Ask Women on Sidechat | can someone give a girl GENUINE advice on how to talk to men instead of dudes sliding in my DMs all like ohhh i can fix that? ive never had a bf and have at the most held hands with a boy in middle school. im a freshman in college, pls help. 🥲

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Ask Women 4w

can someone give a girl GENUINE advice on how to talk to men instead of dudes sliding in my DMs all like ohhh i can fix that? ive never had a bf and have at the most held hands with a boy in middle school. im a freshman in college, pls help. 🥲

Anonymous 4w

I’ve always tried to be myself around guys and not be so tense. Try to express my personality and things about me that I enjoyed and see if we hit it off that way. Any guy that was immediately weird and horny I’d block. Most others I tend to try to hang out with before ever trying to get to know them

Anonymous 4w

Same honestly and I felt so behind

Anonymous 4w

As a guy who recently got in a relationship b afraid to make an initial move as a woman. True nice ones we scared to make a woman uncomfortable

🌁

Anonymous 4w

You’re FAR from alone. I didn’t have my first kiss until I was 20 and I’m almost 22 now. The key is to talk to men. I suggest exercising caution when you meet a new guy as well. My naivety to men’s cruelty at that age led to me being hurt emotionally and physically. I’m not trying to scare you, I’m trying to give you advice so you don’t get hurt like I did. Truth is, there ARE sweet and honorable men out there. You just gotta look for them. I’m here if you need someone to talk to.

Anonymous 4w

Talk to men like they’re people! I promise you it’s not as scary as it seems! Literally, as you’re walking out of class ask anyone walking by “hey where are you going next? And then say, hey I’m going to get a coffee or something to eat. Would you like to join me?”

Anonymous 4w

I’m going to be honest a lot of men are simple (it’s a stereotype for a reason). Compliment them (wow you’re good at this, omg you’re pretty smart), play into their ego. Looking pretty will also help (you don’t necessarily need makeup but you should look well kept- at the very least shower and wear something clean). Most men are pretty receptive to women approaching them, and typically women are the ones choosing who they want to date (in most dating cultures)- so definitely don’t rush things

Anonymous 4w

I just talked to guys and girls more or less the same. with the guy I liked, he and I kept finding reasons to spend more and more time just the two of us until it became really obvious that we were on the same page and he asked me out

Anonymous 4w

I think a big thing to keep in mind is once you are interested in a guy, as scary as it is, you need to make it blatantly obvious you like them. You need to flirt and touch them (appropriately) on the arm or shoulder or something so that they know and can either ask you out or give you signs that they aren’t interested. If you just act friendly and wait they’ll have no idea if you would say yes to a date if they asked and that’s scary.

Anonymous

#1 4w

thank you. ONE min this post has been up and two dudes already said “whats the snap” I WANT ADVICE NOT A BOOTY CALL PLS 😭😭

Anonymous

OP 4w

I always have DM’s off for this reason!

Anonymous

#3 4w

probably shouldve thought of that 💀

Anonymous

#4 4w

As a bro,☝️is good advice, only catch is that you need to keep in mind that your interest really do not need to line up. Men and women naturally find different things interesting so you will have a much harder time dating if you explicitly seek out someone with similar interest. but to reiterate, #4 gets it

Anonymous

#5 4w

Oh I’m a big nerd I tend to hang with other nerdy men so I’m not yapping someone’s head off about like a video game or something. Can be quite helpful bc I start to yap a lot if I get on tangents 😃

Anonymous

#5 4w

A couple wouldn’t have to have all the same interests, but they do need something to talk about that’s interesting to both of them, whatever that is. Also, interests can tie in with a person‘s schedule and finances, so you want to be sure you aren’t opposites in those factors.

Anonymous

#4 4w

I’m like this about my interest too. I held out for someone who lives the musician life as much as I do, and it was totally worth it.

Anonymous

#4 4w

women such as you are rare, i'm sure you can tell by looking around the fanbase of any game you play that isn't genshin or something to that effect. I'm giving advice based on the average couple where you can't always expect interest to align.

-4

Anonymous

#5 4w

I’m ngl I’m not a fan of genshin or games like Infiniti Nikki. Although I don’t think we need to have everything in common but at least a similar niche is helpful to me bc we can bounce off each other in conversation. Probably why I’m always gravitating towards other weird and nerdy people. It’s easier for me to talk to them (I have social anxiety 😃)

Anonymous

#5 4w

I think a person has every right to decide they only want to date someone whose interests align. Personally, I wouldn’t want to be in a relationship where the main thing we have in common is that we enjoy romance and having sex. That’s not enough for me.

Anonymous

#4 4w

Of course it helps tremendously, but it isn't always reasonable to expect outside of hobbies which are gender agnostic (hiking and camping is the big one for me)

Anonymous

#3 4w

I didn't say romance had to be the main thing. My only thing that we must have in common is Orthodox Christian faith.

Anonymous

#5 4w

Wanting only an Orthodox Christian woman is perfectly valid, but that’s the same principle. Anyone can choose to limit their dating pool based on what’s important to them, whether that’s their faith or a hobby/interest.

Anonymous

#6 4w

*dont be afraid sorry DONT. Worst possible typo

Anonymous

#8 4w

Even this isn’t enough sadly. You just gotta tell them you like them when you’re sure. I’ve seen some men think that touching and laughing hysterically is “friendly”

Anonymous

#10 4w

As a man this is correct

Anonymous

#3 4w

It is similar but not the same, disagreements reguarding faith are wholly irreconcilable as it is the foundation of both my life and future. However having very different hobbies than your partner is something rather trivial to deal with if the relationship has a strong foundation. All i'm saying is that it may not be wise to restrict your dating pool based on less important things as the pools of good men/women for ltr's is small enough as is.

Anonymous

#5 4w

Ultimately, if you believe you must have shared interest, that is totally fine, i just encourage you to consider the pros and cons of restricting your dating pool in such a way.

Anonymous

#5 4w

slight addendum: if you do make the signals super obvious, we can kinda tell you are interested, HOWEVER we are largely unwilling to ask on inexplicit signs due to the small chance we are wrong and come off as weird.

Anonymous

#10 3w

Well my friend, no one should be laughing hysterically, and it is enough the majority of the time. I’m sorry if you would still be too nervous but that’s not a universal truth.

-3

Anonymous

#8 3w

There are no “universal truths”. Every single person experiences every single interaction subjectively and differently. However general behaviors or archetypes of groups of people can help explain why OP might not be getting reciprocation despite them believing they themselves are showing “enough” signs (laughing, touching). Everything we say about our subjective experiences informs OP of possibilities that the person they’re engaging with might share similar thoughts.