sex involved and no clear intentions from either party it can get complicated. just because someone else didn’t communicate doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have to either.

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Anonymous #4 1d

opinions changing over time is also a completely different thing than just wanting a hookup. yes of course you can decide that you don’t want a serious relationship at any time, but i believe that if you are the one who just wants a hookup and nothing serious, you should make that clear before having sex. as a woman i always have done that for men i’ve been with to avoid confusion, hurt feelings, or dangerous situations for both parties. i think that honesty is the best policy for hookups.

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Anonymous #4 1d

Thx for your opinion but that’s not what I was talking about. I wasn’t referring to JUST hooking up and having sex to have sex. Because honestly where you have it wrong is that many girls don’t think “oh we had sex now this must mean he wants a relationship”. I’M referring to when guys pursue the girl first and meet the check boxes off, now the girl has caught feelings but now that she has the guy immediately pulls away. Now the girl is left wondering what’s going on and feeling stupid for

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Anonymous #2 1d

Thinking this was gonna be something. All because a guy was bored.

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Anonymous #2 1d

What do you mean “meet the checkboxes off”. Of course I’m going to be nice to a girl and treat her like a gentleman even if I don’t want a relationship with her? What do you expect?

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Anonymous #3 1d

I guess that’s where our opinions differ because my belief is whoever has a problem with casual sex has the responsibility to bring their problem up. If you don’t have a problem with it you shouldn’t have to bring it up.

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Anonymous #4 1d

I’d also add the majority of the time I’ve acted nice to a girl and then pulled away and she’s caught feelings and gotten hurt, it was because I was just bored and trying to have fun or because I was interested in the moment but later saw her flaws. It’s okay for guys to have fun too, and it’s okay for guys to notice flaws in their partner which make us not want to pursue you. Nobody is entitled to a relationship.

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Anonymous strawberry_hair 1d

LITERALLY LIKE WTH IS A “situationship”

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Anonymous #4 1d

Yk what I’m done defending myself and trying to make a point to someone who’s g-spot is up their ass! 😁 So, that being said. Good day and my thoughts and prayers are with your gf

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Anonymous #2 1d

LITERALLY! You want a girlfriend but won’t date her? You like her but not enough to spend time with her? If you “aren’t ready for a relationship” don’t lead people on- like???

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Anonymous strawberry_hair 14h

EXACTLY IT AINT THAT HARD

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