Ask Women on Sidechat | need advice. I’m at a very pivotal point in my life I’m graduating this year and NEED straight As for my gpa. I am incredibly stressed and studying every single day. My roomate & my closest friend doesn’t understand (her major is less demanding)

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Ask Women 3w

need advice. I’m at a very pivotal point in my life I’m graduating this year and NEED straight As for my gpa. I am incredibly stressed and studying every single day. My roomate & my closest friend doesn’t understand (her major is less demanding)

Anonymous 3w

Not a woman, but have you tried teaching other people and group study?

Anonymous 3w

And anytime I say I can’t go out or that I’m quitting drinking she like presssured me to. I don’t want to lose her as a friend but at this point I only really am focused on my grades and she can’t seem to understand it. She asked me to go to a bar crawl this weekend and I literally don’t want to at all. How can I keep her as a friend if the only things she wants to do is drink and tries to belittle me or pressure me away from studying so I can hangout with her? It feels very selfish that

Anonymous 3w

It feels very selfish that just because she’s bored and doesn’t understand why I want to study all the time, she feels it’s fine to try and pressure me to get drunk.

Anonymous

OP 3w

Just politely decline explaining you have to study, you can’t be friends with everyone, and that’s okay. Maybe she’ll understand eventually, maybe she won’t, but you need to keep your priorities in order either way and get that 4.0

Anonymous

#1 3w

I try to explain it but she literally doesn’t care it seems. Or she just forgets that I said it and asks me to drink again the next weekend. I know I shouldn’t cut her off as a friend but should I just start saying no every single time even if it’s rude? I tried to squeeze in like a few dinners per week but then she complains that she has issues being alone and always needs to be hanging out with someone (I guess me) and it’s kinda pushing me over the edge bc I like alone time and having time

Anonymous

OP 3w

Having time to study.

Anonymous

#1 3w

Next time she asks I might just say I really have no time I’m sorry and I quit drinking

Anonymous

#1 3w

Kind of but I don’t really know other people in my classes so idk who I could teach or do a group study with

Anonymous

OP 3w

Introduce yourself be like hey I’m making a study group for this class wanna join the chat?

Anonymous

OP 3w

It’s normal and healthy to have boundaries, whether or not she wants to keep being friends if you enforce said boundaries is a decision for her. If she does cool, if she doesn’t cool. Just be kind and focus on school, not hanging out is not the end of the world let alone healthy friendships

Anonymous

OP 3w

You just need to say straight up no and maintain those boundaries no matter what. Thats the only way to get her to understand

Anonymous

#1 3w

Yea I’m going to try next time she asks, I know it probably shouldn’t bother me this much it just feels like she doesnt care that i get stressed about school and is desregarding it. Im also not used to someone wanting to hang out every day of the week cause i really like my alone time. But im defenitely going to try to set a clear boundary the next time she asks

Anonymous

OP 3w

Yeah most ppl in life will not care how you feel all that much ngl, it’s okay though. You also do not need to care what other people think about you, it’s a waste of energy away from stuff that actually matters; as long as you’re doing what’s morally right you’re chilling dude. She is prob not thinking abt this situation nearly as much as you, just communicate your priorities kindly and keep moving forward regardless of the response