Ask Women on Sidechat | How do you deal with a friend who has internalized homophobia and kinda perpetuates negative stereotypes about like queer women?

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Ask Women 4d

How do you deal with a friend who has internalized homophobia and kinda perpetuates negative stereotypes about like queer women?

Anonymous 4d

Sounds like internalized misogyny too

Anonymous 3d

call them out. if they don’t change / correct behaviour leave them and never look back.

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Anonymous 4d

Honestly? I’d call them out (politely) and explain why what she is saying is offensive or rude. Sometimes people simply don’t realize.

Anonymous 4d

I have a friend who came out as bi and she’s always saying she’d never date a woman bc she doesn’t want to be the man in the relationship or because she doesn’t want to be a provider (even though you don’t have to apply heteronormative roles to wlw dynamics?) she’s also make comments about gay men too?

Anonymous 3d

Does it affect YOU personally?

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Anonymous

OP 4d

She’s said that she recognizes that growing up religious could’ve played a role in her like being open to the idea of women sexually but not enough to date or be romantically involved but I think a lot of the comments she makes about women and her perspective of relationships between women is skewed idkkk

Anonymous

#1 4d

You know I never considered that, would you mind explaining bc I didn’t make the connection till now

Anonymous

OP 4d

Well they seem to hard conform to heteronormativity not wanting to “be the man in the relationship” or the “provider.” In addition to this it often case that a good portion of negativity towards gay men tends to come from one’s perception of viewing them as feminine or not what a man should be

Anonymous

#1 3d

Thank you for your explaining! I had an idea that misogny could play a role I just didn’t know how to explain or describe what was happening

Anonymous

strawberry_hair 3d

What would be a good way to approach that without her getting defensive/thinking I’m policing her sexuality?

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Anonymous

OP 3d

I mean just point out what she says that’s odd. No one is the man in queer relationships, and no one is forced to be the provider.

Anonymous

strawberry_hair 3d

Ok thank you!

Anonymous

#4 3d

I’m not sure if this is intended to come across as rude but regardless it doesn’t have to directly impact me for me to find fault with it. Perpetuating negative stereotypes and mindsets towards the gay community is harmful either way.