Anonymous OP 4d

when everyones sober i would mention that you don’t like sharing drinks. you can just be vague - i just have a thing about it im kind of a germaphobe. then when you’re drunk you can play up the posessive aspect like - mine! don’t touch! as kind of a joke. you can also get drink covers and hold your drinks so it’s less easy for them to sip it. if people still try to take it out of your hand you can explain that something about sharing drinks feels gross for you

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Anonymous #1 4d

i think the key is making your preferences known early and putting the preference on you if someone tries to overstep or misses the boundary. that way whichever friend wants to try your drink doesn’t feel singled out or personally attacked

7

Anonymous #1 4d

ultimately a very easy solve - i know plenty of people like this just make sure the initial boundary is very clearly defined when everyone’s sober. maybe try to bring it up in conversation about food or drinks or something

4

Anonymous #1 4d

You’re right I do try I just feel so awkward most of my friends have stopped but one of my friends always says “I mean you don’t care if I drink this right like it doesn’t matter” and literally guilt trips me ughhh

6

Anonymous #1 4d

I’m defenitely going to tho cause I get so mad afterward

1

Anonymous #1 4d

I might also start saying I’m sick beforehand or something so they don’t touch my drinks but with my luck they’ll say they don’t care 😭

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Anonymous #3 4d

respect that and make sure they’re not crossing boundaries. i talked to my friends about it and they listened :)

1

Anonymous #3 4d

OMG I think I have ocd as well. I have crazy thoughts daily and the germs thing is defenitly recurring. I tried to say it to her once drunk that I get weird about germs but she must’ve forgot I said it cause the next time she just drank from mine again. I just get scared cause if i ever get a pimple near my lip I think it’s from them

4

Anonymous OP 3d

use her tactics against her. guilt tripping is easy. ‘you don’t care if i drink this right?’ ‘sorry i do, it just makes me really uncomfortable when people drink from my drink, i’ve been like that since i was little.’

0

Anonymous #1 3d

alternatively you can pull them aside when you’re sober and be like - ‘hey i don’t think i’ve told you this before but i’ve been trying to be more assertive about advocating for myself and i really hate it when people drink out of my glasses. i feel like you’re really good at being assertive do you have any suggestions for how i could talk to some of our other friends about it without making them uncomfortable?’

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Anonymous #1 3d

people generally like to be helpful. to be clear i don’t want to minimize your situation because i know this is genuinely distressing, but i do feel like there are a number of ways to go about it depending on what your comfortable with/what the dynamics are

1

Anonymous OP 3d

also everything feels awkward the first few times. it’s like wearing a hat an thinking “everyone knows i’m not a hat person” the more times you wear the hat the less weird it will feel

1

Anonymous #1 3d

You’re beating around the bush too much and being too passive with all this “as a joke” and “I’m trying to be more assertive and advocate for myself” nonsense she doesn’t need to say any of that or give any excuses all she needs to do is tell her friends straight up hey guys I don’t like having people drink out of my drink so can you please not do that to me when we’re out drinking? And then when they’re out drinking just straight up stop anyone in their tracks that attempts to drink from her

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Anonymous #4 3d

Drink whether it’s literally pulling her drink away from them and saying no, I told you I didn’t like people drinking out of my drink or just saying a straight up no if they ask her for alleged permission. And while you’re at it op, if I were you I’d tell them they need to not do that regardless of if the person is ok with it or not because it’s unhealthy and could be dangerous even (say a drink has gotten spiked or someone purposely messes with them via the drink).

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Anonymous #4 3d

fair. i started with that and then gave her some options for other approaches she could take if she’s not comfortable being that up front. her original question was how to get people to stop without insulting them. regardless, your suggestion is absolutely the most effective and sure-fire way to get people to stop

3