Anonymous #1 7w

oh so just because this is my first hookup doesn’t mean she’s not going to cum, like she cums first idgaf like she’ll cum 3 times before i even cum once and that’s a promise like idc i just wanna know if im supposed to act or say something differently than when i do it in relationships

1

Anonymous OP 7w

I mean it makes me uncomfortable if a hookup/fuck buddy gets too emotional. I need to keep my emotions out of it all if it’s casual, so I don’t want to have to feel the need to support theirs. I’m on my first FB and he’s gotten too emotional before and I had to pull back and talk to him about it. We 100% are not each other’s person but I understand how easily a physical relationship ties the heart because it does it to me. Oh and if you are relationship geared and you want to repeat,

1

Anonymous #2 7w

Don’t talk to each other for at least a few days after. Let your oxytocin levels go down to normal.

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Anonymous OP 7w

And if you’re relationship prone and want to keep it casual, don’t do anything with anyone that’s an actual friend. Don’t get to know them outside of their preferences, limits, what you did right, areas to improve, and their testing status. You aren’t dating and being a friend will ensure you get there or at least want to.

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Anonymous #2 7w

i really really appreciate your advice and i have an update

1

Anonymous OP 7w

passed out on my couch, like it was great sex like don’t get me wrong but like why would she say that when she said beforehand she’s not the type to get attached?

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Anonymous OP 7w

Holy defensive, I’ve never had a hookup where they even tried to make me cum😂 and the one who did now we’re dating and I’m having his baby

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Anonymous OP 7w

The same hormone women get when they have orgasms are the same hormone as “love” in our brain: oxytocin. It could go away when she gets farther from those moments but maybe don’t go back for more unless you think it could be cool to date her, don’t go back unless there’s at least a small possibility for relationship

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Anonymous #1 7w

I’ve never had a hookup where they didn’t try to make me cum.

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Anonymous #1 7w

Men also have oxytocin & can be just as susceptible to bonding as women.

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Anonymous OP 7w

Extended eye contact releases oxytocin. There’s actually couples workshops that make you stand and face each other for multiple minutes to encourage trust and love feelings. Also, I’m someone that gets attached to really good sex. I purposely found a fuck buddy that doesn’t share all my kinks and preferences, I can’t like being with them too much or I will want to keep them, I’m a switch he’s full lifestyle sub, etc.

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Anonymous OP 7w

Maybe she’s never had really good sex with someone enthusiastic. Not everyone does. I had a friend admit that her current boyfriend is the first in a long line that was really enthusiastic about her pleasure, I was dumbfounded but I guess those men are out there frequently. Won’t catch me faking it.

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Anonymous #2 7w

yeah i agree with everything that you and #1 are saying, its 10ish right now and she just woke up a bit ago and told me she had a really good time and asked if i was available in a few days (said she was sore) and i was like “uhh maybe if i get time off work or something” like im trying to keep the feelings out of it because thats what she wanted and she got all like mopey and was like “id go again now if i could” and then she smiled at me and left, my brain feels like it’s actually

1

Anonymous OP 7w

in a blender, like you say one thing before and now you act differently? like how am i even to think? like just because no one has ever been able to make you finish? like is that what all of this is about? like i stay true to my words but yeah i guess i just don’t know what to think like im off this weekend but trying to respect the time apart but ill update you all if she says anything, just super confusing

1

Anonymous OP 7w

Just have a convo with her and if you dont and won’t have any romantic feelings for her then tell her and give her the option to still hookup. At that point its her problem

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Anonymous #2 7w

Congratulations ur better at picking them than me😭😭😭💔 thank god I never have to go through my hookup phase ever again

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Anonymous #1 7w

I think it helps that I’m honest that I’m a little dominant in bed. The guys that don’t want to please don’t want to take orders either. The guys that are a little inept or aren’t sure what they’re doing but are trying to fake confidence till they become successful appreciate the clear communication and direction.

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Anonymous OP 7w

Maybe she was trying to manage your expectations or just not be too eager. #2 is right you need a conversation about whether you’re still on the same page and to work out whether you both want something together or you don’t.

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Anonymous #2 7w

I appreciate both of you replying, she texted me at about 6 and asked if we could meet up again tonight and so I called her and I asked her if she’s okay and she pretty much told me that she has never had anyone care that much about her and that she’s scared because she wants to continue but she doesn’t think that she would be good for me because she likes the attention that other guys give her but she also thinks that the other guys won’t do it like I did so

1

Anonymous OP 7w

she says that she feels attached, but she doesn’t know what she wants and I just told her that I would have to think about it but in all reality, I’m not going to sleep with someone that sleeps with a bunch of other people because that’s how I’m going to catch something, so for me it’s either just me or i’m out, like I don’t really know how to feel about it

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Anonymous OP 7w

Definitely tell her that if you like her or are interested, she will be forced to choose you or other guys, and then the answer is so obvious

1

Anonymous #1 7w

so i told her im interested and she said “but idk if ill be good to you, i cant cut off the roster just for you” so i said its fine ill leave then and she started texting that she was crying and she tried to call me like 7 times, like idk like i wont do that like i tried it before and it doesn’t feel right and she doesn’t wanna cut them off so idk what else to say or do

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Anonymous OP 7w

She’s gaslighting and trying to manipulate you dude. Run.

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Anonymous #2 7w

im about to, like i’m about to just block and forget about it like if you can’t make the choice then im making this choice for you

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Anonymous OP 7w

Just do it. Anyone who uses tears to manipulate is going to continue to try to get their way.

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Anonymous #2 7w

so so she showed up to my house drunk, I didn’t open the door but I also didn’t know what to say

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Anonymous OP 7w

I have an ex like this. He was a horrible mean person who was super insecure and had a constant need for validation that he wasn’t a horrible person while he was gaslighting me and constantly tearing me down with any level of vulnerability he gave me. Don’t give her anything.

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Anonymous OP 7w

Oh my god drunk driving is crazy😂 yeah if she can’t cut if the roster then walk away unless she says she will then you can decide if you believe her or not lmfaoo she sounds like me at 17 (I was going through it after a BADDD relationship)

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Anonymous #2 7w

I was like this and I’m not super insecure, it was just the time period I was in. Im actually way less insecure than the average girl and barely think ab what I look like or ppl cheating. I jumped right out of it into my current bfs arms and we’ve been together for over 2 years. I feel like you just have to have discretion with it. Worst case scenario you just dump them

1